⁓ In that Moment ⁓ (when dreams whisper)

English Sonnet

Author's Note

Picture: The Dreamer by Natasha Von

Constructive comments and critique are always welcome! : )

Reviews

[George Coombs]

An excellent sonnet Richard;lovely words, the thing it captures for me is the importance and preciousness of the present moment e.g "the last thing on my lips..." a precious moment in itself before one drifts into sleep taking the beloved with you-great writing

[Richard🖌]

Thank you sincerely, George.
You words of praise, enjoyment, and understanding are a mana to an olde bard's ardent hopes, assuring that his wares are appreciated and value found by one of those with whom he shares them most endearingly.

Your take is priceless in the quote of line you've so deftly excerpted … gratefully yours! ⁓ Richard : )

[George Coombs]

your welcome Richard

[Marianne Rose]

This is a lovely read, Richard, made more beautiful by the weaving of spiritual images into the sensual subtleties you include. I'm glad you changed the phrase as suggested in the other review - simple but effective in keeping with the gentility of the poem. When you bring words like soul, prayer, dream, universe, one they allow the experience to be more than just the physical/emotional passion, adding a depth that takes this beyond a build-up to climax. How interesting that if you had left the wording the other way, I would have been jarred by the intrusion- whereas this way it feels as if the voice is not just telling you to come- to sail off to your own pinnacle of primal release, but also to follow where the two hearts could become one. And I must say, it's nice to see someone use that word in sexual context without it feeling like porn. Thanks for a beautiful poem, once again.

[Richard🖌]

How less, Marianne, would sensuality be without spirituality to flow two into one entity of glorious arousal and satiation?
How blessed I feel to have received your beautiful words of praise, appreciation, and rapport with the depth of this enthrallingly sensual piece, M'Lady … I bow most humbly in this rather breathless, auric state you've left me soaring in.

I love the poetry of your words here … hugs to you, Marianne! ⁓ Richard

[Rainee Whiting]

My dearest Richard,

An instrument I became as I read your words. I felt your hands wrap me, your chin press firmly against my surface and your fingers stroke my strings pulled tight. You played me, the vibrations of your thoughts, of your words left me humming a tune that only you would recognize.

"Then, in that moment... inside, lit a flame~
your heart and mine became one and the same."

Beautiful.

[Richard🖌]

Goodness, Rainee, still my heart!

The atmosphere suddenly begins to thrum with life and warmth, as a scintillating glow envelopes my senses with each word of yours that crossed my eyes, my mind, my caressed emotions … it's as though every atom of me's been kissed!
Nothing like a woman's lusty voice, whispering sweet endearments, to stir a man's core, blowing embers to spreading flame … a tune I can't help recognize, indeed.

Such a marvelously befitting pair of lines you've selected, Rainee, to represent, to perfectly augment almost in refrain the enthrallment of your review.
Warmly, gratefully, and irresistibly I bow in captivation … blissfully! ⁓ Richard

[Einstein Noodle]

very wonderful to read ... i did get an idea for a slight change ..instead of "A simple word that beckoned that I "Come" " perhaps A simple word that beckoned me to Come ... just a thought ... naughty little word play there Mr. Bard ;) i feel the warmth and romance with a capital "R" ... young and in love again :)
E.

[Richard🖌]

Thank you, E, for such an encouraging and constructive review to this little number.
It is so very enjoyable to ponder "younger" days, eh? ; )

How inspiring, too, that you took the opportunity to help me with the "that" issue. One of the most important aspects of a poem is that it has as few repeat words as possible, because it reflects a lack of creativity and versatility on its author's part. Just goes to show, despite how mindful one is, they can overlook such in their passionate moments.
Your suggestion is a sound one; thus, I have used it in its exactness.

Thank you again, My Friend, for your excellent review and keen-eyed help in making this a better piece … smiles to you! ⁓ Richard

[Einstein Noodle]

i am so glad it was a positive thing ..and you re-enforce my impressions (as i have no formal education in such things) that repetition many times is as you say .. i am almost ready with my new poem that will at least be in rhythm and rhyme ..not sure if i will try to fit it to a sonnet or some such thing .. so happy to have made your acquaintance ..

[Richard🖌]

"DITTO" here, My Friend! : )
Please, E, let me know when your poem is posted, so i can review it for you.

[Einstein Noodle]

for sure ..still tweaking it a little ;)

[Lyn Anderson]

This is a gorgeous, sensual, sexy piece. Just the right amount of lust -- the format too, is lovely, although the dark background is a little tricky on my computer screen, it is very pretty.

[Richard🖌]

Thank you ever-so gratefully, KL! : )
You've no idea how very happy your appreciation and praise make me feel … I most humbly and joyfully bow!
To me, the poem really is not all that sensual, but the accompanying picture definitely is.
The font is made a lighter color; I hope it helps making your read less tricky.

Big hugs to you, Kind Lady-Poet! ⁓ Richard

[Lyn Anderson]

It is very sensual, in a soft way, which makes it all the more sexy to me.

[Richard🖌]

… *GRIN* …