Free Verse … Edited and reposted, I hope some of you will enjoy this lovely piece again, or for your first time. 🍂
Eternal Spring, Beloved~Sweetheart .
-·~•'˜§˜'•~·- · Our Winter’s here,
stealing away my heat,
with her cold, crisp breath.
Your cornsilk, windblown hair
like glowing streamers behind you,
and you'll always be my heart's warmth.
-·~••~·- Summertimes …
you ever come to me,
smiling like a happy innocent child,
arms spread wide, ready to dance
and twirl through my nights,
to drag me down to water's edge,
wearing little else than your
“come and get me" eyes.
-·~••~·- Except, this time, I’m not going; you're not taking me by the hand anymore.
I’m just going to sit here by the pond,
beside the others that have gone,
and miss you now, too.
-·~••~·- I’ll listen to the birds,
the frogs -- wind whisp'ring softly
through the reeds,
the scent of wet pine …
glorious sensations of Your warmth,
watching the sun drop quickly.
-·~••~·- Our Autumn came …
yes! poignant, tender and true, Richard. anyone who has suffered loss will relate too easily. a winter's wind blowing through that hole can chill to the bone but the emptiness can grind them to powder .. my pill box is one week's supply and this morning as i took my Friday AM pills i marveled at another week gone by so, seemingly quick. time certainly is relative eh!? your poem points my thoughts to the Spring just around the corner here in the Ozarks, though the sadness of loss runs through it ... so well done! great title... the daffodils that grow wild poked green shoots up over a week ago then we got blasted with temps in the teens ... i check on them when i am out with Beau and so far they have not tarnished ;) nice free verse .. i agree with you ... not your best but very honest .. hope you are well .. and your family.
E.
Posted 2 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
2 Years Ago
Gosh darn, Gene! 🤔
Why didn't I know you'd read and reviewed this marathon poem fo.. read moreGosh darn, Gene! 🤔
Why didn't I know you'd read and reviewed this marathon poem for me?
🧐···•~~~~`;.•:*˜"!Sheesh!"˜*:•.;'~~~~•···🤓
Smart as I know you are, My Fine Friend, I'll bet you can't answer that question anymore concise than I can; though, I'd almost bet the farm we both have a genius theory … LOL!
There's no doubt that most of anything I can write you'll readily understand, and your graciously wise words of compassion and empathy here emphatically prove my case.
This is one of the many reasons I love charing my humble pieces with You.
Ahhh, Springtime, with the daffodils' sweet bouquet, my native Welsh country's flower, along with the less appealing, but flavorful leek.
Thanks a million for reading me, Dear Gene, but most of all for being a longtime friend! ⁓ Richard🖌
2 Years Ago
i don't want to miss your posts Richard .. so as with so many wonderful friends and poets here at th.. read morei don't want to miss your posts Richard .. so as with so many wonderful friends and poets here at the Cafe" .. I look for you ;) ... daffodils have bloomed and now the tulips and hyacinths are poking up... i love ya man ... and my theory is simple ... we are connected .. as with all things eh!?
yes! poignant, tender and true, Richard. anyone who has suffered loss will relate too easily. a winter's wind blowing through that hole can chill to the bone but the emptiness can grind them to powder .. my pill box is one week's supply and this morning as i took my Friday AM pills i marveled at another week gone by so, seemingly quick. time certainly is relative eh!? your poem points my thoughts to the Spring just around the corner here in the Ozarks, though the sadness of loss runs through it ... so well done! great title... the daffodils that grow wild poked green shoots up over a week ago then we got blasted with temps in the teens ... i check on them when i am out with Beau and so far they have not tarnished ;) nice free verse .. i agree with you ... not your best but very honest .. hope you are well .. and your family.
E.
Posted 2 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
2 Years Ago
Gosh darn, Gene! 🤔
Why didn't I know you'd read and reviewed this marathon poem fo.. read moreGosh darn, Gene! 🤔
Why didn't I know you'd read and reviewed this marathon poem for me?
🧐···•~~~~`;.•:*˜"!Sheesh!"˜*:•.;'~~~~•···🤓
Smart as I know you are, My Fine Friend, I'll bet you can't answer that question anymore concise than I can; though, I'd almost bet the farm we both have a genius theory … LOL!
There's no doubt that most of anything I can write you'll readily understand, and your graciously wise words of compassion and empathy here emphatically prove my case.
This is one of the many reasons I love charing my humble pieces with You.
Ahhh, Springtime, with the daffodils' sweet bouquet, my native Welsh country's flower, along with the less appealing, but flavorful leek.
Thanks a million for reading me, Dear Gene, but most of all for being a longtime friend! ⁓ Richard🖌
2 Years Ago
i don't want to miss your posts Richard .. so as with so many wonderful friends and poets here at th.. read morei don't want to miss your posts Richard .. so as with so many wonderful friends and poets here at the Cafe" .. I look for you ;) ... daffodils have bloomed and now the tulips and hyacinths are poking up... i love ya man ... and my theory is simple ... we are connected .. as with all things eh!?
Oh gosh so descriptive Richard
Loved so many parts
Green apple eyes
Swear off dancing by the pond
Drag through my nights
And so much more....
You are right if you want honesty..
This poem doesn’t flow quite as well as all the others I have read of yours
But even your “worst” effort is so amazing!
Loved the meaning I felt behind every one of your lines,
and, floated out from the page and into my ❤️ heart.
Posted 2 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
2 Years Ago
Lisa,
When I saw your name as reviewer on this one, I knew your heart would be smitten. : )read moreLisa,
When I saw your name as reviewer on this one, I knew your heart would be smitten. : )
I'm glad you came across this rather sadly romantic piece, because it contains so many of the devices that make a Free Verse breathe: Metaphor, imagery, emotional timbre, syntactic flow, timely line-breaks, gentleness and force, verse containment, impacting storyline, and captivating beginning, with an enduringly endearing ending.
One could argue that this poem is too long, and I would normally agree, except it's ambience in what comes next, seems to hold one's interest throughout its entirety.
Thank you most warmly, Lisa, for selecting this one to read, for your expressed enjoyment, and for sharing your feelings with praise and encouragement.
Humbly and gratefully yours! ⁓ Richard🖌
A lot of emotional thoughts ran through my mind with this piece, Very well written.
Posted 2 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
2 Years Ago
Yes, Kimmie 🌾
It IS somewhat of a complex piece that is apt to touch and energize .. read moreYes, Kimmie 🌾
It IS somewhat of a complex piece that is apt to touch and energize certain senses and places within … sooo, with your depths I can only imagine the emotions you felt as you read through the breath of each line and verse.
Thank you for sharing and complimenting this rather lengthy poem, and certainly for looking back through my work to find it … you honor me so! ⁓ Richard 🍃
You’ve packed your apple green eyes
and gone, now.
So, I’ll have to sit on the edge
of this perpetual-winter,
alone and shivering,
trying to cover this hole in my heart,
so I won’t freeze from the inside-out.
Love the descriptiveness in this write, but I loved how you started this stanza out. awesome
Posted 3 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
3 Years Ago
Hi, Kerra 🍂
I wonder how it is you always seem to highlight the lines and verses I.. read moreHi, Kerra 🍂
I wonder how it is you always seem to highlight the lines and verses I favor … a mystery of kindred spirits, perhaps?
That you "love" anything about my poetry leaves a blush any bard would love to receive … lucky me! ; )
Emotional. Honesty. Sincerity.Nostalgia ... are some of the many emotions wrapped up in this piece. You have this magic in your words composing /creating pieces that captivate your readers and hold them spellbound to the end! Just what is needed at this moment in time. Thank you Sire!
Posted 5 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
5 Years Ago
Ah, Lady Kitty,
How lovely it is to see you today (or, any day) and to receive the gift of a .. read moreAh, Lady Kitty,
How lovely it is to see you today (or, any day) and to receive the gift of a touch from your wonderfully expressive heart.
Big hug, Kitty, 'n a tender smile of lips upon your ever romantically blushing cheek! ⁓ Richard 🍃
5 Years Ago
Inspiration comes, I believe from tender, moving words put on page in honesty and sincerity. Thankin.. read moreInspiration comes, I believe from tender, moving words put on page in honesty and sincerity. Thanking you so much for your input!
There is nothing as heart breaking as lonesome....and empty tops it all. A simply sad song to what is gone and what remains. Personally, the memories become painful longings and just turn to heart ache.
Posted 7 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
7 Years Ago
Thank you sincerely, Susan, for such a lovely review! ; )
What, if anything, memorable and/or.. read moreThank you sincerely, Susan, for such a lovely review! ; )
What, if anything, memorable and/or outstanding were you able to pick up in technique, methodology of expression, presentation, metaphor, etc?
7 Years Ago
Oh i got all that!!!! silly :-) technique..free verse,
expression..more of a "shedding of fe.. read moreOh i got all that!!!! silly :-) technique..free verse,
expression..more of a "shedding of feeling"..presentation? lovely. metaphor's??
corn silk, windblown hair
cover the hole in my heart,
afraid of empty.
so I won’t freeze from the inside-out.
etc :-)
7 Years Ago
Silly?
Well, that's the last thing I'm trying to be … LOL!
What about flow, line breaks, enjambment, originality of expression, continuity of thought, theme, t.. read moreWhat about flow, line breaks, enjambment, originality of expression, continuity of thought, theme, the methodology of expression, syntax, and so forth?
7 Years Ago
Oh LORD! do you have a template? ...ok why is Us capitalized?? is it to put emphasis on "Us"..??.. read moreOh LORD! do you have a template? ...ok why is Us capitalized?? is it to put emphasis on "Us"..??..to stress the meaning ..and the emptiness left behind?
Soft, salty tears overflow chapped cheeks,
gathering at the corner of my lips,
await you to taste them,
to kiss them away,
but, there is only me, now…
aching, hoping, longing,
in solemn remembrance
of our....
Eternal Spring, Beloved~Sweetheart
Some tears did escape my eyes after reading this one.....the pain of separation and the chill of winter that leaves behind the one aching so much....you describe it so well in your words...it pulled the strings of my heart and made me weep so that does make it a heart touching creation....
Thank you, Dear Ria!
Every once in a great while one will come along who has the capacity to .. read moreThank you, Dear Ria!
Every once in a great while one will come along who has the capacity to not only feel that which my heart, mind, and spirit have spilt upon the page, but can relate to it in is the deeply abiding way it is meant to be.
Your wondrously vibrant, living words have clearly and warmly let me know you are one of the rare few … warmest, most grateful hugs to you, Ria ⁓ Richard ; )
A amazing poem my friend. A epic journey into the journey of love. I liked the use of the seasons. Thank you for sharing your words and thoughts.
Coyote
Posted 8 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
8 Years Ago
Thank you, John!
Your praise and enjoyment are truly inspiring to an olde bard's efforts … .. read moreThank you, John!
Your praise and enjoyment are truly inspiring to an olde bard's efforts … so very much appreciated, My Friend.
I was thinkig this one was a bit overcooked, but from the content of reviews it's received, it seems I'm the only one who thinks so … go figure! : )
I enjoy blending Nature's colors, hues, and textures into poetry … they seem to bring the moments more to life, more deeply and vividly touching the readers' senses, so to say, and it allows for endless imagery for the pen to enjoy expressing.
Many bountiful blessings upon the joys of your day! ⁓ Richard
8 Years Ago
I like the use of the seasons and nature. Easy to understand and you are welcome.
This is complete crap...the author's note where you said "not one of my best efforts," that's complete crap :) I liked reading this. The wordplay was brilliant, especially the lines "trying to cover the hole in my heart/ so I won’t freeze from the inside-out" and "I’m just going to wrap your gentle/loving-memory around me/and try to keep from losing your heat." I love those lines. Well done, Richard.
-William Liston
Posted 8 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
This comment has been deleted by the poster.
This comment has been deleted by the poster.
8 Years Ago
Well, William, that is not exactly polite of you!
Yet, I got the gist of your jibe!
I .. read moreWell, William, that is not exactly polite of you!
Yet, I got the gist of your jibe!
I added that part into the Author's Note after posting it and having already receiving a review, so did not want to be rude and delete it; nor, did not feel like taking the time to edit it, so simply left the Author's Comment, with a plea for any helpI Uncommonly lazy of me, I know.
I think it is a bit too melodramatic, long, ornate, and overly-involved, don't you really?
Still, that You liked reading it and think anything about it "was brilliant" certainly alters my concluded view of it … to some degree. : )
I do not wish to seem unappreciative of your enjoyment and praise, but I still concur it is not one of my "best" efforts … LOL!
However, I'll not press the point, but (instead) thank you most humbly and gratefully, My Friend! ⁓ Richard
(PS: My first response did not come through in the "read more" part, so I reposted it for you.)
(Again, it did not come through until the third try. I don't know why it sometimes does this?)
8 Years Ago
Hey, if you don't think it's one of your best efforts, then so be it. Sorry about the "complete crap.. read moreHey, if you don't think it's one of your best efforts, then so be it. Sorry about the "complete crap" thing; I just thought it would be a more humorous way of stating my thoughts. As for this poem, I can see why you think it's a bit overdone in its imagery; there's not very much left to the reader's interpretation/imagination, but I still consider it brilliant. This poem has a lovely, easy-going flow, so as I read the "ornate'' descriptions, I could visualize every scene just passing before me like a dream while at the same time feeling the longing that you tried to convey. Could you have toned it down a bit on the vivid descriptions? Yeah, but it's definitely not a deal-breaker, especially since your language was somewhat simple. I'll put it like this, if you had used many "big words" in this poem, then it may have sounded too "ornate" and "overly-involved" for my taste because then, it would sound like you were trying to sound smart (probably). Your vocabulary in this was, however, simple, which added a light-hearted feel to it in my opinion.
8 Years Ago
William,
You know I respect and enjoy your commentary on any of my pieces, and I relent to yo.. read moreWilliam,
You know I respect and enjoy your commentary on any of my pieces, and I relent to your explanation and sound reasoning for liking this piece the way(s) you do.
You've bade me see it in a less judgmental light, let's say … much appreciated, My Friend! ⁓ RJ