Party Creatures

A short story of a party gone wrong.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Party Creatures

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

By R. Tulang

I

 

 

 

 

 

“Don’t touch that Jeff . . . you’ll ruin it sooner or later,” said Liza, Jeff's girlfriend. Jeff let out a grunt and let go of the cold cuts that was prepared on a big rounded plastic plate. He was trying to rearrange the placements on the plate, but Liza saw him and made her ruling. It was her aesthetic taste that was on the line, so she did not want Jeff to mess her finished work.

 

“Oh Jeff . . . that would not be a good location for that thing, leave it where it is.” Again, Liza was objecting to Jeff’s repositioning of the long table that would serve as a mini bar.

 

“Wait a minute. Wait a minute, Liza. I’m quite puzzled. Whose party is it?” Liza’s eyebrows met upon hearing what Jeff had uttered.

 

“It’s yours,” said Liza deadpanned.

 

“It’s mine, so I should be the one deciding . . .” said Jeff, emphasizing what he just said by spreading both arms sideways like a basketball player showing exasperation on the call against him by the referee.

 

“The only reason I’m here is because I want to be of help and assist you in setting up this stupid idea of yours.” After saying the words, Liza laid down the plastic cups that she was lining on the round metal tray, went to grab her purse sitting on a chair, pulled a paper towel from a plastic wrapper then dragged her feet towards the door saying nothing.

 

“Hey! hey! Liza wait! I didn’t mean to . . .” said Jeff while going after his girl who was already on the door’s threshold. “Don’t be like an onion skin, Liza.” But Liza would have none of it and continued to leave the place in a huff.

 

After Liza was gone, Jeff sunk on a chair with his crossed fingers on top of his head like a heedless, lethargic monkey perched atop a rock. After coming to terms with the situation, Jeff picked the phone out from his pocket and called his Cousin Danny.

 

“Cousin, do you have free t_”

 

“What do you mean free? Free money? Is that what you mean? Since when did money chooses to have a stint in my pocket?”

 

“Cousin, I’m not jo_”

 

“I’m not joking either. I have no money if you’re asking for a loan.”

 

“It’s not about money!” Jeff was almost shouting on the phone to stop his cousin in his blabber.

 

“Ok, calm down cousin. Why the call? What is it?”

 

“I want you to help me set my place for a party.”

 

“A party!” said Danny. Jeff had to distance the phone away from his ear lest it would burst his eardrum. “What has got into you cousin!” Danny was still excitedly booming his voice. “Since the day you were born I have already known parties are not for you.”

 

“Shut up and listen,” Jeff said, trying to figure out what to say to stop his cousin from his clowning around. “If you want to help me, come right away.”

 

“And if not?” countered Danny.

 

“Then go and jump into the lake!”

 

“Okay, okay, calm down don’t be hot on the collar. I’ll be right there.”

 

“Not in the house.”

 

“What? then where?”

 

“At grandpa’s barn.”

 

“What!” It was the second time Jeff had to remove his phone near his ear. “A party inside a barn! Are you crazy!”

 

“It would be a one in a lifetime experience, or a unique experience, or an out of this world experience. Pick the way you want to describe it, cousin, but my party would be the talk of town for years to come”.

 

“You’re really a nut case!”

 

“My load is only for a three-minute call so I’m hanging up. Come quick.” With that, Jeff’s call was ended.

 

 

 

 

 

 

II

 

 

 

 

 

Jeff’s problem was temporarily solved. With high spirit he went around the barn rearranging everything to get more space.

 

The barn was what it was intended to be when it was constructed by his grandfather. From a barn, it evolved into a grain granary after the old man sold his cows and goats and some work animals. In the late years of his life after his wife went six feet under, and when he felt death beaconing him, he’s grandfather decided to convert it into a chicken coop to lighten his work load. To the present day, the barn and the small lot where it stood is still for sale. Buyers won’t have it unless the surrounding rice fields are also lump in the sale. So Jeff’s father, who got the barn as part of his inheritance after his father died, lent it gratis to one of his farmer friends to use it as a chicken coop instead of being idled and left to rot.

 

The whole barn was only sparingly utilized by the farmer. The end half was where the wicker baskets that served as laying nests were hung and lined three tiers on both sides of the barn’s wooden walls and in the end center wall. The first tier was a meter above the ground to bypass the lower part of the wall which bore several significant jagged holes. It was the vacant front area of the barn that Jeff was planning to use as his party’s space.

 

“What went into your head planning this idiotic idea?” said Danny after he saw the place. “A party in a chicken coop?” His hilarious laughter followed his comment.

 

“What’s wrong with that?” Jeff said with a frown.

 

“Yeah, I know you don’t see any wrong with it. The problem is, in the eyes of a normal person this whole idea is abnormal."

 

“Ow, cousin, the proselytization of your normality won’t convert me.

 

“If you did not call me to ask for help I won’t even know that you’re hosting a party. What kind of a cousin are you, not inviting me?” Danny said, feigning offended for not getting a word of invitation from his cousin.

 

“I plan to call you when it starts but was distracted so . . .”

 

“Apology accepted.” Danny said. “And by the way why don’t you ask your haughty girlfriend to come and give us a hand here.”

 

“She had already done her share,” replied Jeff. “All the preparations that you’re seeing now were done by her.”

 

“So, where is she?” asked Danny.

 

“Went home,” said Jeff and did not elaborate any further.

 

“So, you sent her home and replace me with her, nice for you to do that.” Danny said with annoyance showing in him. “After this you have to pay me for my labor.”

 

“Shoot, that won’t be a problem. I’ll pay you but you won’t be attending my party either.”

 

“What? That’s unfair! I help you set it!”

 

“You can’t have your cake and eat it too, cousin.”

 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Danny asked.

 

“I pay your services then I have the right not to invite you,” Jeff retorted. "Your free labor is your ticket to a free drink, free food and a free dance. Is that simple.”

 

“Okay, okay, I get it.”

 

“So for starters check the power lines where the karaoke machine will be plug-in," ordered Jeff.

 

“Karaoke machine? So there’s singing.”

 

“No, we’ll use the music machine to serve as the party’s disk jockey; and yes, there will be singing after the dance.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

III

 

 

 

 

 

Jeff went on to redo the setup of everything that his girlfriend Liza had painstakingly worked out. When his girl finds out that the new arrangement is a space saver then his proud girl will surely understand why he did it. He moved the rectangle table near the side wall to cover one of the jagged wall holes. The table already contained some of the cold foods that were wrapped in aluminum foil. Some space was saved for the remaining munchies that were still to be picked up from Jeff’s parent’s house 50 meters away. The two put up extension lines to accommodate the extra bulbs that would be added to make the place brightly lighted to offset the wasted illuminations that would be absorbed by the non-reflecting dark wooden walls.

 

It was already dark when the two finally put the finishing touches on their work. All were set up the way Jeff wanted it to be.

 

“Did you bring some extra clothes with you?” asked Jeff when Danny joined him on the bench after putting down the last food pack and the big jug that contained the mixed punch after he picked it up from Jeff’s parents house.

 

“Of course,” said his cousin, “I came well prepared. Do you expect me to make my changing at home?”

 

“There’s a water pump on the far side you can wash yourself there.”

 

“Yeah, I saw that thing. Is its water safe enough to drink?”

 

“Don’t take your chances. We have enough drinking water so why do that,” Jess said.

 

“Just asking,” Danny answered.

 

Liza arrived when Danny was in the pump taking his bath. “Glad you’re here,” said Jeff as he lovingly wrapped his hand around his girlfriend’s waist. “Come look inside.”

 

“Not bad,” said Liza, as her eyes panned the inside of the barn. It seemed to Jeff he was already forgiven for his girl never showed any hint of resentment. ”You’re right, it looks less crowded. Wait. . . Was that Danny’s bike outside?”

 

 “Yes, I called him to help out,” answered Jeff

 

“How many have you invited?” inquired Liza.

 

 “Sixteen, plus the three of us, that makes 19. It will be more fun if they all come," said Jeff. “Did you invite Mila?”

 

“Yes, but she declined to come when she learned Danny’s attending," answered Liza.

 

 “Why are those two hate each other so much? Why do exes can't stand each other nowadays."

 

“They have many differences that came to light when they broke up so perhaps that’s the reason," retorted Jeff.

 

“Hope it won’t happen to us,” Liza uttered.

 

“That would happen only when dinosaurs reemerged on the surface of the earth again,” said Jeff with a broad smile on his face. Liza gave out a hilarious laughter and went to plant a light kiss on her boyfriend’s lips.

 

First batch of party goers started arriving a while later and then followed by the succeeding groups. They came in trickles until the group was complete after Danny finished counting them. The loud blaring of fast music had been going on since the first batch of party goers arrived. Every arrival would go directly to the music machine and punched a button to select a song to be crooned. While others sang, others danced. That was how the party started.

 

One of the boys secretly handed Danny a bottle of gin and the two of them conspired to lace another separate plastic pitcher of punch. “What are you doing?” Jeff discreetly confronted the two when he sensed they were up to something.

 

“No worries cousin, this is only for the boys,” Danny assured him.

 

“We’re all minors here. That would be against the law,” Jeff was persistent in his objection.

 

“We’re not violating the law, we are only bending it. We’re drinking punch not gin.”

 

 “Yeah sure, smart aleck,” Jeff said in exasperation. On the whole, Jeff was satisfied on the progress of the party. He was not prepared for any problem cropping up and was expecting none.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

IV

 

 

 

 

 

Danny went answering the call of nature on the far side of the barn when a silhouette of something large near the barn’s wall caught his attention. He was tipsy and the lid on his eyes were becoming heavier, but after a while he managed to concentrate on the object after his eyes had become accustomed to the dark. He came to recognize a big animal with a horn with the front of its head partly inserted through one of the sidewall's big holes. It was munching on something from the makeshift pantry table. It turned out it was a bull goat looking for a late night snack and was lucky to find one. I thought goats are blind at night said Danny to himself. Danny approached the animal to see what it was nibbling, but before he could do so another male goat with a long horn that came from nowhere went past him, went charging the other animal, and hit hard the head of the first bull with its horn. The first goat recovered quickly from the sneak attack and faced big horn and a duel ensued. Horns were locked in ferocious fight. The munching goat was pushed and thrown violently inside the barn through the hole, and with it a couple of a dozen pieces of splintered wood chunks that came from the old wood board of the wall that was made brittle by the elements through the years.

 

The singing stopped. The dancing stopped. The eating stopped. The drinking stopped. All activities practically stopped when the second bull looking for a kill gave chase to its nemesis and both continued the fight inside.

 

All hell broke loose.

 

The girls were first to scamper towards the door shrieking in panic, while the boys, being boys regrouped in their initial surprise and disarray, and formed a line at a safe distance to watch the spectacle on the sideline. There was a spontaneous cacophony of cheering boys' voices. “Ola! Ola! Give him the stick! Stuck it hard! Gore him in the balls! Kick him in the a*s! Clip his horn! Go for the jugular!” cried the boys. It was not clear which of the two animals they were rooting for both bulls were not quite distinguishable from each other.

 

"Lo Dies! Lo Dies!” Still another one said mimicking the betting scene inside a c**k fighting arena that was always featured in the local action movies. If either of the bull scored a hit, the throngs would erupt in boisterous exultation. Boys pushing, shouting, booing, cheering, clapping, jeering, feet stumping, fist raising, were all part of the rowdy display. It put to shame a gallery scene on a football world championship match.

 

The girls full of curiosity and envious of not being part of the action returned inside the barn to form a second tier behind the boys and joined the ruckus. The wild chorus of the multitude egging the two animals was more pronounce than ever. In one corner of the barn, Jeff was agonizing on what was happening to his party. He was aghast at the destruction and the chaos the two animals brought to the place. The place was like the ground zero of conflict. Benches and chairs and tables were turned over and scattered all around. Metal trays, plastic cups and paper plates and everything that were placed on the pantry and bar tables were scattered all over. The foods had all kissed the dirt on the ground, and so did the remaining bottles and glasses of drinks that were also emptied on the dirt floor.

 

If Jeff had his way, he would join in the duel and exact revenge on the beasts. On his sobering side he was thinking of getting the help of the boys in getting the animals to be thrown outside, but he doubted if they would have the courage to confront the bulls for the beasts were too big to handle. Jeff wanted a soft embrace of a human hand and a comforting solace and went to look for Liza. He got what he wished when arms embraced him from behind. It was Liza. She was feeling what he was feeling. Liza fully understood the whole thing was a disaster. Then an emotional moment happened; Jeff turned around, embrace her, then quietly sob on her girl friend’s shoulder.

 

The goddess of chaos was still not satisfied to the outcome of her creation so she unleashed another round of convulsion and turmoil. Disturbed in its resting nest by the rampaging duel of the bulls, one hen being so much disgusted by the tumult and the boisterous rackets created around its blissful abode, left its nest crackling and flew overhead and landed on the rafters. There it unleashed its endless crackling fulminations. Hearing it, the bunch of indignant mother hens announced that they too were also fed up with the nonsense going around so they stood on the mouths of their nests and went spewing their own crackling curses that were added to the vocal discord. When the dueling bulls struck the wall where the nests were hanging, the inevitable happened. The startled fowls took off and flew in every direction colliding with some of their brethren in mid-air. Some landed on the heads of the noisy boys. One struck hard a hanging light bulb which fortunately did not burst or explode, thus saving the lucky hen from being roosted and transformed into a fried chicken. Another took a long distance rear-to-front flight that astonished everyone. "That mama has sure lots of adrenaline in her," said a boy.

 

Hearing it, Danny raised a question aloud, "Chickens have adrenaline? Hm, that's weird?" Other hens landed on the ground in hard drop, and quickly recovered from their fall, then went running fast like the cartoon comic Road Runner chasing Bugs Bunny; but in this scenario the hens were running like their tails were on fire. This stupefied Danny. I thought chickens can’t see at night, he mumbled. One boy was so afraid of flying chickens--imagining them as flying dinosaurs--that he nearly fainted when one flew over his head.

 

If one flew over a coop's nest, expect the unexpected. This time they did not fly; they charge in and ransack!

 

The one that concerned Danny most was the safety of the karaoke, so he valiantly saved it from being damaged by the goats and the fowls.

 

“What are you smiling at?” asked Liza on the grinning Danny when the three of them were lying flat on their backs on the towel-covered ground. She was in between the two cousins. The three of them were enjoying the night view of the stars overhead. This was after the party guests were gone. The two goats tired of fighting were gone too. And the panicky chickens roosting on trees went silent.

 

“Jeff got his wish. His party will be remembered in years to come.” said Danny as he looked at the sleeping Jeff

 

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