LIFE'S SWEET MUSIC (let's sway 'n play)

Quickie Form

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Author's Note

One dusted-off from the archives …

"QUICKIE"
(Doubledown Style 2, or Fours 'n Sixes)
Original form created by
Richard W. Jenkins
© 19 Apr 1987

Any number of 6-line verses about anything:
Aligned left or center.

Syllable count per verse:
4/4/6/4/4/6

Rhyme scheme:
xxxa
xxxa
xxxxxb
xxxc
xxxc
xxxxxb

xxxd
xxxd
xxxxxe
xxxf
xxxf
xxxxxe

Etc...

Please, feel free to offer well-meant, constructive critique! : )

Reviews

[barleygirl]

Well written with a strong sense of rhythm & lyrical sway. This might be the peppiest poem I've ever read from you & I'm glad I found it becuz it gives me an expanded viewpoint of all your talent & tendencies! Thanks for putting a little toe-tapping upon our hearts (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Richard🖌]

Good afternoon, Margie 🎸

How surprising you've come across this little toe-tapper… it's buried so far down my list, and from your reaction, I am so happy you did. ; )
I, too, find reading your poetry quite revealing of your various temperaments, bents, and creative skills. I've never tired of your seemingly endless facets … you're a very interesting and inspiring person, to say the least.

It is a lovely pleasure to share something you seem to enjoy so much … with hugs 'n warmest blessings of thanks, Dear Margie ⁓ Richard🍃

[Lacey Sue]

Music is the best way to express yourself because it never leaves you and it's always there when needed

[Richard🖌]

How right you truly are, Hazel ♫

In your words, I can feel the rhythmic beats of your heart and soul.

The thrum is palpable … thank you so much! ⁓ Richard 🍃

[GreenShoes]

I feel that "life's rhythm's" and 'life's beat thrums" and "til life's encore" slows the tongue down and stops the momentum. Otherwise, it's a perky poem that's fun to say out loud.

[Richard🖌]

Thanks for reading this jaunty little piece, Karen.
I am so glad you found something fun and redeeming about it.
Truthfully, considering the generous extent of all your thoughtfully generous reviews, I am somewhat surprised you chose not to follow the list of favorites I made for you … but, I am warmly honored for your attention to my humble efforts, nonetheless.

Most gracious and gratefully warm hugs to thee, Dear Lady-Poet! ⁓ Richard : )

[GreenShoes]

No, I am following the list. I've read the Haiku, Senryu, Concrete, Quickie, Rhyme Royal, English Limerick, Diminished Hexaverse, Sedoka, and maybe more, but I didn't leave a review for every one. Once in a while, I need time to think about a poem before I can write a comment. The link to your Rhyming Couplets didn't take me to the poem, but I think I found it anyway. I really wish WC had the vote button (or Like button on Facebook) that Wattpad has; it helps to let a writer know you read the poem and like it. It also comes in handy when you see a poem again, you'll instantly know you've already read that poem.

[Richard🖌]

True, there are so many features the Café could have that would be useful, but I never enjoyed the sites that allowed reviewers to simply let the writer know their work had been read and move on … it smacks of laziness, and I always enjoy the value of a well-written, constructive, and helpful review … those like yours, that repay a writer for their earnest efforts. Reviewing is an art in itself.
Of course, on here, if you've reviewed a poem, your review is always at the top of all others on every poem, and if you haven't, your review will not appear at the top.
I am humbled and appreciative of anything of mine you choose, Karen, but since you read and reviewed others than on the list, I had no idea you'd only "read" the ones on the list, but it's nice to know you did, although, I have no idea what you thought of them … perhaps, after you've thought them over for awhile, eh? : )
Sorry about that bad URL link, Karen. The Rhyming Couplets piece is a poem titled "the TREE" http://www.writerscafe.org/writing/RichardJ/1550785/

[Susan 🦋]

I love this form..one of my favorite..as you know. Cute little piece! Happy and joyful...just gotta keep swaying through life I suppose..

[Richard🖌]

Thanks, Susan,
Glad you enjoyed this one! : )
But, this is not a Free Verse … LOL!

[Susan 🦋]

I know that! :-p

[Richard🖌]

Ha-hahhhh!

[George Coombs]

A real sense of rythm and beatto this one Richard, in the concluding verse I especially liked the idea of 'lifes encore bringing peace'-overall a lovely light hearted piece with an especially well chosen image

[Richard🖌]

Another lovely review in praise, enjoyment,and appreciation, George, from a lovely fellow poet … what more could weathered olde bard wish for?

Thank you, My Friend …
readers like you are why I share my poems! ⁓ Richard : )

[George Coombs]

Your welcome Richard

[Hyacinth]

Honestly speaking, I personally do not see any fault in this piece. It is beautifully written and the thought you put in it is obvious. Another lovely piece.

[Richard🖌]

A million thanks, Hyacinth!

How happy it makes me to know you've enjoyed this rhythmic little piece of rhyming poetry.
Your compliments, expressed appreciation, and praise are the honest pay a hopeful bard desires when he takes pen to hand, planning to share his wares.

Warmest thanks to you, My Fine 'n Newest Friend! ⁓ Richard

[Marianne Rose]

I like the beat, for me, building from foot-tapping to stomping, nicely coming to a close in a denouement. There are a few places that a word choice seems to detract- for me- only an opinion - the first stanza nicely sets the pace and at the same time uses a unique voice- especially when read aloud. The second stanza loses some of the beauty of phrasing in the lines "such joy it brings" and "dance to and fro"- more obvious when read aloud. Maybe "what joy it brings!" But that makes the next line not quite fit . . . Wish I could hear alternate phrases for the middle of this otherwise joyful and happy read. Thanks for the taste of music in your soul.

[Richard🖌]

Thank you, Lady Marianne, ever-so, warmly! : )
It is, indeed, exalting to know you like this piece with such feeling and enjoyment, in so descriptive a way.
I've really enjoyed your take on it, your encouraging praise and attempt to help set it into better flow.
I know you've mentioned my choice of wording in a couple of my other efforts, too, referring to the "younger" readers having trouble, and in this one have tried my best to read it in such a way I can grasp what it you see has an issue.
I've read it fast, I've read it slow, considering there might be a punctuation glitch throwing you off, giving every inflection to those parts, but was able to find anything detracting only when reading them in as distorted a manner as possible … honestly, the wording sets a beat and rhythm, and near-perfect flow.
It certainly is my goal that every reader will enjoy my work without undue distraction, stumbling, or breaks in flow, even though I know it is impossible to, due to the many various ways folk read them.
Perhaps, you can elaborate with more candor or clarity for me to see it, too, si i can make the necessary changes that will bring it into focus, without altering the spirit and feel of the poem, itself.
"What" is a question word, or a word expressing "that which", and neither definition fits properly what I mean when substituting it for "such".
I honestly cannot perceive the least bit of what you're referring to (and, i've seriously tried), Marianne … I hope you can somehow help me. Maybe, someone else will read this and toss-in their 2¢ worth in a way that will enlighten me; I hope so …"HELP!"

Call me frustratingly thick (LOL), Dear Marianne, and paint me happy to have such a thoughtfully generous effort extended to help me better my skills … hugs 'n blessings! ⁓ Richard

[Marianne Rose]

Ah, dear Richard, the intuitive me often gets in the way- telling me something is a little off, but I do not articulate it well- perhaps I hardly know myself! Maybe too many hymns sung with the words " joy" and "bring" in the phrase, or too many times I've heard "to and fro" - it's not the rhythm that makes me stick on the words, but the words themselves- I think I've come to expect new ways of saying things from you- and the rest of the poem delivers these fresh and layered/deeper phrases "my mind it sways to heaven's beat on earth", "life's rhythm given birth", "life's beat thrums deep within", and the whole last stanza exactly as it is - all putting words together in ways I haven't heard or seen. Perhaps that's why those two phrases stand out for me as not quite worthy of the rest of the poem, just because I've come to expect every phrase to be something I've never heard before. Anyway- please don't take it too seriously or feel overly critiqued! I certainly didn't mean to offend or frustrate you! Always ~ your friend, Marianne

[Richard🖌]

Dearest Marianne,
Thank you ever-so humbly and gratefully.
I am NEVER offended or frustrated when another poet is trying to help me. I take everything a poetess says to me seriously; especially, when it comes to poetry, and now I understand what you were trying to drill into my thick head … LOL!
I guess I am such a simple man it never dawned on me the easy wording in this lighthearted, jaunty piece needed to be anything other than simple, too.
I know most every work can be improved-on, and I'll give those lines some honest thought … thanks to your keen eye. : )

Big HUGS! ⁓ Richard

[Susheel Sharma]

The poem creates music and one starts thumping as one prepares to listen to the music of the earth.

[Richard🖌]

Many grateful thanks, Susheel,
A big "WELCOME!" to my pages and to the WritersCafé.
I hope you will enjoy it here and make it your writing home.
There are many good folk here and some excellent variety of writing on all levels and genre.

Thank you most appreciatively for your very enjoyed commentary … blessings! ⁓ Richard

[Lyn Anderson]

This is a great form for such a lively piece. I shall have to try it out soon.

[Richard🖌]

Thanks, KL! : )
Your praise is truly gratifying and warmly welcomed.
There's not one scintilla of doubt you'd do this form wondrous justice!
Please, let me know if/when you have one posted so i can review it for you.

Thanks a million, M'Dear Lady-Poet! ⁓ Richard

[Einstein Noodle]

that is an oldie! enjoyed reading ..caught the beat it didn't retreat .. got me standing off my seat :) fun and uplifting .. very much enjoyed reading
E.

[Richard🖌]

Thanks for the read, E! : )
I think my oldest one on here is from 1976, "The TREE", and it just won a contest; so, I'm guessing it's not lost much of its luster.
I like to grab one from the archives and share it to see if it still has any oomph left in it, and I can be sure if it doesn't, one of the keen-eyed/knowing poets on here is going to tell me … LOL!

How happy it makes me to know you've enjoyed this quick-paced little toe-tapping number! : )

You've made my day shine brighter! ⁓ Richard