Bound Hearts ⁓ (gratitude to love)

Fours 'n Eights

     

Author's Note

"FOURS 'N EIGHTS"
an original form
by: Richard W. Jenkins
© 16 Oct 1998

RULES:
Unlimited quatrain verses with the following Counts:
4-4
8
4-4
8

With the following Rhyme Scheme:
a-a
b
a-a
b

c-c
d
c-c
d

etc…
(I'll love it if you try one. If you do, please, let me know, so i can review it for you.)

All honest, constructive critique is welcome! : )

Reviews

[AliciaB]

This poem is absolutely beautiful. First of all, I am deeply impressed by your creation of such an intricate and lovely poetic form - that takes talent, and you definitely have it! I am personally a huge fan of internal rhyme, so this form is especially interesting to me. I really like the lines "for, love I send, our songs to blend / by virtue of fate's fervent choice" - lovely alliteration there. The simile of "your breath's as fine as bouqet'd wine, / soft whispers breathe against my face" is also beautiful. My absolute favorite part, however, is the final two stanzas. The image of tears and the complex, profound reasons for their shedding are uniquely portrayed and touching in their sincerity. My favorite part of all: "each heartbeat shares how much it cares, / bound hearts - as one, together rise." I cannot adequately express how beautiful those lines are to me. Thank you for sharing this. You are truly talented. Excellent, excellent work!

[Richard🖌]

"Goodness-ME, Alice!"

Ya gotta be careful to avoid swelling my head to the size my hat will no longer fit. ; )

Just teasing … I love every sweet, encouraging, and inspiringly warming word and accolade you've caressed and frosted me with. Now, where is that rope, so I can pull myself back down to earth.

What an honor it would be if you tried this form.
Hugs 'n blessings to You, Dear Lady-Poet! ⁓ Richard 🍃

[Cara]

wow amazing. thank you for writing this

[Richard🖌]

Thank you, too, Cara! : )
It is a joyful pleasure to creatively write and share poems with my lady poetesses and fellow poets! ⁓ Richard

[Raylene]

Richard this is beautiful though remember not all of us have your vocabulary so when using words like twas may need explaining yet like always you enchanted me with you writing of love as a true poet I admire you along with other poets here.

[Richard🖌]

Thank you, Dear Raylene!
Ever-so warmly and graciously, I love your words of praise and enjoyment … and, most especially that you've tossed me in with other poets you admire here … I'm honored.

'twas (twəz): literally, the common contraction of "it was", used in this instance for poetical voice and in assuring the required line-count for this form is met. Other examples of contraction are: "shan't" for "shall not", "ne'er" for "never", "you'd" for "you would", etc; and, I hope this clears-up any confusion ('twas) caused, M'Dear.

Certainly, 'twas enjoyable, too, hearing I am still capable of enchanting a lady! ; )
Smiles 'n warmest hugs, Raylene ⁓ Richard

[Raylene]

No I know what twas means I meant for young readers I knew what twas was at 8 my dear

[Richard🖌]

Hm, I see?

[Richard🖌]

My response was prompted completely by your comment, "not all of 'us' have your vocabulary" æ so, how as I to know otherwise?
Well, glad we cleared that up, and for any whom run across words they do not understand, there's always the Dictionary … LOL!

[Raylene]

True dear haha

[William Liston]

In all of the poems I've read by you, the imagery is gorgeous; it is as if I can feel my soul melting with each syllable. Your poetry has a cathartic, yet tenuous feel to it that makes me feel as if I am floating on clouds. Usually, when I read a powerful poem--a poem that fills my heart with the utmost emotion, it's usually a very sorrowful one. The joyful poems I read are usually filled with cliches and vague images that bore me after the first two lines; you, however, have an original voice to your poetry. I hope to write as well as you one day. I also hope to be able to write more joyful poems as opposed to the sad ones I usually write. You're such an inspiration to me. Keep up the great work.

[Richard🖌]

Thank you, William, ever-so humbly and gratefully!
The sentiments and sensations you've expressed for and experienced from this poem are certainly rewarding to an olde bard's happy eyes and heart, My Friend … you have, indeed, rewarded my humble efforts.
It truly heartens me, no end, knowing (to you) I am "such an inspiration" … this is a personally treasured reward far and beyond any I could have expected, but it surely is that which every dedicated teacher hopes for.

Bless you, Dear Burgeoning Poet … you're a radiant spark in my darkest night! ⁓ Richard

[William Liston]

Hello Richard,

This poem inspired me to write "Pain and A Pen ~ (The Ideal Poet)." Although it doesn't fit your four's and eight's form, I did apply some aspects of internal rhyme that were present in this piece. In my poem, I combined the ballade, the kyrielle, and the four's and eight's forms.

Here's the link: http://www.writerscafe.org/writing/ColemanListon/1862851/

[The Critic]

I love this poem. The rhyme scheme and rhythm throughout was just brilliant. I could feel the emotion in this piece. I loved the lines "not hurtful fears or saddened tears/ but silver rivers from soft eyes;" the imagery in those lines really conveyed the romantic mood you were going for. Not including you, there are three poets who I really like on this site (in order of most favorite to least favorite, they are William Liston, mattavelli, and kitty blur, the latter two of which I've yet to review), and I must say that you are certainly the most skilled that I've read so far. By skilled, I'm talking about your ability in rhyme, punctuation, versatility, meter, vocabulary, and overall finesse. Great job on this poem.

[Richard🖌]

Many thanks, Ern! : )
I am very happy you found such positivity with this romantic little number, but small wonder, because it's composed in that Iambic tetrameter rhythm/beat/tempo you expressed so very much favoring.
Nice choice of artists you've selected as favorites, too … coincidentally, I've taught both William and Matt, but Kitty Blur is new to me … I'll have to take a look-see (on your recommendation).
It's a relief to know you've included me in your list, as from how you began, "Not including you, there are three poets who I really like," had me drooping a bit … LOL!
Thank you humbly and gratefully for your nicely gratifying compliments to my skill.

Thank you for selecting this one to read, comment-on, and enjoy … blessings! ⁓ Richard

[Richard🖌]

I had reviewed Kitty's "pavlov's dog" a week ago … too many to recall them all.
Ern, you've made some nice choices, I think!
It would be nice to see what "The Critic" can produce … hint, hint! ; )

[abundant]

...don't care much for the structure...but these words...oh..they touch the heart! Beautiful! awww..
Blessings:0
Neala♥

[Richard🖌]

Thank you warmly and sincerely, Neala, for letting me how how much my words touched you, and for the lovely, encouraging compliment.
I feel so gratified knowing (despite the unlikable form) you were able to find favor in this humble piece … hugs 'n many happy blessings! ⁓ Richard

[abundant]

you are very welcome:)

[Lyn Anderson]

Well constructed and beautifully formatted and written.

[Richard🖌]

Thank you kindly for your read, and the always gratifying praise.
Many blessings! ⁓ Richard

[R.M.C]

Well, Richard, what possible compliments could I bestow that would equal the appraise your poem deserves. We all know you are adept at creating a flow to go with the words, but I feel this poem surpasses a few of your others in this regard. Your rhymes are not only pleasant on the ears, but smoothly accentuate this flow, the living heart of your poem, lifting the feelings right of the page and right into our own hearts. Your use of using the heart as a physical embodiment of ones deepest feelings is exceptionally suited to the poem - especially with the title. Though there are a few lines which are superb, the one that grabs me the most is at the end (bound hearts - as one, together rise), which I feel ends the poem on a high, as it's very expressive of the overall grandeur and power of 'Love', making it clear within a few choice words that love is the key to fulfillment and enlightenment in this world, a bridge between ourselves and a higher power - which some may perceive as God (as 'God' or Allah etc). Lastly, your vocabulary is impressive and used to great effect, adding an edge of sophistication to your poetry .

[Richard🖌]

Truly, Ross, I thank you most sincerely! : )
You have blessed this humble little piece in every possible manner I can think of it can be, and what appreciative bard would not dream of a fellow-poet's adoration and praise to fill his coffers with the gratuity his ink needs to energize and dance his creative wares upon the page?
I cannot answer that, because it is precisely all I write and share in hopes for.
Your take and praise on this piece, by far, exceeds my expectations, but I don't plan on returning any of … LOL!
Bless you, my fine poet friend, for that which you so unselfishly and generously gift to us all … bless and much happiness sent your way! ⁓ Richard

[R.M.C]

Much happiness (and many more years of beautiful writing) sent back to you Richard.

[Sunita Jugran]

Its a beautifully flowing poem...And I will give it a try. My dearest friend is a poet and he writes such wonderful rhyming poems. And your poem reminded me of his work. I try to rhyme, but at times the poem passes me by while I am counting my syllables. I find it easy to write down quickly whatever is going on in my mind. But I am definitely going to try this ...and if I fail, please don't hang me.

Now, for your poem. Its filled with so much love and tenderness. Yearning and longing...It makes one smile through tears. I love the way it retains love in separation too, instead of going bitter. A beautiful, tender song of forever love. very well done.

[Richard🖌]

Hi, Sunita! : )
I welcome you warmly*
You've genuinely blessed this little poem of love with your kind, appreciative sweetness.
How very wonderful you have a dearest friend, whom is an accomplished poet … it makes friendship so much more full, enjoyable, and meaningful, eh?
I certainly understand how writing in rhyme and meter cam interfere in natural thought, feeling, and flow for those whom are not yet practiced or skilled, but as with anything worthwhile achieving, it requires proper learning, understanding, and practice until it becomes a natural part of one's skills. One must first crawl and learn the surface before standing, learn to stand before they walk, and must master walking before they and run and jump … then, soon it will come natural and free, and after awhile, if the potential exist with a fire in the belly, a poet will master many forms of poetry and have a great arsenal to compose-in that expresses most precisely and exacting whatever it is they wish to release from the mind, heart, and soul.
To have you give my form a try is an honor I will glow with throughout my being. Please, let me know when you have, that I may read, enjoy, and review it.

Hugs 'n many blessing of deepest gratitude and thanks for your stirring review, Dear Poetess! ⁓ Richard

[Sunita Jugran]

:) Thank you for all the love and blessings you showered :) I certainly hope to be real good friends with you. And one day, I will write one poem that will be just PERFECT :)

[Richard🖌]

Happy hugs to you, Sunita! ⁓ RJ