g i r l ⁓ (coming of age)

Quatrains in 8-count and abcb rhymes.

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g i r l ~

Flows slowly smooth, cool crystal rills,

chaste wonders form a young girl's truth.

Ripples dancing, sun’s spark’ling glints …

pure, pristine, clear ~ sweet thoughts of youth.

Smooth as satin, her innocence,

through eyes that tenderness conveys.

Touch, quaint as a butterfly’s brush …

gentle kindness, these are her ways.

Mild, her voice, soft as duckling down,

with touches warm as Summer’s breeze.

Such laughter soothes the rugged soul,

her presence sets grieved minds at ease.

The way she moves lacks rush or force,

her sighs, a symphony of bliss …

wide-eyed, she knows of naught but love;

a boy, she’s yet to taste his kiss.

The heart, it melts to watch her play …

every motion of graceful limbs

portrays the flow of Nature’s streams,

so mindful of rosebuds' long stems.

One day a song will touch her heart;

a magic melody will swirl,

every starlight become a wink …

then, she’ll no longer be a girl.

Richard W. Jenkins

   © 12 Oct, 2023

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Author's Note

Picture courtesy Wikimedia Commons.

All knowledgeable critique you believe will better this piece is welcome. ✍

Reviews

[Dave]

My goodness, Richard! You painted such a wonderful picture of the maturing young girl. I have two daughters and can remember all too well the significant changes that happened in their lives. Thankfully they were for the good. Thanks for the reawakening.
Take care - Dave

[Richard🖌]

Thank you, Dave,

For sharing a bit of your own life, for relating so vividly with this warm-hearted poem, and for the inspiring compliments.

You are most welcome, Dear Syr … it is always a pleasure to share with you! ⁓ Richard🖌

[Snow_]

Thank you for the read....

If i may ask....
What is poetry and what is prose?
I mean in my very limited education

I do not really know how to differentiate between the two
How is this poetry? And not a prose...
I really wanna know...So i could critique better
I wanna know before I could rate a piece...

thanks for everything
All i know is its amazing
I just do not know how to express it....thanks

[Tumi]

Wow every soul, not just a girl or woman, would love to read such a wondrous piece,
you've described wonderfully the voice, laughter, heart, glints using vivid imagery and compelling words,
The way she moves lacks rush or force,
her sighs, a symphony of bliss …
wide-eyed, she knows of naught but love;
a boy, she’s yet to taste his kiss.
oh, this above line makes my heart shake

I wish there was a genie, so i can wish to compose such wonderful poems

[Richard🖌]

More than all else, Syr Tumi,

The joyfully laid praise and expressed appreciation of your words are more than expected gratuity for a humble bard's meager labors.
Still, I'll wrap them all around my heart and head, wearing them like a master's gilded cloak and crown.

Never, Tumi, doubt the lofty potential of your pen's poetic passion … your verse is limited only by your degree of poetic education and depths of creative expression.

Most grateful thanks for your gracious review! ⁓ Richard🖌

[Lisasview]

That young girls lives with all of us (women) forever... with hopes of never letting go of all our youthful desires.
Your poem encaptures all of this and is so well written (of course) from a mans point of view...
Interesting how you, dear Richard are able to understands the desires and needs of a young girl entering into womanhood...
Loved this ofcourse!!!
lisa

[Richard🖌]

Hi, Lisa 🌺

How wonderful you always make it feel to share my humble little poetic offerings with you … thank you so very much for your beautifully gracious praise and inspiring expressions of appreciation.
Yes, I have spent a lifetime of closeness and affection around the faire and gentle genre … plus, I raised a daughter and she, in turn, has gifted me a beautiful granddaughter to learn such deeply wholesome wonderments of girls from.

That you love anything about my poetry makes sharing all the more inspiring and worthwile! ⁓ Richard🖌

[Kim S.]

I really love that last stanza, This is very well written. Enjoyed this beautiful write.

[Richard🖌]

Again,

You bless me with your love for and enjoyment of my poetry, and for your encouraging compliments.

Bless you, Dear Poetess! ⁓ Richard🖌

[fallon]

You capture a young girls innocence so well. Her sweetness and how she brightens the world around her.
It made me long for my own youth, reminding me of the feeling of being that young girl. What a wonderful feeling it was!
Ah, but then the end came, and I was reminded that I am no longer that girl.
Thank you for taking on that trip this wonderful morning. It was very appreciated.

[Richard🖌]

Bon matin, Fallon cher 🥀

How sweetly your lovely words have warmed my chilly South Texas morning … virtually, a captivating poem in their collectively embracing charm.
Then, the manner in which you've so deeply felt and related to the essence of this piece, surpasses hopeful expectations in the most captivating ways.


Oh, I think that girl still vibrantly lives within the wonder of the woman you've become.
Thank you, Dear Fallon … Happy Autumn ⁓ Richard 🍂

[Chris Shaw]

You paint a picture of perfect innocence here Richard. A young girl before she blossoms into womanhood. And what next? I hope she meets someone who will melt her own heart so she has happy ever afters. Your stanzas are beautifully descriptive, tender and flow smoothly. A delightful read. Thank you for sharing your art with us.

Chris

[Richard🖌]

Wonderfully laid, Dear Chris 🍷

Nothing, for a hopeful bard, is more rewarding or satisfying than receiving appreciative plaudits for their earnest efforts from such a skilled artist, as yourself … and, that you consider my poetry art, is both an inspiration and a thrill.
Plus, you always seem to (spot-on) grasp the core essence of my poetic intents.

Thank you, ever-so gratefully for your most graciously lovely review!
Happy Autumn to ya, Chris ⁓ Richard 🍂

[John the Baptist]

A very charming portrait of a young girl in all her innocence. Very nicely rhymed. We must wonder how life will go for this girl. Hopefully well, so she won't end up writing lines of bitterness on W/C

[Richard🖌]

Thank you ever-so humbly, John 😌

One can only hope and best do their part,
in guiding straight a young, blooming heart.

Blessings! ⁓ Richard🖌