Write this in the Sand

In 5.4 billion years the sun will exhaust its hydrogen.

This will be earths curtain call.

Even before the sun becomes a red giant, the earth will be hotter than Venus.

That is, if we make it that long.

After all we're a walking talking, mass extinction event.

This is what I think about while I'm breaking her heart.

While I'm listening to her tell me how she'd rather argue with me than agree with anyone else.

While I'm finding the words to tell her how I've already made my decision.

Finding the words to tell her I've found nothing, but plentiful pain, and pitiful pleasure in trying to own her.

She's asking me what happened to forever.

And I'm telling her that just like Prozac. Forever has a half-life.

I can tell from the look in her eyes, that she's never going to accept my resignation.

So I lock myself in the bathroom.

Loving someone means protecting them. Even if that means from yourself.

So I down a bottle of Drano. Chase it with a couple shots of furniture polish. And for dessert?

You guessed it, Lemon Clorox.

All compliments of my bathroom sink bar-cart.

By the time she's convinced the neighbor to kick the door down.

The life is already leaving my eyes.

"So much for forever". She says.

"Forever's a long time."

Author's Note

Ignore Grammar.

Reviews

[Rene Salinas]

The concepts on your writings Riley are so strong at he risk of becoming overwhelming in that anything else gets obliterated by the structure itself. Though a narrative of sorts you don't seem to need developments of characters, you don't seem to rely on overpunctuation to denote a lyrical sonata. In fact in not many lines a dimension has just gone through at the speed of thought. From th factual statement of the longevity of our planet to the fragility of human relationships and the devastating effect that they could have upon our mental sanity. In the world of emotion that is like a googleplex of intensities yet amongst all the underlaying heavyness there also seems to be a fresh does of humour which makes me smile nervously as if I'm not sure I should be smiling at all.

As I have read a few of your wrtings I'm just getting warmed up here hoping for the next one to come I will smile sooner.

Thankyou

[RileyRedding]

That just might be the sweetest thing anyone on here has ever said to me.

[Rene Salinas]

Oh my! Stickly sweet? That would be the first time someone says that to me... The irony would not be a coincidence?

[Daniel Towers]

I'm a mystic in heart and mind and believe in a parallel internal/external reality where the life and death of an individual may coincide with the the life and death of a civilization, planet, star or even an entire universe. You seem to be tapping into the secrets of space and time. Bravo. And thank you.

[Jamie]

I agree with Rene! Loved it!

[ANTO]

Damn this is powerful - and so sad.
very affecting Riley.

[Sophy Freebirds]

Your writing deals with facts.. i have seen a few writers except Hawkings to write in such a way.But the amalgation of science and emotion is something i am looking forward to savour.. Half -life usage of that term in this way... (very clever)... Forever is indeed a long time mate!! :p :)... *keep writing* God bless you

~Sophy

[Sadashivan Nair]

Realy full of wisdom. It's the sun burns self to raise us.

[AK]

A powerful piece. I really admire the comparisons used- the solar system to a human relationship and the theme of the complexity and passage of time.
"Forever has a half-life"- so beautifully penned.
A thought provoking story that lingers in the mind, enjoyed it thoroughly!

[Charleen Langley]

Wow. This is pretty deep. She refuses to let him go, and he commits suicide so she doesn't have to. She would have no other choice than to move on since he's gone. It also points out our planet's plight which is good.

[Jamie]

Thus tears at my heart. I relate. This is a desperate piece and it wrenched at my emotions. Very well written. I have also written some similar pieces. Check them out? Fabulously constructed, short and to the point, full of raw emotion. Well done.

[SEO]

The last line is such a powerful way to end this. I love short, simplistic sentences that carry so much weight. I also really like how you start with the narrator thinking about the world ending, so realistic. You're characters' interiority is always very real

[Confuser]

It reads like the style of poetic prose, the pronouns, no names, little description and I love it. The humor is there, and I do like facts of life in writings of stories; my first story I took down, because, was so confused so say whether it was fiction. I am so much a novice; by the way, your story answered my question and I will revisit it and polish it up. You say so much in so few words; I am learning so much from you; I did begin rewriting a Miser series, but, I much better like prose; something I do not see here often at all; and if it is, it is always listed as a story. You have much talent. Thank you again.

[Limitality]

This breaks my heart, the emotion behind the piece is so powerful. You are truly gifted, thanks for sharing

[Tina Kline]

This is a very powerful piece of writing. Very compelling and it really drew me in. What tragedy but so much of life seems to be tragedy with little bits of happiness in between. Splendid and impressive.