when You take the New Roads (go, Thee, with great care)

English Sonnet Doublet (while teaching KLGoode [Lyn Anderson] the Sonnet, it got me in the mood to write one)

when You take the New Roads

Upon that day You take the new roads there,
be ever mindful of the ways You choose;
remember, too, the ones You leave still care,
that all their hearts and souls ~ you'll never lose.

The road ahead may seem a brighter way,
the visions far … You feel a longing lure,
and everywhere You look … a bright, new day;
then, looking back you'll see naught but a blur.

A sort of wavy imagery that fades,
of faces you once knew that smile no more ...
where colours once, now grey and shadowed shades,
as memory becomes a closing door.

Yet, so much more (unknown) is calling now,
and all you've known seems useless now somehow.

We'll miss your tender love and gentle hand,

that always knew the touch and words to say,
Whenever’s needed your sweet, special brand
to warm cold dark and sweep the clouds away.

With You, be sure to take all that you'll need;
You know, those little things that were the best ...
like poems, love, and promises decreed,
each tender heartbeat made within our breasts.

Aye, heed the road ahead … its luring call;
and, tarry not lest roads ahead fade, too.
As all you leave here far behind grows small,
remember, Dear  ~ I'll always wait for You.

Tho, those new roads may take You far away,
you’ll always be my first breath ~ every day.

Richard W. Jenkins
©2016

Author's Note

Top painting: Watercolor, courtesy of Wikimedia Commons
Landscape oil painting: by Carl Milton-Jensen (1855-1928) Danish artist

Please, feel free to offer critique or comment on anything you feel will help better my skills! : )

Reviews

[Marianne Rose]

This poem fills me with emotional ambivalence, a warning within an invitation within a wistful imagining of doors closing and paths opening. I walk forward on the new path with you, looking back to see the fading memories, sad and grieving, then filled with expectation of something new, a roller coaster of emotions. Another warning to take everything I need fills me with anxiety- will I forget something important? More gentle fluttering of anxiety- will I be caught between the past and the future- if I do not hurry, the road ahead will fade just like the road behind did. The anxiety is hidden behind beautiful words, barely felt, but it is there, prodding me forward. Confusion- how can you wait for me as I travel far away, the road behind fading? Maybe it is in the heart you wait, beyond the path, beyond time and space. The last line is piercing to the heart- that she will always be your first breath, everyday. Such joy mingled with loss there. A beautiful poem, with all the paradoxical emotions love brings us. Thank you, Richard. I don't really feel qualified to critique the form, novice that I am. I can only say that there are places that old-fashioned words feel slightly out of place, because the whole of the poem does not read like a classical poem, like Shakespeare, but like a poem that is written in our current language. (Words like aye, naught, tarry not) But that's just my opinion based on how the words seemed to lessen the emotional impact for me. Beautiful work, my friend.

[Richard🖌]

Goodness, Marianne!
How I ever missed your amazingly beautiful and rewarding review for this piece I can't imagine, but I love it, everything you've expressed wraps me in your warmth, camaraderie, and relatable emotion, feelings, and enthralling thoughts, a masterpiece of poetry in itself.
The "olde fashioned" words you speak of are from the very breath of timeless poetry, Marianne, neither old or new, but from the very lexicon of life … without them, this work would lose a part of its soul.

Bless you with all the equal joy and happiness your enthralling review has gifted me, Dear Lady-Poet! ⁓ Richard

[Tomás Ó C..]

An enjoyable read... and I loved the pictures too!

[Richard🖌]

" Thanks! "

[Richard🖌]

It's nice to know you enjoyed them, Tomás … blessings, My Friend! ⁓ RJ

[Corset]

what a beautiful dedication to KL, there seems to be a running theme that KL is departing on a journey and that she'll be missed, are you going somewhere KL?

[Richard🖌]

Hm?
I guess I should have simply said working with her Sonnet inspired me to write one, as this definitely is not a poem about anyone in particular, Dear Poetess.

Thank you for reading me, Lady Fellow-Texan, and for your friendship. : )
I'll be by to read and review for you soon! ⁓ Richard

[Corset]

Oh good news, Thank you :)

[Lyn Anderson]

I love the palpable sadness of this piece, though I feel guilty -- minor edits -- that pesky quotation thing the cafe' does, and an its that is possessive possessing an apostrophe.

[Richard🖌]

Thanks a zillion, KL, for having my back.
I've done that "it's" thing a couple of times lately, and thank goodness you were there each time to help me sort it out … call it dotage! : )
When using dashes in writing, I often overlook changing them before posting here. They should do something about that nuisance, eh?
Guilty? Why should you feel guilty about offering a bard a helping hand … you are valued and appreciated!

Thanks, again, for reading and reviewing this piece, and for the corrections.
Hugs 'n blessings! ⁓ Richard

[Richard🖌]

Oh, and I sincerely wanted to let you know that not all my Sonnets are about mushy love, sensual heat, or need leave one with a sense of contrived feeling from its rigid (syllable-counting) structure … LOL!
Hope I've succeeded on those points, at least! ⁓ RJ

[emmajoy]

There really is a touch of past phrasing running throughout this poem, you've followed 'sonnet' lines and form with apparent ease.

There's such gentle but beautiful sadness (pathos, if you like), in the following; so often today's poets (like myself) shun form, afraid it will appear stilted. You have not:

We'll miss your tender love and gentle hand, - that always knew the touch and words to say, - Whenever’s needed your sweet, special brand - to warm cold dark and sweep the clouds away.

[Richard🖌]

Hi, Em! : )

I've so missed you, your knowing and understandings, your keen, gentle touches at just the right places and needed ways to fulfill, gratify, and assure me we relate.

I am so very pleased and happy in your choice of lines, as with your praise and expressed appreciation to my humble efforts.

Hugs and warmest blessings of thanks — bless you for blessing me … it is such a beautiful day! ⁓ Richard