Broken Stars⁓* (wish anew)

English [Shakespearean] Sonnet

Broken Stars~*

Last night, 'cross ebon skies stars softly rained;
'pon morning-tide, swept in their shattered shards.
O’er all the land dead stardust darkly stained …
strewn everywhere, like castaway discards.

’Twas only yester night, sweet, love-kissed eyes
reflected every bright glint each star shined …
tonight, the moon looks lonely in its skies,
old universe turns on … it’s paid no mind.

Wait! Are those tiny glimmers ~ far away?
Up there! You surely see they are alive …
few minute sparks that missed the falling fray,
from whence new lovers’ wishes will derive.

O’ broken stars, we thank you from each heart,
for all our gifts … before your sad depart.


Richard W. Jenkins
©2017

Author's Note

Electronic Illustration: Courtesy Google Images

Well meant comments and critique are always welcome. : )

Reviews

[Lisasview]

Good morning Richard,
I loved every word ~ every line of your beautiful Sonnet. "sweet, love-kissed eyes" Oh my goodness.
You pulled me into your thoughts once again ...
Just went back to read it once again and again I was immediately pulled in.
Flowed so well ... as all your poems/sonnets do.
I do so love LOVE Sonnets...with a hint of longing/sadness.
This could have been written in Shakespeares time... really a timeless piece.
Loved it,
Lisa

[Richard🖌]

Good morning, Lisa ✨

I am thrilled you found such favorable allurement in the verses of this unusual-themed Sonnet.
Sprinkle-in a pinch of romance, and voila! Ya got cherself a happy heartbeat.

Happy Autumn! ⁓ Richard 🍂

[Lisasview]

Hi there,
Finally finding a few moments of quite to respond...
and, you are most welcome.
Lisa

[Ari]

I absolutely love this piece. You are a very well written (and knowledgeable) poet

[Richard🖌]

Thank you ever-so much, Ari! : )
Your words of praise and affection for this fantastical poem truly have blessed my humble efforts and gratified them so warmly … hugs to you! ⁓ Richard ; )

[J. J. Nightingale]

"for all our gifts … before your sad depart.".....
Firstly ..the image perfectly fits....
And this is beautiful-sad.....

Wow... I am impressed !!
Perfection

Jazzy

[Richard🖌]

From you, Dear Poetess,
These words of praise and appreciation are a song sung softly into my heart.

With my warmest, most grateful thanks to you, lovely Jasmine ⁓ Richard : )

[J. J. Nightingale]

You are welcome Kind Sir.......♥..

[Great Aunt Astri]

Those stars a great inspiration. Good emotional change in the third stanza. Clever original rhymes. Lovely, though bitter-sweet conclusion. ( But why did you put the poem into stanzas? I thought sonnets were one verse of 14 lines.) Look forward to reading your next masterpiece,

[Richard🖌]

Thank you, Dear Astri,
Your words of praise, appreciation, and understanding have blessed the content and essence this astral poem, and my own efforts to compose and please my lady and fellow poetesses and poets.
There are several acceptable present day display formats for the English Sonnet, including: Continuous verse, separated, first three verses continuous and the heroic couplet offset to the right or separated, with all versions aligned left or centered. Some even separate the turn/volta (third verse) and heroic couplet, while others may group the volta and couplet together and separate them from the first two verses.
Classically, as you say, the English Sonnet is with the verses and heroic couplet contiguous.

Again, Dear Astri, I thank you warmly and sincerely for another of your always thought-provoking and inspiring reviews … hugs 'n blessings! ⁓ Richard : )

[Richard🖌]

"Life's Song" (two listing down from this one) is a prime example of the classical presentation of an English [Shakespearean] Sonnet, if you might be interested enough to give it a look-see! : )

[Great Aunt Astri]

I will have a look see, but first I will put up one of my sonnets(English). I don't think I've got the metre right. I would appreciate your comments.

[Richard🖌]

I'll be happy and honored to read your English Sonnet and comment on it for you, M'Lady. : )

[Enchanted-Raven]

Gorgeous read, beautifully worded..enjoyed :) x

[Richard🖌]

Thanks a million, Raven. : )
I am tickled pink you've read and enjoyed my efforts in such a praising way … hugs to you! ⁓ Richard

[Enchanted-Raven]

My pleasure :) x

[Starry Poet]

A good example of the form, magical and romantic, and a lovely use of vocabulary and convention. There were only a few hitches in the rhythm -- for me -- but otherwise I loved it. Good job on the presentation too! :)

[Richard🖌]

Thank you sincerely, Poet, for your generous and appreciative read and praise of this little piece, my new friend.
I'm always happy and willing to improve on the quality of my skills and efforts, so if you see an issue I need to work on, specifics will be greatly helpful … which rhymes (exactly) did you find a "hitch" with(?), that I can either work on them or explain why they were used in the manner they are.

Thanks again … the very best to you! ⁓ Richard : )

[Starry Poet]

Hey Richard, I'm new to the site and not sure -- did you get my response to this message? I had timed out when I sent the response ... :(

[Richard🖌]

I did not yet receive your response … please, send it again.

[Starry Poet]

First of all, I love the poem! It truly is a beautiful theme and going on my favourites list. You have a way with words that is hard to come by. I wasn't referring to your rhymes (which are perfect), it was more about the flow -- for me. A couple of the multi syllable words and the use of "O'er" made me pause. I find the word awkward and I read it as two syllables even though I know it's only counted as one. I may place accent on certain words differently too -- being Australian -- so that is an individual quirk, I guess. :) The only other thing I found distracting from that beautiful cadence were the exclamation points. I find they create a feeling of excitement, create a pause, and I'm not sure they suit that sentimental and dreamy tone that you've created throughout. I hope you don't mind my opinions, but I don't do superficial very well. No doubt the next person's opinion will differ to mine, so I always think the best person to trust is the writer, you. Lovely to make a new friend!

[Richard🖌]

Elision, the omission of a sound or syllable when speaking (as in I'm, let's, e'en, e'er, o'er, etc) has been commonly used in writing and poetry in the present day since the16th century: from late Latin elision, derived from Latin elidere " crush out".
The iambic pentameter beat of the English Sonnet almost guarantees the need for its use.
I am grateful you shared your further in-depth comments, though, you said in your original review, "There were only a few hitches in the rhythm."
It is the iambic beat/tempo/meter of the English Sonnet that determines the flow; although, syntax certainly contributes to smoothness, as-well.
My use of punctuation, including exclamation points, are intentional in every instance, meant to be read as such, pauses and all.
I thoroughly enjoy a review (such as yours), where the reader expresses genuine food for thought, allow the author to interact with the method in their madness … LOL!
Thank you so very much for sharing yours … I am hopeful my responses have proven at least half as interesting as your comments.
You've, indeed, made this a welcomed and enjoyable exchange for me … thank you sincerely, ___________, what is your first name? ⁓ Richard : )

[Starry Poet]

You're welcome, Richard. My name is Mandy :)

[Richard🖌]

Hi, Mandy!
Thanks for sharing your lovely name … you're brilliant, and I am so very pleased to make your very intelligent, friendly acquaintance.
We share something (i feel is worthwhile) in common: I, also, seldom leave a token review; in fact, there is a poem dedicated to this very subject I composed and posted here, titled "The REVIEW", you might enjoy and find interesting, when you've the time: http://www.writerscafe.org/writing/RichardJ/1586806/
Meanwhile, I'll stop by your place for a nice visit.
Many smiles to come! ⁓ Richard : )

[Starry Poet]

Thank you for your kind comments, Richard. I will be sure to check out your poem, too. I'm sure it's excellent! I'm afraid I haven't added much to my profile yet, but there are a couple of poems kicking around in there. Your opinion/interpretation would be appreciated, and I enjoyed our chat. :)

[Richard🖌]

Thank you, Mandy … likewise. ⁓ RJ : )

[Richard🖌]

One last note: You'll find that many on here use punctuation, elision, etc; and, on "most" of my pieces, in particular, they were written with the thought in mind the reader will recognize that they are not meant to be breezed through, but read according to the tempo set by meter and punctuation; anyway, not to keep beating a dead horse … LOL!

[mattavelli]

Hello, Richard! :)
I think this is lovely. The phrasing and imagery of stanza one really pulled me in, and continued, carrying a message that I read as somewhere between accepting and coping with loss. But such is life, hu? The show goes on as the actors change.

[Richard🖌]

Ah, my dear friend, Matt,
It is ever a countless pleasure to receive the blessing and praise of your knowing, skilled, and understanding words for one of my humble little pieces.
You've hit the nail square on the head in grasping the essence of this work, but knowing you, I'm not a bit surprised … I am, though, inspired and deeply grateful.

It is so very nice to see you, Matt … it reminds me of all the good times we've shared! ⁓ Richard : )

[mattavelli]

Its good to be seen, Richard. :)
Ive been busy, but I've been around, don't review much anymore, saw your collaboration with Astri and I'm a bit jealous. Haha... I hope all's well with you.

[Richard🖌]

All's very well, Matt, thanks for your care.
yes, Astri is, indeed, a fine poetess, and a breeze to write with … I know she'll love your review, too, and you should be jealous. ; )
I've very rarely done cowrites, she sorta roped me into it; it's the charming way of a crafty woman … LOL!

[Annette Pisano-Higley]

"Tonight the moon looks lonely in its skies, old universe turns on...its paid no mind". Superbly well-written! " O' broken stars we thank you from each heart" Such Beauty transient, here and gone in the glimmer of a worshipping eye... The bar is raised. Kudos to a Master!

[Richard🖌]

Thank warmly and gratefully, Dear Annette,
It is a wonderful pleasure to receive such high praise and expressed appreciation from a wonderfully skilled Free Verse and Free Style poetess in the two passages you've highlighted … a poem in itself, your encouraging words both bless my poem and blush my humbly grateful cheeks.

Warmest hugs to you, Fine Lady-Poet! ⁓ Richard : )

[Annette Pisano-Higley]

Many hugs back dear Richard!:)) Thank you much!

[Dr. YumnaKay]

"O’ broken stars, we thank you from each heart,
for all our gifts … before your sad depart."

This was a beautiful read. Stars however broken, contain a certain magic around them...
I loved this piece by you, Richard :)

[Richard🖌]

So very true, Dear Yumna,
It is always a pleasurable delight to receive the warming, assuring praise and appreciation of such a skilled poetess as yourself.
The passage you've highlighted serves as the foundation for this piece, exemplifying your understanding.
Thank you sincerely, warmly, and gratefully, Dear Lady-Poet … you've blessed my morning! ⁓ Richard : )

[Dr. YumnaKay]

You're welcome, Richard. Always a pleasure reading your works :)

[Giulia King]

This was so magical to read!

[Richard🖌]

Likewise, Dear Gullia, of you and your charming, encouraging comment … warmest hugs! ⁓ Richard : )

[Najam Us Saher]

I really like the flow and rhythm of this poem. The imagery was very pleasant.

[Richard🖌]

Thank you, Najam, ever-so gratefully and warmly for reading, liking, and praising this star-struck piece … happy blessings! ⁓ Richard : )

[Najam Us Saher]

You are most welcome.... Your poems and words make me smile :)