Old Love (second thoughts)

Ballad in alternating iambic tetrameter/trimeter (8/6/8/6 counts) and abcb, defe, ghih, etc; rhyme scheme.

It’s well I know of lonely nights …

these ever longer days.

Each time my lover's strayed-away

and I'm the one who stays.

Lost rivers from my many tears …

then, flowed to sorrow's seas,

with plaintive, soft-sent sighs to thee,

beseeching on bare knees.

Too well I know that painful grip

of steady, lonesome days,

and dread the fall of eventide,

devoid of your dear ways.

Comes ever to my waiting hope,

unanswered, echoed calls …

there's no relent to this dire need;

too sad, each tear that falls.

Shhh! Listen, hear this heart of mine

sing sweet our love's refrain …

oh, do your feet begin to dance,

or does it bring you pain,

to know that stars cannot take back

what's twinkled in our eyes …

nor, moon forget that which he's seen

on high from warm night skies?

If you shall answer with a, "Yes,

my soul is lonely, too!"

Why not then give us one more chance,

to make old love brand new.

Richard W. Jenkins

©2019

.

Author's Note

Painting: Oil on board, courtesy of Pinterest.

Please, feel free to leave hard critique, but know what you're talking about. 🤔

Reviews

[Marie]

Old love never dies and this pleasing ballad supports my theory. Soft, gentle, warm and emotionally touching is exquisitely penned in a beautiful simplicity. A very evocative write filled with symbolism as the story of love missed is painted superbly throughout. Giving love a second chance for some couples, sadly not for everyone. Missing someone so special is very impressively penned in this sublime write. So enjoyed reading. Thank you for sharing, dear poet...

[Richard🖌]

Thank you, Gently Kind Marie 🌾

To be so intricately, graciously appreciated, and knowingly praised by such an accomplished poetess, with clear, keen understanding, entices a hopeful bard to blush with the sheer sincerity of passions sent and felt.
It is poignantly written, "Once falling out of love, it is nearly impossible to fall back in."

Warmest hugs to You! ⁓ Richard🖌

[Marie]

......and also to you, dear poet!

[Tate Morgan]

to know that stars cannot take back

what's twinkled in our eyes …

nor, moon forget that which he's seen

on high from warm night skies?


Such bliss in this so well tendered. bravo

[Richard🖌]

Greetings, my finely talented Friend 😃

Thank you most gratefully for spotlighting those lovely lines from my imagination unto your skilled, discerning eye.
Such a nice compliment and kudos from an artist on your level is encouraging praise, indeed … thank you, again.

Bless your every moment throughout the new year, Tate! ⁓ Richard 🍃

[Tate Morgan]

Thank you Richard. You are a true talent.

[Richard🖌]

B l u s h *

[Tate Morgan]

This took a lot of work. Precise drafting. Command of language and insight. I see every turn of a phrase. This took an inspiration and created a lullaby of it. I am very impressed! This is
mastery of the art.Not one word out of place. Not one beat of the line out of place

[Audrey M.]

First I need to tell you how much I love your choice in cover pics for your poems. Very nice.
Next I really like the poem as a whole but I have to say the part that reads "to know that stars cannot take back what's twinkled in our eyes...nor, moon forget that which he's seen on high from warm night skies?". That is my favorite part. Still spoken in a romantic sense. Also, I hope you don't mind me saying this, but it would make a nice companion piece to my twilght poem : )
Enjoying your poems sir : )

[Richard🖌]

Thank you ever-so warmly, Dear Poetess 🎶

It is a special treat, indeed, that my efforts to find the right introduction artwork and pictures for my poems are so thoughtfully recognized. I want the experience of reading my earnest poetical efforts to be as fully an enjoyable experience for my readers as possible, and I often spend a considerable amount of time to try my best at it.
Of course, we both know that nothing can turn a sow's ear into silk … that is, if the poetry, itself, lacks, no amount of decor is going to make its soul sing and dance.
I agree with your choice of lines … once the artist knows what they want to impart, it's a matter, then, of meaningful metaphoric imagery and syntactic flow. I am so very thrilled you recognized that meaningful aspect of this piece. : )

MIND? Why, I am more honored than words can express to know you believe my writing and yours could compliment each other.

Ahhh, I feel like I've been kissed by stars*
Hugs to You! ⁓ Richard 🍃

[Donicca Dona L]

Beautiful written i feel like often we forgot that we can run out of love but it is never late to start love again. Love is a feeling worth fighting and renews.

[Richard🖌]

A most lovely review, Dear Poetess 🥀

Thank you ever-so warmly for your encouraging compliment and for sharing your keen insights on love and its renewal.

I agree, Lady Dona, the spark of love within each of us is like a glowing ember that never dies, and can always be rekindled with the softest breath! ⁓ Richard 🍃

[danielle.]

I absolutely love this.

I have little knowledge of the technicalities of poetry but I do feel like this arrangement lends itself so well to the bitter sweet.

I think this is beautiful in content and composition.

Elle xx

[Richard🖌]

Hi, Elle 🍂

How wonderful it truly is to write for and share with another who can "absolutely love" my humble poetic efforts … you've no idea how inspiring it is to receive such an accolade, and other warm expressions of appreciation, from an experienced poetess on your level.
As far as technicalities of the simple Ballad form this piece is composed in, they are detailed in the introduction for anyone to try, if they so wish, and it you do, I'll be happy to lend a hand, if needed. : )

Your words in review, a lovely poem in themselves, Elle … hugs! ⁓ Richard 🍃

[Just Kim]

Too well I know that painful grip
of steady, lonesome days,
and dread the fall of eventide,
devoid of your dear ways.

I really love this part, i can feel the emotion in this stanza,
this is a well written write, much enjoyed this emotional piece

[Richard🖌]

Hi, Kim ☀️

Thank you so very much for selecting this romantic piece in homage to reigniting the flame of love that had dwindled to an ember.
I, too, can feel the depth of emotion in the stanza you've highlighted, assuring that we've connected in a meaningful way.

Thank you also for your inspiring praise, for enjoying my writing, and surely for loving any part of it … happy hugs for a nice warm day! ⁓ Richard 🍃

[Cherrie]

Hello Richard, You have such a easy way of blending image and rhyme, as always a lovely poem

[Richard🖌]

Why, "Hello, Sweet Cherrie!" 🎶

How wonderful of you to select this lovely piece to read and review for me, and I simply love what you think about it, too … you inspire me.

Hugs 'n happy blessings of warmest thanks, Dear Poetess! ⁓ Richard 🍃

[Cherrie]

I hope you and your family are safe and well

[Richard🖌]

All's fine here … the same hoped for thee, Dear Cherrie ✨

[Cherrie]

We are doing well, we live in a rural area so that helps, and Im still working, which I'm grateful for.

[Richard🖌]

Be carrreful and keep mindful … we couldn't do without you, Cherrie*

[Relic]

Nice job, Richard. Each line seamlessly flows into the next and the emotion is what gives the poem impact.

[Richard🖌]

Hey Tim!

Ya lookin' good, buddy … LOL!
I really enjoyed your take and comments on this one.

Thanks a million, My Fine Friend! ⁓ Richard 🍃

[Betty Hermelee]

What a beautiful poem, so poignant; lost love, ever desiring to bring her back to the " on old days" of song and dance. But know sometimes those that we have lost will never return. "Lost rivers from many tears" . I could go on, but, suffice it to say, I really love your work!

[Richard🖌]

Thank you ever-so warmly, Betty,

I love how you let me know, by your keen interpretations, we've connected through my poetry … exactly how I mean them, too.

It's rare, and I am truly grateful for You! ⁓ Richard 🍃

[Betty Hermelee]

Thank you for writing such a poignant poem; I will critique some others, a pleasure!!!

[Richard🖌]

"B L U S H !"
Such a thought-provoking rush. 😌

[AYVID N]

Such a delightful poem Richard. How beautifully you reason with an old and lost love to return. The penultimate verse is my most favorite. Amazing rhyming and meter! I was tapping my toes as I read it! I can't critique this poem in any way as I have no expertise to do so. But I so very much enjoyed reading it. Keep creating such beauty.

[Richard🖌]

Love your cat on the books! : )

"know that stars cannot take back
what's twinkled in our eyes …
nor, moon forget that which he's seen
on high from warm night skies"

Seems it's true, what they say of kindred hearts … thank you, Dear Divya, for sharing yours.
Wouldn't it be wonderful if the deepest lost love we'd ever known could be rekindled with only the beauty of it to return and last?
That you are working on your rhythm, meter, and flow is exemplified in your choice and commentary of this particular piece, Dear Divya … let me if you might be interested and I will gift you the key to unlock these poetical mysteries.

Your treasured praise and expressed appreciation make creating and sharing feel so very worthwhile … thank you ever-so sincerely, Divya ⁓ Richard 🍃

[AYVID N]

You’re most welcome Richard. It was a pleasure and I’ll surely seek your guidance soon.