My darling golden rose ⁓ (in penitence)

Ballad … when her heart would dance in sweet romance, his did not know how (this may be a bit long for some, but it's senseless to try and tell the heart when to quit speaking).

My darling golden rose ~

You know, Sweetheart, I've sat and thought
of all that's good and bad;
of for what purpose it was wrought
I naught but made You sad.

Then, took a closer look at me,
and saw what’s to berate;
for all the good I've tried to be,
seems failure is my fate.

I pray each night and all day long
that I might turn to good,
but surely I am meant for wrong;
this now is understood.

If comes an angel such as You,
and still I haven't changed …
although, your heart is ever true,
we've now become estranged.

So many chances You have gave
to mend my sorry ways;
those times I've tried best to behave,
when You gave me your praise.
 
I'm still the knave I always was,
that's how I am, it seems.
You've filled my world with joyous buzz;
I've only stained your dreams.

Oh, please, sweet angel from above,
forgive me for your sake,
that You might dance again and love
a man who won't forsake

the fairest woman of them all,
with heart of gold to give.
Throw me away and do not stall,
there's happiness to live.

Paint me over with colours grey,
remove me from your scene.
Me, replace with flowers each day,
of precious gold and green.

You've served your purpose setting free
this cold hard heart of mine;
taught me to love, and now I plea,
spit out my bitter wine.

Sincerely, I apologize
for wasting your dear time.
Your luring smile, soft azure eyes,
our every kiss of rhyme,

I'll not forget eternity;
once, it was yours and mine.
We loved in sweet serenity,
shared passions so divine.

Then, darkness came I thought was cured,
my dire, sad sickness deep;
such pain I wreaked, tho you endured,
my cost proved much too steep.

There is no flower that can grow,
without its nourishment,
for each and every seed you’d sow,
was one more I had spent.

You tended with your gentle hand
our garden filled with love,
but every tender shoot to stand,
I made dead fodder of.

That which confuses me so much
is what is wrong with me ...
You gift me light from your charmed touch;
yet, still I cannot see.

Yon sun is shining warm and pure,
the mockingbird sings sweet;
when You look down you'll see for sure,
it's me kissing your feet.

I bless the very ground you walk,
I'll always dream of You;
of all our moments shared in talk,
deep romance known by few.

I feel your flame, call out your name
when spells of darkness smite,
and evermore I'll dream your frame
against me warm and tight.

Just one last prayer before I go:
Please, think of me and smile,
remembering I love You so,
and you loved me awhile.

Alas, I'll ne'er fill your desires;
not now, I might suppose;
still, e'er you'll be … 'til life expires,
My darling golden rose ~


Richard W. Jenkins
         ©2017 

Author's Note

Yellow Rose In Repose … courtesy of Wikimedia Commons.

Constructive, well-meant critique is always welcome! : )

Reviews

[Einstein Noodle]

it is long! i most always scroll down a writing first thing ..to see how it looks in entirety ... at a glance ... i am going to give it a go sir! as i expect great things ;)
oh my goodness ..this is going into me library for sure .. well said .. well rhymed and rhythmed ... so honest and such pain the penitent suffers ..oh i am on my own knees begging that forgiveness ..but it can not be redone ... vivid memories of those golden roses that graced my life when i flitted about the flower and would never grasp the stem ...wild and free we run and pine away all our days for those lost love's moments .. can you tell i relate? :} honestly ...nothing that should be shortened ...its is well worth the read
E.

[Richard🖌]

Gosh, Dear Gene!
Whatever happened, that I did not receive notice of your most fetching review for this marathon piece in regretful poignancy?
Now, to think I never knew ('til now) you saved a copy of it in your library … how highly you've honored an olde bard, My Friend.
They way you've related to the essence of this sweeping poetic Ballad gratifies every stroke of my time-worn pen.

Blessings of delightful brightness 'pon all your days! ⁓ Richard : )

[Einstein Noodle]

same to you Richard :)

[Susan 🦋]

Well being such a overly sensitive soul...I shall do my very best to review this heart tugging poem. First, you mentioned it was a bit long...nonsense! In my opinion not long enough!...each thought and emotion felt..bounces of the next. This poem firmly grabs you and pulls you into the world of this lover. It is so raw and private..it is so very real. This poem..geez..is so much more than poetry. My goodness how you can capture those hidden feelings we all tend to hide deep within! Feelings of inadequacy, frustration with self....disappoint...and lets not forget the never ending question "why"...Ohhh how I want to find this person and give him a nice warm hug!...Your poetry comes alive to me...For goodness sake! I need a box of tissue by me every time I read one! It is a God given talent you possess...along with a beautiful heart that can feel every word you pen...that's what make your poetry a standout to me! theses words will be floating in my head, melting my heart and bring a tear to my eyes...simply remembering these feelings! OMGOODNESS YOU! Now....lets add a bit more here..."I pray each night and all day long
that I might turn to good,
but surely I am meant for wrong;
this now is understood.".....your killing me!...Could there be a reason this golden rose is still hanging around? hmmmm perhaps this rose saw sooo much more her lover..every perfect imperfection??..every sorrow and regret in her lover's eyes...and yet, always knowing...he adored her. AHHHHHHH...sigh.

[Richard🖌]

Ya know, Susan?
Whenever I shine my rusty olde pen, fill it from the best and deepest pool of ink, rest it beside the blank parchment, and sit back in peace, with my eyes closed, sometimes, a certain warmth begins to flow throughout my being, and almost on cue I find my hand reaching for the pen, my heart beginning to speak to my head, my emotions joining force with my creative naughty, nice, sombre, or playful self and just let my pen dance free to its own devices and delights.
I seldom ever know in what form it will take or where and when it will end, but i simply let it all have its own way.
When finished, I'll give it a careful and thoughtful read, shift this and that here and there, dotting, dashing, etc; before deciding whether to share it … or not. This one I, almost, didn't share, because of its length. I've literally thousands of poems no one has ever read, but me.
In the end, I'm an olde bard who overflows all he has and is, sharing it with the world in hops that at least one other will find virtue and enjoyment on some meaning level in my humble efforts, and yours, M'Lady, is the golden gratuity that keeps my pen inspired and enthralled to keep writing and sharing.

Thank you ever-so warmly and gratefully; I've stars in my eyes ✨ because of your words, Susan … my happiest hug to you! ⁓ Richard : )

[Dahlia]

Quite long but worth the read! I love the journey you take us on, exploring a love so tender and sweet, and how we can often be lead astray, causing us to confuse the love we have.

[Richard🖌]

Thank you warmly, Dear Dahlia!
Your shared thoughts and feelings of this rather poignant piece of romantic reflection, truly bless and inspire me to keep my battered olde pen shined and at the ready.

Isn't love such a amazing miracle?
With most grateful hugs! ⁓ Richard : )

[Angelheart1]

Dear Sir, your words speak of a deep and abiding love, tho filled with sadness and regret ~ it is still beautifully penned. The next to the last stanza is my favorite of them all, even tho every line can and will resonate within many of us. Thank you for sharing your words with us Richard. Angelheart

(shouldn't the word be 'sow' in the 14th stanza?)

[Richard🖌]

Hi, Angel!
I always love it when you're near, because I know I'm in for a treat from the warm glow of your words, enjoyment, and expressed understandings of my hopeful pieces.
Your verse is the one I most enjoy, too … are you surprised? ; )
Yes, it is "sow", and I'm so very happy you helped me with that … thank you, Angel ✨

Warmest hugs to You! ⁓ Richard

[Angelheart1]

YOU are very welcome, but it is totally my pleasure to read and comment on the words that you share and I am also happy to know that my words are so appreciated by you. I'm not surprised at all Sir for I feel a special connection to many of your words. Thanks again for sharing them with us Sir. Angel🌹

[Linda Marie Van Tassell]

This is such beauty, tinged with sadness, remorse, and regret. The words weep, but there are no tears, just a dried up trail where they once fell. Sometimes, there just are no words; and sometimes, there are just too many words. In either case, they never seem enough. It's that echo that resounds, that hollow always aching to be filled. So bittersweet!

[Richard🖌]

Dear Linda Marie,
I knew if there were anyone who could relate to and grasp the more tender meanings and nuances threaded throughout this monumentally extensive piece, it would surely be You.
Of all those I write for and share with, it's your kindred spirit blended into my ink that speaks from its own innate volition … so much of it IS you, in essence.
Therefore, I know you're going to fully understand my, sometimes, rather abstract metaphor.
Flowing out from within your words is a familiar touch I'll always adore and feel … a yearning sensation, as you say, "that echo that resounds, that hollow always aching to be filled. So bittersweet!" … a luringly heart-soaring poem in itself.

My warmest to thee, Linda Marie! ⁓ Richard

[J. J. Nightingale]

Wow Richard..... It was a little long for these old eyeballs, but AM I EVER GLAD IT IS !!! ... You tell a story... this poor wretch .. sad and sorry, and oh so much in love.. expressing his prayerful desires ... touches one's heart, it does.. to read each line ........ ...

Well done..did enjoy...

Jazzy

[Richard🖌]

Thank you, Jasmine.
I was afraid it may have been a bit too extended for some's taste, but my rugged olde pen just took over … LOL!
How very happy it makes me that you did not give-up on it, that you were able to find appeal and virtue in its rather lamentable complexity, and that you grasped its core essence so well.

Big hug of thanks to you, Dear Lady-Poet! ⁓ Richard : )

[J. J. Nightingale]

I CAN'T SEE BUT A FEW WORDS OF YOUR COMMENT.. THE "READ MORE" WON'T OPEN...BUT YOU ARE WELCOME SIR !!!!

[J. J. Nightingale]

Oh reloaded page, now I see your comment... ((Big Hugs)) back to you .............. Jazzy