An Unkindness of Ravens

Wrote this one about the haunting memories of a tragic past.

Dark shadows in flight in the clouds,
my rainbow turns black and white.
an emptiness in my soul,
my heart turns prey.

I ask you not for remedy,
i'll find it in a melody,
i need not your melancholic emotion,
i am my problem and my solution.

It's like walking on sea with a bottle of sand,
cry me river, send me a magic wand,
but the shadows do not relent,
they take pleasure in my torment.

Your love might crush or save me,
but not rewrite my history,
can't you see, won't you understand,
sometimes my past comes faster than the future.

An unkindness of ravens,
an unkindness of a thousand,
a puzzle to solve and an enigma to uncover.
moments when i stare hard at the shadows in flight,
i could see my rainbow on the other side getting its colours right.

Reviews

[Gabrielle Linch]

My absolute favorite line is, "I am my problem and my solution." It remembers me of someone struggling with self-hate, because they are the ones bringing themselves down, so therefore they are their own problem. But they can also be the solution if they remind themselves that the are worth so much more than they think they are. Over all, I love this poem for it's dark and mysterious sense to it.

[Passengerr]

Thank you!

[sereenaoutloud]

So true you cannot erase the past and no one can rewrite it for you . You have to face you demons and learn from them so you can move on !
This is such raw write and worded so beautifully! It flows really well too. Love it!

[Passengerr]

Thank you Sereen.. learning from mistakes is always a good choice.. glad you like it..

[iobiageli]

The fourth paragraph... #loveit!
"Your love might crush or save me,
but not rewrite my history,
can't you see, won't you understand,
sometimes my past comes faster than the future."

This is an amazing piece. The word harmony, beautiful!

[Passengerr]

thank you iobiageli. #love that smile.

[Etta Beasley]

You have a beautiful expression of words. & the ending is perfect. I loved it :)

[Passengerr]

Thanks Etta. glad you think so.

[Haley Wilson]

I like how you started out with a somber tone and ended with a brighter conclusion. I believe that always leaves good food for thought to the readers, and that it promises things do get better in the end. Nice job!

[Passengerr]

thank you.

[Destiny Dreamer]

"I ask you not for remedy,
i'll find it in a melody, "
Amazing work My friend! Truly enjoyed it... :)

[Passengerr]

O.k, thank you.

[J.S. Kloss]

So tragic and beautiful! Great work! Some parts almost sounded like a song when I was reading them in my head.

[Passengerr]

Did it really?:-). thank you, glad you like it.

[sinNsincerity]

Nicely written man!
At least you acknowledge that there is light on the other side...

[Passengerr]

thanks for reading Sin. I certainly do.

[613]

The title reminds me of the show "One Tree Hill" - Lucas wrote something with the title, "An Unkindness of Ravens."

This poem was well written. I enjoyed it.

- Brittney

[Passengerr]

Thank you Brittney, glad you enjoyed it. Haha, yes the thought of 'one tree hill' did cross my mind more than once.

[613]

Haha. Well I really enjoyed everything about this.