The Sign (aberrancy)

Unmetered Quatrains w/slant rhymes in aabb, ccdd, etc; rhymes. Being asked to post something other than romance poetry, here's one that came to mind … inspired by a rather eerie dream.

"THE SIGN"

As I lay old, time ticking away,
I saw very shortly the end of the fray.

Of what I saw then I can barely speak;
as music played loud, drums rolled weak.

Scores and thousands of mutes on the march,
came screaming and crying without any hearts.

Shuffled-by next, gray rotten-hermits in tens,
each mumbling, "We'll never be single again!"

They kept on coming, all loaded with gold,
fur coats on their backs to keep out the cold.

I laughed 'til I cried when I read their sign,
"Today, at a discount, FREE PEACE OF MIND!"

Richard W. Jenkins
©1994

Author's Note

A piece pulled from the archives.
Painting: Victor Hugo, oil on canvas by Leon Bonnat, 1885.
(used only in a contextual nuance of final fantasy).

"In fading moments ...
who’s to foretell what one's mind might perceive?"

Please, offer whatever critique you believe will help. ✍

Reviews

[Fabian G. Franklin]

"What does it all mean, poet?" Robert Browning But I mean the sign primarily. Does it mean they are advertising an offering and giving away some peace of mind or does it mean they are slaves on the march for freedom in solidarity, carrying banners demanding the attention of the powers that be? Since it's been discounted, I will assume the former rather than the latter. We are always saying, "Rest In Peace" over the dead. I wonder how many would rather be toiling in turmoil but still alive. I enjoyed this one. It got my synapses firing in contemplation. Thank you for sharing your talents. F.

[lightsong]

Well my father died with a smile on his face so at least we know for sure there is a smile there :> oh and it's free!. what I see and feel here even through the "mambo jambo" images (well again who knows what CRAZINESS the mind can see in fading moments) is that total peace, I am not speaking about the peace of oneself, but the peace of all the world.

[Richard🖌]

Thank you, Ghounwah 🙏

For reading and commenting on this indecipherable piece from one of my phantasmagorical dreams.
One would think that if their father's eternal journey began with a smile on his face, it might offer a sense of happiness and peace for those he's left behind … a blessing, per se.
For a long after this dream, I was left with a felling of uneasy confusion … a similar feeling I still get from reading it.
The "mambo jambo," as you call it, is my interpretation in words of visions.
I can only hope this is not what I perceive at or after my final breath.

I bid thee a most wonderful evening! ⁓ Richard🍃

[lightsong]

yes I understand your confusing and restless feelings about this dream, some dreams are like that, but don't worry I assure You that only peace and beauty is waiting for You there specially for a beautiful soul like yours, my father wasn't happy in his life (You know my beautiful mother) but he also drove himself more into unhappiness, his face when he died still in my head... he was like sleeping and happy, now enough talking about death and LIVE ON!

[heavenscentgirl1]

VERY THOUGHT PROVOKING BUT VERY BEAUTIFUL AT THE SAME TIME. THANKS FOR SHARING YOUR WORDS WITH US RICHARD MY FRIEND
HSG. 😇

[Richard🖌]

Thank you most gratefully, Mary Jo 🍂

For reading and commenting on this rather incomprehensible piece from one of my eerie dreams/nightmares.
You're the first who's said this poem is "beautiful," but poetically speaking, I think so, too … in an offbeat sort of way.

Here's bidding you and yours a fabulous Thanksgiving gathering! ⁓ Richard🍃

[Cyprian Van Dyke]

Interesting write. I like the manner you wrote this in. I never read a poem like this before. I read it twice. Dreams always interest me and poetry and the two in one it's just amazing. It really makes me think. Tyfs

[Richard🖌]

Hi, Cyprian 👋🏼

Thanks for selecting one of my pieces to read and review … albeit, a bit bizarre or somewhat phantasmagorical.😳
I'm truly pleased you like the written format, find it interesting and amazing, and reading it twice assures me we've connected though my earnest, humble efforts.

You've made me think, too, Cyprian … I'm so very glad to have shared this one with you.
Thanks again! ⁓ Richard 🍃

[Garrett Leatherman]

Love the surreal imagery here. Could you describe what "We'll never be single again" means? Or perhaps it's just an inexplicable dream image...

[Richard🖌]

Top-o-th'-mornin', My Friend 🌤️

Many thanks for taking-on this rather Poe-esque, or "surreal" piece, as you so aptly put it.
Hm? To answer your question … I suppose the following verse emphasizes that the hermits had banded together and will thereafter always be inseparable:
"Next, dragged-by gray, rotten hermits in tens, murm'ring, 'We'll never be single again.' "
If you think it's confusing to You, I've tried to understand it for years; your guess is as good as mine(?).

I'm glad you found reason to "love" this one, Garrett … I'm still trying to figure it out.🤔
Thanks for the read and your thought-provoking review! ⁓ Richard 🍃

[Garrett Leatherman]

Poe is one of my favorites :) I see what you mean now. Another one of those slippery dream images I suppose...

[Susan 🦋]

oH geez! Who's to know what the mind sees in a dream. LOL dicounted peace of mind? I bet, between the mutes and the hermits and music blaring...not much peace of mind happeneing.
But why mutes with no hearts? Hmmm ( lol dreams) prehaps helplessness void of feelings ( heart)??...hence mutes no hearts.
Loads of gold??? The root of all evil? OK Yikes Richard, this one has me in a million directions ( probably all wrong) But, I gave it a shot. :-))

[Richard🖌]

G'morning, Sweet Lady Susan 🌼

LOL! I was wondering if you'd come across this one and how you might react.🤔
Actually, knowing and respecting your high level of discernment, I'm convinced you've done better at divining the meanings of this piece far better than I have, and I can't begin to tell you how many times I've reread and gone over each part in my mind.

Thanks for taking this one on; wishing you a glorious Sunday afternoon … happy hugs! ⁓ Richard 🍃