The NEOPHYTE (novice)

SESTETS (6-line verses) in 9-syllable counts and a rhyme-scheme of aa,bb,cc / dd,ee,ff / etc.

The NEOPHYTE

…beginner…

Once, a young lass, naïve neophyte …

some force compelled her to sit and write.

Her coffers were filled with every word

that had been written or ever heard.

Her pen’s ink she drew from finest wells,

to scribe her magick poetic spells.

Preparing for what, she did not know …

phantasmic vapors began to flow,

kaleidoscopes spun in high hues bright,

to set her young soul to winged flight.

A mandala all her words became,

as each thought lit a poetic flame.

Now, 'twas there she sat, filled pen in hand,

upon the pages bright thoughts flowed grand.

Far into night, soft moonlight glowed down,

every word she scribed would bring renown …

adjectives and adverbs, oh so fine,

she perfectly placed in every line.

Then, at breaking of morn’s early light,

she’d writ everything that she could write;

her eyes grew heavy, her wings now furled,

her weary head lain down, shed the world.

Came dream upon dream, all through her sleep,

great poems so grand, not one she’d keep.

She tried to recall … they disappeared;

'twas as though, a wind her mind had cleared.

Upon the table came into sight

pages labored-on all through the night.

Her heart filled with joy at what she read;

then, slowly her words … each turned to dread.

Something was missing, all had gone wrong;

her melody, became a sad song.

The rhymes were all slanted, nothing flowed,

her bright world spinning had somehow slowed.

Where were the images from her mind?

Not a one, on each page, could she find.

Oh, all her words were still there, alright;

but, they’d lost their meanings, from last night.

Like talking with no poetic voice,

that which seemed thrilling does not rejoice.

What, while she slept, had suddenly changed;

had her words, somehow, been rearranged?

She sat, pored keenly over each line,

discov’ring her words were not so fine.

They lacked those deep feelings she had felt …

all of the love in her heart that dwelt.

Thus, she studied about metaphor,

rhyming  'n rhythm  -- then, so much more.

With syntax, flow, and line-breaks that dance;

her verses, she knew, now stood a chance.

She’d read and learned, by those from before;

now, could express her feelings galore.

Her words, at last, knew how to sing;

it's said, "Each, is an inspiring Spring!"

One cannot do what they do not know,

we must first learn, before we can grow.

So, all you fresh, naïve beginners …

smile, for you each will soon be winners.

Learn our fine art of poetry right;

or, you’ll ever be … a "Neophyte".

Richard W. Jenkins

© 3 Oct 2007

Author's Note

One from the archives (though, long) you may still enjoy and find something worthwhile in.
Originally, it was a "young lad", until one of the site's very observant poetesses pointed out that the majority of writers on here are lasses … I always oblige a charming lady-poet. ; )

Please, feel free to leave well-meant, honest, and constructive critique! : )

Reviews

[Lisasview]

Loved reading this (story) poem.
Really..now Richard what can I say.. Not easy to review what I would call a perfect poem.
Clever..clever..
I understood it so well.
Every line sang to me...
I smiled throughout the entire poem..wonderful feeling..waking up, not feeling great, with this Covid, and reading your poem was such a positive beginning of my day.
Funny, but since I started all this.. was it really only two weeks ago!!
I fall asleep searching for words..and once found, I hope to remember them in the morning..seldom happens because with doing this as I said I fall to sleep..and all is lost in my dreams.

[Richard🖌]

Thank you ever-so warmly, Lisa Dear✍

And, I love that you loved anything about this rather contemplative story poem, too. What a marvelous compliment for an olde bard to receive from such an elegant poetess.
Further, that you smiled while reading and actually understand its essence throughout every line, serves to prove I've reached, at least, one appreciative human being … what higher praise could there be than this?

With sincerest gratitude! ⁓ Richard🖌

[Jade]

WOW!!! NOW THIS IS A WRITE....
This is really good. I enjoyed this one immensely.
I did enjoy this. Favoring this piece

[Richard🖌]

Gosh, Brandie!
You've no idea the extend your words deeply touch and gratify truly this bard's hopes to write for and reach at least one reader with this piece in just the exuberant way you've expressed your reaction to it.

I am gobsmacked … thank you ever-so warmly and sincerely, Brandie 🍂 ⁓ Richard

[Jade]

gobsmacked....LOL thanx 😁

[Richard🖌]

It's all in fun, eh? ; )

[¿]

Am SPEECHLESS!!

Beccy and you made a more than motivating write....you know this one described each and every phrase of a beginner's (including me) life at writing ....not everytime I can write a masterpiece nor always am satisfied with my write....sometimes slight and sometimes too much disappointment embraces for not able to put what exactly am thinking on pages. Perhaps we need more time to refine the whole metaphor or concept in our mind whichever we beginners want to use in our poem.
I badly and deadly needed this poem. Thanks so much dear bestie for sharing this. Almighty’s grace be upon you :)

[Richard🖌]

Hi, Tahsin!
It is so nice to see that you've read this one and seem to like it so much. : )read moreHi, Tahsin!
It is so nice to see that you've read this one and seem to like it so much. : )
Yes, it is true, that there is far more to excellently composed poetry that the novice can understand, but if they have real potential, will soon learn what it they need to learn and practice to hone their burgeoning skills.

You are so welcome, my lovely little friend, and I thank you for such a gratifying review … big hugs! ⁓ Richard : )

[¿]

You're warmly welcome dear friend...always a pleasure to have a read from you...Be blessed :)

[Susan 🦋]

So true!!! and a great teacher helps too!!... what a great write!..and a lesson to go along with it! That's the best! :-)

[Richard🖌]

Thank you, Susan, for all your reviews.
I thought you might understand and appreciate this one.

Blessings! ⁓ Richard : )

[Beccy]

Really enjoyed this. As poets we must grow, learn to properly utilise the tools of our trade in the same way as anyone who practices any of the seven arts.

Practise, practise, then practise some more, has rarely been better advised than here.

Beccy.

[Richard🖌]

Thank you Dear Beccy,
For selecting this rather lengthy, involved piece to read and leave such comprehensively understanding comments on study, learning, and practice … the very core essence of mastering most anything; especially, poetry.

I really enjoy the way your mind works … most gratefully yours! ⁓ Richard : )

[Verse]

Ah, a cautionary tale... making a note to self right now, dear Richard!!! :):)

I haven’t been here very long, but I can see just how much you do for us newbies. Every welcome comes from the heart, and that is not easy to do. Everyone says thank you. I am saying, I am proud of you for all you do.

[Richard🖌]

Hi, Sweet, Lovely Verse! : )
How wonderful of you to select this rather awakening piece to read, review, and let me know we've so warmly and nicely touched and connected on a meaningful level … this is such a delightfully wonderful and welcomed pleasure.

Nothing could be more warmly gratifying or encouraging than knowing such a highly accomplished lady-poet as you are feels such sincere pride in me … for any reason.

Sighhh!
You're so very sweet to me … thank you ever-so warmly and sincerely! ⁓ Richard 🌸

[Verse]

Very well deserved! :)

[Richard🖌]

Well, Thank you for the lovely compliment, Dear Lady-Poet 🎶

[.]

Woah! It''s awesome! You are the second one I found on this website ... writing poems of this type. I loved it!
I really enjoyed reading this one.
Thanks for sharing, Keep writing and Good luck!

[Richard🖌]

Hi, Aurora,
Thank you sincerely and gratefully for selecting this piece to read, enjoy, and comment on.
Your exuberance, praise, and love for it tells me we've connected in a very lovely way.

I am ever-so grateful for your good luck wish and expressed love … brightest hugs 'n blessings! ⁓ Richard : )

[Richard🖌]

BTW, Aurora,
I forgot to ask you who else is it that wrote a poem of this type? I would like to read them, too.

Warmest smiles to thee! 😊

[lightsong]

I remember reading these words for a "Lad" not a "Lass", (You forgot to change "poet" to "poetess" beneath the title) but sure lad or lass the meaning and essence is still the very same. well though I know I was never that Lass and will never be the winning Neophyte (what a title and name!) still no doubt that this is a real masterpiece, sparkling with sheer brilliance, and Your ever smoothing enchanting flow gives again that magical spell all over Your page, the easy language touching the "neophyte" poetic hearts with the ups and downs that they face, the hopes and despairs, like their locked thoughts and unheard words were freed by Your fine ink, giving them comfort and faith that there are those whom were at their places, taking the road step by step, as they should do now, give them the courage and thrill to go in the way. I don't think there is someone whom is a great teacher as You are, nor someone whom is dedicated, passionate and giver to poetry like You, You give unselfishly, with great passions to this realm, and we all but most bow with our sincerest dearest respect.

"The Bard King" is surely Your name.

[lightsong]

I think I've edited this review more than five times, sorry about that.

[Richard🖌]

Well, dear Light,
I am, after-all, but a simple bard, whose passion for poetry and passing along the art intact is a dedicated lifetime undertaking, while attempting to inspire and encourage all within my reach who are willing, and to the angst of most who are not … LOL!
While You, on-the-other-hand, are obviously an already accomplished poetess who is comfortable in her own skin and knows how to express in the medium of words far more beautifully than I could ever dream of doing.
I thank you most humbly and gratefully for reading this rather lengthy line of verse, and for offering your help in editing that rogue faux pas.
The poem's character, a lad, as you so adroitly pointed out, became a lass after it was brought to my attention that the majority of onsite writers are of the fairer sex … thus, I immediately relented, in deference to the prominent audience in attendance.
You've gifted a most fetching and encouraging review to this tactful admonishment to all burgeoning serious poetesses and poets to learn the basics of a strong foundation before attempting to build soaring poetical edifices.

With grateful blessings galore! ⁓ Richard : )

[lightsong]

LOL I can NEVER think or call You a "simple Bard" not me or anyone around here I so believe so, as for me I also know that I'm not an accomplished poetess even if I write beautiful words LOL but to hear You say this surely paint this huge smile on my heart :)

"fairer sex" we rule the world even here aren't we lol ;)

[LazerRays]

A fun poem with great meaing.
Great job. It was smooth and flattering to my eye.

[Richard🖌]

You're a good sport, Saree,
One for whom I hold a certain growing admiration.
Thank you ever-so warmly and sincerely for your gratifying compliments and comments.

A big hug of thanks, Dear Lady-Poet! ⁓ Richard : )

[Najam Us Saher]

This poem had a very nice message for all the aspiring poets (including me)
Every time I read your poetry I feel a very unique experience as your words make me indulge in them so much that I forget where I am.
The tale of this young lad was so finely woven that every neophyte could picture themselves in his position. Thank you very much for writing this so I could learn something, just like a wonderful teacher like yourself would want to impart knowledge to others a poet imparts their knowledge through poetry. This is what you just did :)

[Richard🖌]

Thank you ever-so warmly and gratefully, Najam,
The very touch of your words sing softly and sincerely of bright understandings in such ways there is left no doubt we've connected in a deeply meaningful way, and oh how gratifyingly wonderful it feels.

Bless you your pure heart and soul! ⁓ Richard : )

[Najam Us Saher]

You are always welcome. Your poetry gives pleasure and immense happiness to me whenever I read them. You leave me in awe and I thank you so much for writing such :)
God bless you too.

[kitty]

An incredible read~ nostalgic in parts. Spellbound ~ with words held tight ~ truly a verse to my delight ~ brings facts home ~ that cuts right to the bone.

[Richard🖌]

Thank you, Kitty,
You always bless me with beautifully touching sentiments that let me know we we've touched and connected in a special way.

Hugs 'n sweet blessings to thee! ⁓ Richard : )

[kitty]

From the archives it came, a poem with sentiments tho no name. Your readers applaud your good sense and fame and tact and deplomacy that goes with thy name. Thank you for the tutorials dear 'Sir' ~ from the classroom of distinctive knowledge much wisdom you claim.