I would love you to try this form (it is an easy, enjoyable form to learn and make flow), and if you do, please, let me know, so I can read and review it for you.
Thank you so very much for reading this sweet sensual dream poem … here’s hoping you’ve enjoyed it!
Painting: Oil on canvas, from Wikimedia Commons.
Constructive critique is always welcomed! : )
My Review
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Oh I like this new form, and I might be able to reproduce it since it has no particular meter, we will see what I come up with.
Great imagery all through this and I'm not sure I can pick out one line or stanza that I particularly like more than others. Passion to make the gods blush, and tangos from Bolero, added to doves coo (I'm thinking mourning doves) adds up to a successful poem with an intriguing new form to play with.
never disappointed when I visit, you my friend.
Posted 8 Years Ago
2 of 2 people found this review constructive.
8 Years Ago
Beautiful review for this little number, Jan … thanks a million!
That you like my form is e.. read moreBeautiful review for this little number, Jan … thanks a million!
That you like my form is especially gratifying and pleasing to a hopeful bard's ernest efforts.
With your brilliant skills composing in one of my forms, it excites me more than just a little … please, let me know if and when you do.
You do know how to make me violently blush, and HOW!
Thank you so much, Jan, for praising and appreciating me … it means far more than mere words.
Hugs! ⁓ Richard
This comment has been deleted by this poetry author.
That was fantastic!! Bravo! And the form is great! One minor thing, I wouldn't have used the word entwined twice, but this poem was brilliant! :)))
Posted 7 Years Ago
7 Years Ago
Oh, there's a slight typo in the title.
7 Years Ago
Thanks, lovely poetess!
I am so pleased you came to share this piece with me, Karen, and ever.. read moreThanks, lovely poetess!
I am so pleased you came to share this piece with me, Karen, and ever-so grateful for your help in setting the wee glitches in my work straight.
You're, also, a true gem to praise my humble efforts so inspiringly … hugs to you! ⁓ Richard : )
Oh oh oh Richard these are the hottest and most beautiful sex lines I ever read and they have me pulsing and blushing too
Ne'er before had came
such wild, fiery flame
to bloom full her pulsing rosebud.
Each heart, soul, and mind
with fervor entwined,
frames mated in climax-arched rush.
Warm, pearl rivers flowed ~
lovemaking bestowed
with passion that made the gods blush.
and they leave me wondering what you'd whisper in a girl's ear while making love, a dreamy thought to have mm I need to lay down for a spell -- thank you! ;)
HUGGS!
Sammi
Why don't you drop by for a read. ;)
Posted 7 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
7 Years Ago
Goodness, Sammi,
Why don't you tell me how you really feel … LOL!
True, it is a bit .. read moreGoodness, Sammi,
Why don't you tell me how you really feel … LOL!
True, it is a bit hot in spots, but I didn't think you'd mind, and obviously you didn't. ; )
As to what I'd whisper, you'll have to use your fertile imagination, which appears to be firing on all cylinders, oh-MY!
"I need to lay down for a spell" … ha-hahhh. it really hit you hard, eh?
Think I might drops your place for a read … I appreciate the invite.
Thank you ever-so "warmly" for a review that rivals the poem … big hugs! ⁓ Richard ; )
This is gorgeous. Your layout...produces a very fluid read. And to take something so intimate and to paint it so beautifully. Well that in itself takes a rare kind of talent. Thank you for taking me here. I saved it, I might like to try your rhyme scheme, which could be tricky. My muse has been silent for years. You'll might have noticed that all my work on the café is quite old.
Posted 7 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
7 Years Ago
To receive such high praise and expressed enjoyment from a writer of your caliber is, indeed, wonder.. read moreTo receive such high praise and expressed enjoyment from a writer of your caliber is, indeed, wonderfully pleasurable gratification, Dear Poetess, and to know you thought enough about it to save it is beyond my most hopeful expectations.
If you should undertake to compose in my original form, that would bless me ever-so sweetly … please, let me know if you do; I'd love to read and review it for you, and if you might need a helping hand, just tap me on the shoulder and we'll hammer it out together.
I did notice the age of your posts, but we know good poetry is ageless, eh?
Thank you, too, for gracing me, Beth … you're a sparkling star! 🌟 ⁓ Richard : )
"There was nothing spared,
their ecstasy flared
a spark to ignite coldest blood.
Ne'er before had came
such wild, fiery flame
to bloom full her pulsing rosebud."
I loved this stanza the most! Enjoyed the whole imagery as well as the photo which fits really well with this piece.
"Two hearts wed into one" is a very romantic line for sure..
Great piece, Richard :)
Posted 7 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
7 Years Ago
How beautifully gifted your words, Lady Yumna … thank you sincerely.
What a lovely lines yo.. read moreHow beautifully gifted your words, Lady Yumna … thank you sincerely.
What a lovely lines you've chosen to highlight … I, too, favor their touch quite well.
Your thoughtful praise and enjoyment both gratify and inspire my humble efforts … happy hugs, Dear Lady-Poet! ⁓ Richard : )
7 Years Ago
You're welcome, Richard! Always a pleasure reading your works 😊
Ohhh...! These words are so soft and gentle ..."two hearts Wed as one"...this is what lovers do...they just forget themselves and just become one.... unaware of the foundations the world has made...only one person in their eyes and one thought in their mind...wow I just love it,it is so beautiful
Posted 7 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
7 Years Ago
My-MY, Dear Ghanishtha!
You're spoiling me ever-so sweetly with the loveliness of your expres.. read moreMy-MY, Dear Ghanishtha!
You're spoiling me ever-so sweetly with the loveliness of your expressed enjoyment, appreciation, and praise of my romantic poetic renderings.
How gratifying it is to know I've connected so meaningfully and deeply with another through my poetry … warm thank you hugs! ⁓ Richard : )
Love the tone and descriptions, beautifully written. Poetic indeed!
Posted 8 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
8 Years Ago
Gosh!
I am so sorry I missed your sweetly positive review to this warming little number, Dear.. read moreGosh!
I am so sorry I missed your sweetly positive review to this warming little number, Dear Poetess.
I cannot thank you enough for this happy smile on my face and in my heart … hugs 'n happy blessings! ⁓ Richard : )
just had to pause on that 5th verse ..imagining the gods blushing ..and the closing verse is sublime and one (at 67) i can relate to .. memories of fiery bites from Aphrodite,s apple ... ahhhhhh when we were young! but i will not count meself down ... no no no! the depths and subtleties of love aged are savory and fine indeed! ;) great read ..enjoyed much .. and i like the form ..it seems it is not quite as confining as others ...
E.
ps the painting is a good fit :)
Posted 8 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
8 Years Ago
Diolch yn fawr iawn, fy mrawd Celtaidd : )
It's such words in review as yours, E, th.. read moreDiolch yn fawr iawn, fy mrawd Celtaidd : )
It's such words in review as yours, E, that makes writing and sharing one's years in developing their expressive, imaginative writing skills, and art-form feel all the more worthwhile, and for the treasured gifts of your expressed enjoyment and praise, I most humbly and gratefully bow.
Yes, E, this form is designed to create its own sense of ease and flow … why not give it a go? It is fun and just the right amount of challenge to inspire even the most accomplished amongst us.
Bless you and your day, My Friend, for your fine, inspiring review! ⁓ Richard
maybe it is just the form i need for the poem i told you i was working on .. i have copied and will .. read moremaybe it is just the form i need for the poem i told you i was working on .. i have copied and will paste it so i have it handy .. thanks so much!
8 Years Ago
How excited the thought, E, and how honored I would be.
if/when you have yours posted, whethe.. read moreHow excited the thought, E, and how honored I would be.
if/when you have yours posted, whether in this form or another, please, let me know … you're so very welcome, Fy Chyfaill! :)
Hello Richard,
Before I write a rhyming poem, I usually decide on the structure of the stanzas first. I'm working on a poem right now, and I just realized that it fits this form. What a coincidence. It really wasn't in my intention to use this form. I structured the lines in each stanza as follows:
When I got to third stanza, I thought 'this fits one of Richard's forms,' so I just thought I'd tell you.
But enough about me...as for this poem, I really enjoyed it. It was very romantic and filled my heart with warmth. A very well-written poem to say the least. Great job.
-William Liston
Posted 8 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
8 Years Ago
By the way, the rhyme scheme also fits this form. I just noticed that I only mentioned syllable coun.. read moreBy the way, the rhyme scheme also fits this form. I just noticed that I only mentioned syllable count in my review.
8 Years Ago
Thank you again, William,
I am most happy to have another of your always interesting, gratify.. read moreThank you again, William,
I am most happy to have another of your always interesting, gratifying, encouraging, and interesting reviews.
It is very rewarding to know the emotional nuances of this piece touched your artist's romantic heart so warmly and fully … this let's me know my intent is successful, and what greater inspiration and gratuity for a bard's labors than that, eh?
I am excited to hear about your new poem, William, and very pleased that it follows the structure of one of my original forms.
It does seem yours fits the scheme of my form quite well, except for the iambic tetrameter; whereas, my L3 and 6 turn trochee after the first couple of words, and iambics is not one of my requirements, but thinking on it, I wonder why I did not make it so?
Well, will be able to enjoy my shortfall while reading your version … I can barely wait. Please, let me know when it's posted.
Is yours a form that originates with you, or did you come across it somewhere? You mentioned the structures of yours fits my "Fives 'n Eights" form; does this include the counts and rhyme-scheme?
What exciting news, William … I know yours will virtually dance and sing upon the page!
Thanks, again, My Friend, for such a great review to this romantic little warmer, and for sharing more of your poetic progress! ⁓ Richard
8 Years Ago
Ha-hah!
Of course, you told me your syllable counts by iambic, anapest and Iambic tetrameter .. read moreHa-hah!
Of course, you told me your syllable counts by iambic, anapest and Iambic tetrameter … duhhh!
never grow olde, William … it just ain't hardly worth it … LOL!
While I was asking, you were telling … great minds and all that! : )
8 Years Ago
Yes. My poem fits both the count requirement and the rhyme scheme. The form does originate within me.. read moreYes. My poem fits both the count requirement and the rhyme scheme. The form does originate within me, but there were some other factors/influences at play.
I originally wanted to challenge myself by trying out different rhythms, so I just thought of different patterns of stressed and unstressed that sounded good to me. For inspiration, I scanned certain lines in Nessely's poem "Sweet Little Words" (I'm not sure if that's the poem's name, but it's close). Though it has no specific meter, it flows very well, and I hoped to use some of her rhythmic patterns. I then thought of a review written by JayG in which her said "the first two lines consist of an iamb followed by an anapest..." His review came to my mind almost at random.
I went throgh many ideas until I finally settled on the aforementioned one. Here are some other structures I pondered:
There were some more, but those were the ones I pondered the most. Maybe I'll use them in another poem.
8 Years Ago
I meant to say 'hypercatalectic' instead of 'catalectic.' Not quite sure what I was thinking at the .. read moreI meant to say 'hypercatalectic' instead of 'catalectic.' Not quite sure what I was thinking at the time...LOL.
8 Years Ago
That is remarkably coincidental, William.
Still, I am quite sure i am not the only one in the.. read moreThat is remarkably coincidental, William.
Still, I am quite sure i am not the only one in the entire galaxy of poets who has ever thought of my Fives 'n Eights form (albeit in a different name, or if named at all), but as far as i "know", no one before me (in 1987) had composed in my exact form; therefore, I believe it is original. Many since have composed in it worldwide, however, considering I've served on over two dozen international poetry sites since 2003, and many have been taught, exposed to, and tried this form.
Again, I am excited to see what you do with yours! ⁓ RJ
8 Years Ago
Including several on Writer's Café who've composed in it … LOL!
The poetry world can be sm.. read moreIncluding several on Writer's Café who've composed in it … LOL!
The poetry world can be smaller than one might think.
8 Years Ago
Hey, William!
Check out all these forms … it will blow your mind:
http://popularpoet.. read moreHey, William!
Check out all these forms … it will blow your mind:
http://popularpoetryforms.blogspot.com/p/known-poetry-forms.html
Very beautiful poetry Richard. Soft, romantic and full of enduring love.
Posted 8 Years Ago
2 of 2 people found this review constructive.
8 Years Ago
Thank you so very warmly, Dear Poetess! : )
Your enjoyment becomes my own, your praise, my g.. read moreThank you so very warmly, Dear Poetess! : )
Your enjoyment becomes my own, your praise, my gratuity, your presence my ultimate delight!
Lovely, old-fashioned, sweet and romantic- wasn't aware of the structure until you wrote it out, so thank you. Not sure I'm accomplished enough to try it, but will let you know if I do. Thank you!
Posted 8 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
8 Years Ago
Hi, Marianne! : )
I took a little stroll through a few of your pieces and came away with a h.. read moreHi, Marianne! : )
I took a little stroll through a few of your pieces and came away with a healthy regard for your considerable skills.
I have no doubt you could compose a splendid poem in this form of mine … if you''e the mind to; I hope you do and will.
Thank you ever-so warmly for your lovely review and very nice compliment … gracious hugs! ⁓ Richard