The Break-In

Short Story Please Post A Review

 Cody woke to the piercing sound of his mother's screams. He hurried down the stairs to his mother's room and saw that she was also violently shaking. He managed to calm her down. This was a normal thing for Cody and his family. Ms. Hall had been diagnosed with slowly losing her sanity. She had been a Mrs. once, but Cody's father had left them a long, long time ago. But Cody managed to take care of his mom and his siblings mostly all by himself.

    Once Ms. Hall had fallen asleep, he quietly tip-toed to the door. Before exiting the room, he gave his mother one last glance. He couldn't see her eyes at the moment, but he always remembered those kind, warm hazel brown eyes. But now, they were always filled with fear and despair. He walked out of her room and let out a long sigh. It always set pain to his heart when he saw his mother like that.

    Cody could see the kitchen clock ticking away from where he was standing and saw he still had an hour to kill before he had to get ready for school. He decided he'd go back to sleep after he'd gotten himself a glass of water. So he walked into the kitchen. He saw the kitchen sink piling up with a mountain of dirty dishes. He promised himself he'd do the dishes once he got home from work. He grabbed a cup, filled it with water, and before drinking it, saw the distorted image of himself in the water. He had dark green eyes, the same ones his father had, and a mess of light brown hair that always tilted to the side. He wasn't in the best shape, but he could last quite a bit in a fight if he had to. He drank a couple of glasses until his thirst was quenched. He started up the stairs when he heard a small creak come from the entrance door. He quickly snatched a knife, just in case, and quietly went over to investigate.

"Who's there?!" Cody shouted into the hallway, clutching the kitchen knife with his right hand. He felt stupid as he said it.

    Cody approached the entrance door, and his heart skipped a beat. The door was slightly opened. He convinced himself there was nothing to worry about, that the door was probably left open by his brother or sister. He shut the door and locked it. He lessened the grip on the knife and walked into the kitchen. He was surprised to see both his sister and brother awake and sitting on the kitchen counter.

"Can you make us pancakes?" asked his 9 year old brother, Frankie.

"What's with the knife?" asked his 11 year old sister, Cindy, pointing.

"Sure thing," Cody responded to Frankie's question. "And I killed somebody. Their body is in the the fridge," he said sarcastically, facing his little sister.

The color drained from their faces.

"Guys, I'm kidding!" Cody laughed. " You should've seen your faces!"

"I... don't think you killed him right," said Frankie, pointing to something behind Cody.

"What are you talking ab-," Cody said as he spun around and he saw a man standing only a couple of feet away from him.

D-d- dad?, Cody thought. No it can't be. He rid his head of the idea. But the resemblance between his father and the man were uncanny.

    The man had long thin strands of dark brown hair that covered his face, but beneath it, Cody could see the same dark green eyes. The rest of his hair was also long but it was very frizzy and it almost looked like touching it would prick your hand. The man was extremely skinny, and had very pale skin. Cody thought he could see through his skin, onto his bones. The man wore a red Hawaiian shirt that was almost rid of its color and beige pants.

Cody held a steady grip on the knife handle and pointed it at the man. He tried not to tremble with fear.

"What are you doing here!?," Cody shouted at the stranger. "Just get out!"

    The stranger simply grinned and tilted his head. This sent a long shiver down Cody's spine. Cody spread his right arm, trying to push the kids back. He told them they'd be alright.

    Suddenly, the stranger lunged himself at Cody. This surprised Cody and both of them tumbled to the kitchen floor. They wrestled for the knife.

"Cindy, grab Frankie and get out of here!," Cody shouted at Cindy as he wrestled with the stranger.

"Where do we go?" Cindy's voice trembled with fear.

"Anywhere! Just get out of here!" Cody screamed.

    As Cindy and Frankie almost left the house, the stranger just smashed Cody's head into the kitchen floor, thus giving himself time to turn his attention to the children. The stranger managed to grab hold of Cindy's hair and she screamed with fear. This gave Cody the energy to stand up again.

"Let go of her, you maniac!" Cody shouted at the stranger.

    The stranger finally spoke and simply said, "No," in a scruffy and scratchy voice that only brought fear to Cody. The stranger grabbed a nearby vase, broke it and grabbed a long, sharp shard.

    Cody aimed precisely and threw the knife with all his strength. The knife cut all the strands of Cindy's hair that the stranger was holding onto.

"Go!" Cody shouted.

Cindy bolted out the door, grabbed her brother by the arm, and together they ran off.

    The stranger furiously looked at Cody. But then he grinned. The stranger grabbed the knife that Cody had thrown. Cody was left defenseless. The stranger threw himself at Cody and got on top him. Cody wasn't able to get up. He was tired and out of energy. The stranger readied his knife up in the air. So Cody just closed his eyes and waited to die.

     Suddenly, Cody heard an unearthly scream as he felt the man fall to his side and a loud thump. He opened his eyes and tilted his head to see what had happened. He caught sight of the kitchen clock close to the man's head. Someone had thrown the kitchen clock at the man's head. The man had dropped the knife and was groaning from pain. He suddenly saw his mother get on top of the man and she snatched the kitchen knife from the floor. He saw his mother stab the man multiple times in the most gruesome ways. He could hear the pitiful screams of the stranger as he was stabbed to the death. During all this time, Ms. Hall had been screaming,

"Don't hurt my babies!" Over and over until she had trailed off.

    Ms. Hall took one last dramatic stab as if implying this was the blow that had killed the man, although he had died a couple of minutes earlier. She finally started sobbing.

    Cody tried standing up to comfort her but couldn't. His body was just too exhausted. He could start to hear police sirens in the distance. Maybe Cindy and Frankie had gotten to the police. Cody could feel his body shutting down. He passed out to the sound of police sirens and his mother's cries.

Author's Note

This is an original story created by me.

This story was written 1 year ago, and I was really proud how it had come out when I had finished it. You can interpret the intruder to be Cody's father or not, it's your choice.

Read and Critique

Hope You Enjoy!

Reviews

[Heather]

I really enjoyed this, it was straight to the point and left me captivated throughout! I would just think about considering changing it from "he had died a couple of minutes earlier" to perhaps "a couple of moments earlier" as in that moment, seconds would drag on for what seems like forever, meaning minutes would be a long time. Unless, of course, you intend to get across that she really has gone crazy and has been stabbing him for that long. This was a good read, you should be proud!

[Right Hand]

Thank you for taking your time to write a review, and for even reading my story! I'm glad you enjoyed it as much as you did! I thought about changing it to moments earlier, but I think I'll leave it how it is, as I want the mother to come off as insane.

[Heather]

No worries! I just wasn't sure how you wanted it to come across, glad to have cleared that up!! I look forward to seeing more of your work!