QUIVER

I awoke to you not being here. Had to close my eyes and rub them. Just to make sure I was seeing clear.

Thought the fight we had. Was just a pointless disagreement. This time I bet you’re proud. To have finally reached these grounds. Wow what an achievement.

I knew this time was coming. The words you would speak. Got me thinking here it comes. The facts, they had me beat.

No more taking a blind eye. No more room left to deny. It was true this relationship. Was soon to die.

Our time we shared was with many ups and downs. Don’t get confused. I would never change any of it. I’d rather start singing the blues. Instead to shoot for higher grounds.

Now here I am. In this big old house all alone. Makes me feel. A shiver go up my spine. Just can’t get warm. So cold I quiver. Quiver shake and squirm.

Never will I take the credit. For making it end this way. Nope. That’s right so never forget it. Not even for a day.

Reviews

[BlackPrince]

I do understand that you have your own writing style, but you, if you want to take your writing more seriously, need to pay attention to proper grammar and vocabulary, especially the way you use punctuation like commas, full stops, question marks...

Example: 'It was true this relationship. Was soon to die.'

The above should have been a full complete sentence: 'It was true this relationship was soon to die.'

Or: 'It was true this relationship; it was soon to die.'

By being aware and applying the proper punctuation, you allow greater clarity for your readers' understanding of your core message or subject matter.

I hope you understand and don't feel patronised or offended. We are here on Writers Cafe to learn from each other. If I flatter you only, how am I helping you grow as a writer?

[Tara Marie]

Best believe, no offense was taken. I appreciate ur honesty and critique of my writing. Thank you for the insight. I will look into taking a class. To learn correct punctuation and grammar. ☺️ Big smiles!!

[Coyote Poetry]

You are right my friend. We do decide our endings and beginnings. You led the reader to the logical ending. Thank you for sharing the amazing poetry and your thoughts Tara.
Coyote

[Tara Marie]

Thx dear friend for your review. Hope all is and has been well with you and your family. Take care

[wordman]

i guess nothing stays the same

[Tara Marie]

Thx for your review! Hope all is well with you. take care...until next time my friend

[wordman]

you`re welcome and thanks