BEHIND CLOSED EYES... (a sensuous touch)

Parabolic Quatrain

Author's Note

"Parabolic Quatrain"
An original form created by
Richard W. Jenkins © 27 June 2010

Five Quatrains in lines of 8-count each, with the beginning of each line indented right one click more below the title from line 1 through line 10, and one click left indent left from line 12 through line 20, with lines 10 and 11 of equal indent, creating a smooth parabolic presentation.
Rhythm/Meter is in iambic tetrameter.
Rhyme Scheme: abab, cdcd, efef, ghgh, ijij.

Painting: Courtesy of Wikimedia Commons

All well-intended critique is welcomed and appreciated! : )

Reviews

[David Scott]

The parabolic format is a very nice touch here.
I see: the bend in the river, the curve of an eye lid,the small of a woman's back, lips curling in a gentle smile, the bowing out of one soul to touch their lover's soul at climax...
And on and on. I valuable tool in this poem. Too often the format is rather random and does not add to the construct of emotion and thought of the write.

Now, the vocabulary and phrasing were like the river in the painting. You paint a quiet depth with your words. There is a place to rest, or float in the experience. Yet, water is persistent and powerful. It can only be directed, and never fully contained.

Oh how I long to be in her arms and see the bliss we shared when our eyes were closed and our vision pure love...
I don't know what weather to be happy or sad... Maybe a spectrum of emotions are mixed into a cocktail of memories inebriation as I contemplate your art here.

Lovely write Richard.

[Richard🖌]

Thank you ever-so gratefully, David, for such a rich, complimentary, and rewarding review.
read moreThank you ever-so gratefully, David, for such a rich, complimentary, and rewarding review.

The beautifully-creative manner in which your senses have interpreted and added to this unusual form, and its verbal content, waxes poetic — matching … perhaps, even eclipsing the poem itself.

That my humble efforts touched you in such a manner your emotions and memories were aroused … what higher and deeper gratification could a hopeful olde bard hope for.

Thank you again, David, and bless you your thoughtfully encouraging nature, My Fine Poet Friend! ⁓ Richard

[David Scott]

My pleasure indeed. A very inspirational read for me.

[J.J. NIGHTINGALE]

I miss David Scott..................................

[GreenShoes]

Wow! Look how beautiful that is!
I imagine this poem hanging on a wall, a piece of art, for people to come up to, and read.

I bet you can make a nice poem shaped like an hourglass.

[Richard🖌]

Oh!
You make my insides dance.
What lovely things to say to me, Karen. ; )
Did you enjoy the poem's warming moments, too?

Thank you, Dear Poetess … smiles 'n hugs! ⁓ Richard

[GreenShoes]

Yes, it was a wonderful moment, indeed! :)

[J.J. NIGHTINGALE]

Well, I don't even know what "Parabolic" means..lol.. I it doesn't matter at all..lol.... I like the sway of blue, the image conveys .. I feel as if I am there....eyes closed, heart and soul open.... and feeling and knowing the treasures of each other.... absolutely fab !!!



Jazzy ;).................

[Richard🖌]

Gosh, Jasmine,
How beautifully imaginative your words reach in to touch those wondrous places of warm tenderness and sensation … I've never heard you speak with such romantic inner radiance, but I always knew it was there.

I dearly love your review of this parabolic (inwardly curved) piece, and the emotive moment it inspired in your creative words; your expressions harmonize perfectly with the poem … warmest hugs! ⁓ Richard ; )

[J.J. NIGHTINGALE]

Ha.. ok..I even understand a FEW of your words..lol..great ! .. I love romance .. as long as it isn't unclothed ..Ha !!..................:)..

[Richard🖌]

You gift a warm, tender smile!
Nature and the miracle of harmony decide the state of mutual romance quite well, eh? ; )

[J.J. NIGHTINGALE]

Perhaps............................lol

[Richard🖌]

Yes, there's always wonder! 😌

[J.J. NIGHTINGALE]

Truth.............................. :(.....lol

[Richard🖌]

I truly enjoyed your review … thank you ever-so gratefully, Jasmine … hugs to you! : )

[J.J. NIGHTINGALE]

:)...............................................

[Einstein Noodle]

wow! i am so glad i happened on this "Parabolic" form of yours ..the visual is captivating and i haven't even read yet ..nice accompanying pic as well...
wonderful to read and experience ...fresh content that gives credit to the man partner (as I read it) it seems that "she" gets the soft and warm breaths to give ;) nicely done ..all of it kind of grand ..the real beauty of physical loving lay in the mind and soul connection ..really appreciate that your poem brings the reader to that .. petty special ...one to recite to our ladies for sure ...
E.

[Richard🖌]

Hi,Gene! : )
I, too, am "so glad" you happened by to read and leave your always gracious, clear, keen-minded, and appreciative sentiments, My Keen-Minded Friend.
You're "petty (pretty) special" yourself, ya know.
Thank you, Dear Poet, for brightening the sunshine on my Sunday morn'!

Bless you with a brotherly hug! ⁓ Richard : )

[Einstein Noodle]

back at you sir! that pic is so appropriate .. when i see it .. it is so easy to see it behind closed eyes .. playing the scene on me eye lids ..

[Dr. YumnaKay]

This was more erotic than sensual, I felt ;)
I liked the parabolic layout of this piece which really enhances the effect of the words on the reader :)
The last lines give a really beautiful touch to the romance in this one.. I loved reading this one, as I do each work of yours, Richard :)

[Richard🖌]

As usual, we harmonize, and I agree that this unique little piece is mildly erotic, while warmly sensual, as-well.
Your enjoyment becomes my own, as does your love of reading for me sweetly caress.

Your touch is as the gentle morning breeze … thank you warmly, Lady Yumna! ⁓ Richard ; )

[Dr. YumnaKay]

You're welcome, Richard. It always warms my sense to read your works :)

[Richard🖌]

Mine, yours, too! ; )

[Vatsal Rohilla (account..]

That is a pretty good romantic poem. The form is nice too. Each action of affection has been described in a lovely manner. "Warm touch", "Wet lips", etc add to the beauty of the poem. I specifically like the line "'pon lush, green grass we share our dreams". Your piece includes affection compounded with deep emotions and nature. Love is powerful, it does transcend time and space and it does unite two souls. I read somewhere that love is like a rose, the only difference is that love doesn't wilt. Potency of love is clearly, vividly highlighted in your poem and imagery is just beautiful. I loved reading it. Keep writing.

[Richard🖌]

Thanks, Vatsal!
Your expressions of enjoyment and love of this unique piece are praise and gratification far beyond any I could have expected, but I'm keeping them. : )

You're great reviewer … bless you! ⁓ Richard

[Randhir kaur]

A great write...u r amazing writer...what a style..nicely penned..

[Richard🖌]

Again, Randhir,
I am privileged to a visit from your lovely self, and I must say I love the attention and kind praise, but most of all, knowing you've derived pleasure from one of my poetic efforts … that is warming gratification beyond words.
Thank you, Dear Poetess! ⁓ Richard

[Sheila Kline]

Mesmerizing, sensual, captivating, ever so alluring is the total package; the curve of the words only adds to the images your words invite the mind to form and get lost in, the image whisks me away to a den of pleasure behind closed eyes, and the words, oh the words, how they charm me! Your creation is filled with "hold me closer" romance, enough to capture the heart of any woman who reads it!
Thank you for providing satisfaction in a way that shall not be soon forgotten!

[Richard🖌]

Mm!
Well, Dear Sheila, satisfying my lady readers with sensual poetry is certainly one of my sincere aims and desires, and you've so sweetly let me know how wonderfully I've succeeded … thank you, it is my joyful pleasure.
Such charming appreciation and praise gifted from so lovely and accomplished a poetess truly turns my head, enticing a bit of my own delightful satisfaction. ; )
The way we enjoy one another is warmly inspiring, M'Lady! ⁓ Richard

[Shimmerbliss/CAF]

I can almost hear the movement and lapping of that water against the bank. This is full of visual and sensory beauty. Your work elicits so much feeling from the reader, and you engage all senses in the read. The fact that you use form, and do it so effortlessly, is absolutely amazing to me! I will not fault you for being a Master...that would be tacky and only due to an envy of your talent. I must sigh now.

[Richard🖌]

Claire,
I wish I had adequate expressions to convey how deeply and sensationally yours touch me, how enthralling they are to receive from such a talented author … alas, I am but a simple bard, but know I am swept into the moment you've gifted me, and it feels amazing*
That my earnest efforts touch you in such ways are gratification beyond those which I could have dreamed, but I love it, and I'm keeping every one.
Even cadence, poetic voice, word choices, and their arrangement equal effortless flow when read … I've no hesitation in saying, "You can master any form you set your heart to."
I think the sighhh you hear is mine, M'Lady … warmest hugs of grateful thanks! ⁓ Richard

[Ruth]

Critique? Well, personally, I have none because each time I read your writing, I am transcended Richard...you stall reality for your readers and give them a soft expression to melt and merge into...gracefully and always elegantly...sheer beauty :)

[Richard🖌]

Gosh, Sweetheart!
How on earth and outer space did I ever miss your enthrallingly gorgeous review … I've no idea, except I know I never even read it before, because I'd never forget such appreciation, praise, and warmth gifted from such a heavenly beautiful lady-poet.
You've truly caressed my deepest senses, dear Poppy, and left me in the embrace of a lovely, breathless sighhh*
Thank you dearest … my warmest hugs 'n smiles! ⁓ Richard ; )

[andrew mitchell]

A craftsman you are with words and format! Perfect!

[Richard🖌]

Thank you, Andrew, for your words of praise and recognition.
I am happy you found favor in this unique little piece! ⁓ Richard

[andrew mitchell]

excellent!!!!!!!!!!!! really something!