Fairy Tale Mix Up

First post. Project I had done back in high school creative writing class to merge fairy tales together from a singular viewpoint. Was rushed but here it is regardless, Ill expand on it eventually =)

There was this guy. In tights. Green tights. He flew around. Kinda like a fairy. The tights didn't really help the matter either. Regardless he pranced around town in the sky all fairy-like. One day during his fairy prancing he spotted a girl. In red. A red hood actually. She had a basket. A pretty big basket about the size of herself and she was hauling it down the path in the woods like Xena or something. Now the prancing fairy saw a huge wolf down the road ready to scarf that little girl in red. Fairy prancer didn't know what to do. I mean, he had green tights on. Out of absolutely nowhere a big fat black bear flew out of the bushes and ate the wolf. Two others in the distance clapped their claws together. Then some chick with golden locks popped out from behind a tree and smacks the girl in red, knocking her unconscious. Goldie grabs the basket and takes off down the path like a little chicken.  All of the wild sudden three pigs pop out of the basket and attain Jiu Jitsu stances.  Goldie not knowing what was going on, takes off in the other direction.  Prancing fairy is still up in the sky, taking the whole scenario in. He and his green tights. He then sees Goldie smack into a beanstalk, which mysteriously appeared out of nowhere.  After 20 seconds of unconsciousness she gets up and climbs the beanstalk.  The three bears take off after her screaming obscenities about porridge.  Out of the house that wasn't there a minute ago flew two of the ugliest women in all creation.  I mean even some beast that lived in the castle up the road started vomiting over the balcony.  In the process he dropped his mirror over the side of the castle.  Either out of sheer stupidity or immediate reaction, he swan dives over the side after it, landing in the ocean below.  Then the two horrid women started fighting over some tiny glass shoe.  Prancing fairy had no idea that there were actually glass shoes made anywhere.  Ever.  What if it broke? Isn't that a hazard?  He thought about this for a moment.  Then a tiny little woman comes out and nonchalantly slips on the glass shoe.  She shows it off to the two ugly women.  

"It's only because your a midget!" They scream and proceed to fly tackle her breaking the precious little glass shoe in the process.  Shards fly everywhere cutting the two ugly women and the smaller one too.  They all die from a loss of blood.  Then seven little men come marching from the woods and pick up the little dead midget lady, placing her on a large rock.  Some prince comes up on a white horse and then jumps down next to the midget.  He picks her up somehow not noticing she's dead and takes her away.  The seven little men go berserk and run after him, yelling out that she's dead.  They disappear into the trees.  The house that was there was now made of candy.  Prancing fairy loves candy.  So he flies down to the house and goes to reach for a candy cane but gets whipped in the face by a lady with a 20 foot braid of hair. 

"Your wearing tights" the girl says. Prancing fairy nods. 

"And they're green." Prancing fairy nods again.  

"Ok then" She grabs his shirt and pulls him into the house. There are two kids tied to a pole in the middle of the room. 

"So we can escape like this. I'll distract the witch while you crawl out of the window using my ridiculously long hair." Now prancing fairy thought to himself that he may wear green tights, but he's not that stupid. 

"What are you waiting for? Escape!" The girl yells. 

"I was already outside! I was doing perfectly fine where I was! You dragged me in here and then tell me to escape? What's the matter with all you people?!"

"Well," she whispers "we all just got out of Claymore...you know, the institute?"