The River, the Clouds, and Us.... (longing)

The River, the Clouds, and Us.... (longing)

A Poem by Richard🖌
"

Free Verse

"

© 2023 Richard🖌


Author's Note

Richard🖌
Picture: compliments of Wikimedia Commons.

Something set me into a wispy, dreamlike, drifting-off mood.

Please, feel free to offer critique, or anything you feel will help improve this piece! : )

My Review

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Featured Review

I love the cloudy images -- that stanza in particular is striking. The feeling of falling in love with a moody person, and the speaker is the calm anchor ...

one minor thing, I am sure it is just a typo or pesky auto-correct, but its journey does not require an apostrophe, unless there is something in that sentence I am missing.

Posted 8 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

Richard🖌

8 Years Ago

That you've again blessed one of my pieces, KL … how very happy this makes me feel!
Then, t.. read more



Reviews

I could barely separate the transition between the river and the cloud to
the couple.
In my head the couple, the river and cloud had become one.
I sniff a lovers’ tiff as peace, solitude and reflection halted abruptly.
She rained on your parade!
The impulsive temperamental cloud and the strong ,silent, resilient and faithful river.
What a brilliant way to mesh nature and human temperaments.
This is a priceless piece, It felt like a play within a play.

Thank you for sharing Richard.
I quite enjoyed reading it.



Posted 4 Hours Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Richard🖌

3 Hours Ago

How lovely, Titilayo 🌼

That you've accepted my rare invitation to share this rathe.. read more
Titilayo Sarah Eguridu

3 Hours Ago

It’s like an orchestra opening to “ Rain”
It’s uncanny!
Richard🖌

3 Hours Ago

You're sooo delightful!
A perfect metaphor between the clouds and a girl and boy...This made me think...I need to work on my metaphors...Thanks a lot....The choice of words...Gives something so calming....As if the girl was calm when saying it...Giving complexities to the story...I love poetry that makes me read it over and over....I love this a lot I am very thankful

Posted 2 Weeks Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Richard🖌

3 Hours Ago

Greetings, Snow!

How wonderful it is to know you've found favor in this rather emotio.. read more
I like the cycle of evaporating emotion and thought. Brought to mind the water cycle and how every drop of water has always been here. Like energy, cannot be created or destroyed. And like love, so powerful and fragile. Fluid thoughts Richard that quenched my thirst.


Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Richard🖌

2 Years Ago

Thank you, William, ever-so gratefully 🤜✫🤛

I think the technique of blending .. read more
Richard, what do you think of stripping out lines 11 and 12 and starting that stanza at “I “?
Winston

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Richard🖌

2 Years Ago

I think you have some very odd ideas about poetry, as a'judged by what you've said to me in reviews .. read more
W. Barrett Munn

2 Years Ago

Most likely it’s best to go our own ways with good wishes as far as public responses. However, I a.. read more
Richard🖌

2 Years Ago

I think your first sentence is best.
You've really nothing to offer I can appreciate, nor can.. read more
thanks for the suggestion to read this lovely poem Richard. Really enjoyed the journey. great image of bullying clouds

Ken e

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Richard🖌

2 Years Ago

Thanks for the read, Ken, and your compliment … glad you enjoyed it. RJ
Another wonderful~inspiring poem...Full of metaphors...
"hoping to hear what the moments held"..No two are exactly the same..Dark clouds and white clouds.. great metaphors for all of us.. Moody and not...and dealing with whatever the one you love is...not easy..
Sitting in nature, especially by the sound of the river can be so rewarding....I feel it brings us back to ourselves..
I could be wrong and excuse me if I am, but it feels as though in the poem the writer has gone off to ponder his relationship...perhaps a disagreement? Trying to understand his loves moody nature... The line ....determined to face any challenge and get back to the sea.. Tells me he will never give up on his love for this person...
I love, love, love this poem Richard..
Lisa

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Lisasview

2 Years Ago

Hi Richard,
I see that you say this has been revised...honestly do not know where??? But love.. read more
Richard🖌

2 Years Ago

Thank you for reading it again, Lisa.
I didn't say i't been revised, the site said Upgraded b.. read more
Lisasview

2 Years Ago

Oh, no wonder I could not see a difference..
Lisa, leaving for Tarragona early tomorrow morni.. read more
I was searching for this one wanting to read it again and maybe be inspired...and gosh.. this really tears... still, no one can deny the masterpiece it is. a masterpiece not only with emotions, the most fragile and powerful one inside the being, but also the deep, deep, deep wisdom... outstanding, really outstanding how You mange to give your art like that, and how You deliver your lessons of how to live, how to love... in a special spectacular way that only the hearts can caught it because it's not in the written words but in the feelings and experiences felt while reading, most of all, and I am stunned at myself how I never noticed it my own, I told You I prefer to be a snowflake rather than a star, and same I prefer to be a cloud rather than a star... and your words opened my eyes to new image of this, I guess yes... the star is a star always shining, but I am more like the cloud, changing from being gentle to being harsh, from being completely fragile to be completely powerful... for opening my eyes to this new perspective, I thank You specially. still this is but a master breathtaking diamond.

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Richard🖌

2 Years Ago

Ah-so, My Little Ichi-bon (#1) ⛩️

A second bite of the apple, eh?
Well, we.. read more
lightsong

2 Years Ago

You always amaze me how You express "Me" better than I ever could :> maybe after 2449869 years of wr.. read more
I loved the personification of the clouds and weather in this piece. It fit the poem really well. While reading this “free verse” style poem, I recognize how important the punctuation and syntax is, without it, the poem wouldn’t strike and intrigue us as much as it does! Of course, the words are amazing, but to keep the reader engaged is to utilize your punctuation for sure… I am now better learning and gaining a complete understanding of the free verse poem. This was lovely to read, and gave me a deep feeling of nostalgia, with a vivid image painted the entire time through. Thank you for sharing…
Marina

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Richard🖌

3 Years Ago

Ahhh, Lovely Marina 🌺

Something in your lilting voice you speak beckons to the hop.. read more
Wow I wish my man was as calm as the way you portray here for I'm as calm as the calmest sea but my man is like your moody partner 'ready to dampen everything at the slightest provocation ' like you say in this wry dreamy awesome creatively expressed poem. Kudos!!!
I don't think I would be able to come online for a few weeks so if I don't respond and write further you will know why, dear great poet!

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Richard🖌

3 Years Ago

Ahhh, Lovely Lady Zaynab 😌

"For a few weeks," you say?
You surely shall be .. read more
this is lovely, I love nature and love entwined. Nature is one of the greatest muses out there. You write very well and pull me into your world.

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Richard🖌

3 Years Ago

Thank you ever-so warmly, Dear Patricia🌦

For such a beautiful review.
The t.. read more
Patricia

3 Years Ago

Oh, you are such a charmer! I, of course, will come to visit
Richard🖌

3 Years Ago

I'll leave a light on 🔆

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3489 Views
67 Reviews
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Added on June 29, 2016
Last Updated on December 23, 2023

Author

Richard🖌
Richard🖌

USA, TX



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