Incognito

The harsh, cold, bitterness from the tree
The tall shadow that darkens the path to enlightenment,

Yet still we thrive in its weary wallows and dark realms as if it were the light we seek,

it is hunger, yet filled

Thirst, yet Quenched

the light is extinguished as she walks out leaving only the hard wood

swinging forward to close the gap 

Reviews

[Trigorin]

You have a good concept, but your word choice is a little stilted, and the general feel of this is that you're trying just a little too hard to be deep and it comes across as a little sophomoric. This is a good start, but there's a bit of polishing to be done.