In This House of Worship

One sexual reference, the rest should be pretty PG-13

I'm kneeling down on both of my folded legs, as a single candle illuminates hundreds of extinguished ones. In this graveyard of decorated flambeaux, my single lit candle looks a beacon of hope. Paraffin wax in sizes big and small, in every color of the rainbow, with more variation than a Google search for butt plugs.

 I speak out softly to no one, present: "Mother used to tell me I could talk to you about anything. How you'd never judge me here. Mom says she used to come speak with you too, but she doesn't need it anymore, she knows you're always in her heart."

 I take a slew of deep breaths, try to summon the courage to continue, and question how I've never actually been here before.

"Mom says you offer forgiveness, and that all I'll have to do is ask."

A sea of thick oils, electrolytes, and mucins trickle down my face, but I must continue.

"She says you'll offer forgiveness, and I want nothing more, but I can't ask, I don't deserve it."

Heavy precipitation flows down my eye sockets, my smeared makeup paints a picture on my face, that's not quite my own. I sit and cry for what can only seem like an eternity, to the living. I try to expel words from my mouth, try my best to purge my soul clean, reminding myself that I'm already here, that I might not get this chance again.

"I'm so very sorry. You would have always been the one who'd excel at this, always the one so very forgiving. But I suppose you have to be, when you're the golden child, and your little sisters such a f**k up."

I pause, but the crying is under control, the way only water impeded by a dam can be.

"I'm sorry we didn't spend more time together. Sorry it's you doing all the listening, you were always the most, interesting conversationalist. Mostly, I just want you to know how much I love you, how I'll always be proud of you, the way you were proud of me. I want you to believe me when I say that I'll spend the rest of my life, gratifyingly, trying to live up to your image."

I take another eternal second to gather my thoughts, to take a small bit of pride in finally getting everything out in the open, before blowing the flame out, on my single beacon of hope, and walk home into the night.

Reviews

[A Ghost of Myself]

Another well done write, Riley, I've had to train myself not to look for conventional aspects in your writings, as I know you like to look at an askew angle; and once more you delivered in expression and emotion making this an enjoyable read. A single moment in the flicker of light, captured for life, and never truly extinguished.

[RileyRedding]

Thank you kindly, I appreciate your feedback.

[Alfred Kukitz]

Riley,

On the whole a thought provoking piece of confession. Some sections don't fit the beauty of the piece. The google comment, a sea of thick oils.........etc. f**k is fine!

[Victoria Mae]

You do such detailed writing but with such a unique skill. This was wonderful to read. Well done!

[Harlotte Crow]

I have no issue placing myself in this scenario. It's so easy. The writing is so detailed yet unique and easy to relate to. The wording of the piece also helps to enhance the atmosphere and the actions of the characters.
Because of this, I feel like more than a reader, I feel like a bystander. The reader is drawn into the scene. In short, extremely well penned :)

[Amie Ravenson]

Very evocative imagery! The combination of the pooling, melting wax and the dripping, oily makeup create a sense of needing to ruin something to get to the purity underneath. Gorgeous! :-)

[Einstein Noodle]

"I take another eternal second ...."

rubber hits the road! .... biting satire ... no one spared ... you might do very well on Sat. Night Live :)
stuff that inspires self exam/recrimination ...
E.

[DoormanDan]

Every time I think your writing couldnt possibly get any better whatsoever, you find a way to prove me wrong! I especially love the vocab you incorporated into this piece. It really adds to the feel of the story :)

[Bee C.]

Your writing just captivates me. I love your writing style. And this piece, it's definitely up there in my favourite writes of yours. It's different from your usual work but the vivid imagery is just so very you... I felt like I was right there alongside her (you?), complete with candle scent and light in my mind. Where is the line between God and her brother, I wonder, in terms of worship?

My favourite line was the "sea of thick oils, electrolytes, and mucins" on her face. I couldn't say why that image was so very powerful to me, except that I got Frankenstein-esque vibes from it. A mix of religious and science-y connotations gave me a body-horror feeling for a moment. Perhaps that's just me and you didn't intend for that at all. But anyway I loved it.

This is really touching, another excellent write from you that remained strong throughout. Well done!

[Rene Salinas]

Just as I was embracing myself for another dose of flash fiction! You throw this curve at ball me. It took me about five words for one of my idols in the writer world to be summoned. Jack Kerouac was probably known for the all the bad reasons , he also received a lot of criticism in his time, not the healthy kind either but apparently he cared very little as most of them had good solid pharmacological foundations if you know what I mean. Something that he always went on which I don't think it was received with welcomed arms was the expression "Something that you feel will find its own form." "The unspeakable visions of the individual" "Telling the true story of the world in interior monolog. " but most notoriously and something that this writing reflects in great amounts "Write for the world to read and see yourr exact pictures of it. " this to me came out humble and intimate.

Dare I say more spontaneous?

Thank you.

[Trevor]

Great little story about moving on past tragedy. Love the visual with makeup.

[Jennesis]

I feel like I was there with you in the church. I could feel the desperation in the prayer. I thought it was great. And it kept my attention the whole time. Nice job Riley.

[RileyRedding]

Thank you, your feedback is very much appreciated.
As always, I do hope you'll keep reading.