Suicidal Thoughts

I'm not promoting suicide but it exists. I wrote this when i was a dumb teen make it to 25 before you decide.

Ignorance and bliss written on each of my wrists

A choice to make

which one to pick

Suicide seen in two different shadows

a shortcut to peace 

a mistake In battle

If blood flows from ignorance

my death would make no difference

just a name on a grave

another hell bound idiot

with two sides to each story

now from bliss bloods pouring

I have found the courage that In life did avoid me

I've made my first and final mistake for something important.

Me.

Reviews

[Stefano Segnan]

Quite and improvement, structurally speaking. Just two small things: that single verse lingering between the third and the last stanza ("with two sides to each story") doesn't seem to fit there, personally speaking. It seems more connected with the thoughts and ideas coming from the first and second stanzas.
The second thing, that first verse in the last stanza is quite "elusive", perhaps? With this, I do not mean it's a bad thing, I like it as it is and I wouldn't change it, for I also tend to write like this. It's just a general warning.
That aside, the idea you present is quite interesting. It's good to see someone ponder on these things (I never did) and present an intriguing dichotomy. Great work!

[richy]

Thank you for the wisdom i will once again reconsider the structure I have presented. Your opinion is highly appreciated. Thanks for reading!

[Stefano Segnan]

Not wisdom, it's just personal opinion. Do not change it because I think it doesn't fit; change it if after what I told you, you get the feeling that it isn't right. You know, use my words as mere pointers, but fallow your feelings

[Ruth]

Two sides...fascinating and a worthy and wise poem...I felt this and resonate...thank you for such a piece of wisdom :)

[M. L. F.]

My father lost his battle with depression at his own hands, on his third attempt. I was 19 at the time, and I hope that writing about this feeling you have helps you feel better. It is very brave of you to speak out this way about your innermost feelings. I thought the poem was sad but beautiful and powerfully stated. Thank you for sharing with us...

[richy]

Helping you would make this poem more purposeful than anything It could do for me. This In an Unbiased view on suicide. Thanks for reading.

[barleygirl]

Love this poem! Wow! This is the best thing I've seen written on the topic of suicide. I like the distinct lack of drama, but rather, an even-handed explanation of how it can feel, & how much ambivalence is involved. Having been suicidal most of my life & also having volunteered on the suicide hot line for 2 years, I can say, this is a very thoughtful piece written with much imagery & truth. Thanks for putting your heart out on the line for us.

[Carolynn]

This is crazy good richy - what a fantastic way to represent two different views and yet at the end to realize the most important thing is Me! I agree with your comment about the age - things tend to look very different (for most) when they get to be in their mid twenties - great advice!

[B J Hughes]

Now this is very interesting, something I've not seen until now. The two sides of suicide in one writing! And the transition "with two sides to each story" would have been so easy to overlook and omit, but you didn't and it anchored this poem well.

[Érenn]

two(intended) make a point like this the way you did, loved the nuances, the dark tone, those feelings feeding on your soul. Yeah i definitely see that. It's well written. But to also realize, that makes all the difference.

[Diamond Dunbar]

All I want to say is thank you, thank you, thank you.