Softly ~ in my dreams... (loneliness)

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Softly ~ in my dreams...

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Days turn to pain I cannot show,
nights into ever-endless streams.
Reaching to find I'm lonely; though,
I’ll hold you Softly ~ in my dreams.
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My days, now empty without you,
to nights, no peace will come, it seems;
your touch I ache the long night through,
I'll hold you Softly ~ in my dreams.
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Where's gone your shelter for my storm,
what of love spent ... in lifetime schemes,
when all turns cold, who'll keep me warm?
I'll hold you Softly ~ in my dreams.
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Who'll grasp the beauty of my mind;
then, thrill my body to extremes,
or take my hand when I am blind?
I'll hold you Softly ~ in my dreams.
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When scared, no one to hold me tight.
Oh, I shall know what life redeems ...
when all else dims, you'll be my light.
I'll hold you Softly ~ in my dreams.
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Richard W. Jenkins
©2015

1st Place Winner

FanStory International

Kyrielle Contest

                                 Kyrielle                               

The Kyrielle is a French form written in Quatrain verses.
Each Quatrain contains a repeated final line or phrase as a refrain.
There is no limit to the number of verses, but three is the required minimum.
Normal rhyme structure is a/a/b/B, c/c/b/B, d/d/b/B, etc; with B being the refrain line.
Alternate structure is a/b/a/B, c/b/c/B, d/b/d/B, etc; with B being the refrain or repeated line.
Mine is in iambic meter, composed of eight syllables (4 feet) per line, but line length is author's choice.

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Author's Note

Painting: "Lonely" in oils, by Sergei Chepik
If you would like to try this beautifully expressive form and need help, just let me know.
It can be used for any emotion, mood, or topic.

Constructive (well meant) comments and criticism are always welcome! : )

Reviews

[June bug]

Where's gone your shelter for my storm,
what of love spent ... in lifetime schemes,
when all turns cold, who'll keep me warm?
I'll hold you Softly ~ in my dreams.

WOW!! I love this part, this is a wonderful write. I like your image you used as well
very nicely written

[Richard🖌]

Hi, JB 🐞

With such an effulgent review as yours, why would I want another? And, that you love anything about my humble poetry, think it's wonderful, and nicely written certainly sets the page warmly aglow.

Thank you you ever-so gratefully for gifting a smile! ⁓ Richard🖌

[Dr. YumnaKay]

"when all else dims, you'll be my light.
I'll hold you Softly ~ in my dreams."
The sadness that creeps in while reading the words was profound.. I liked this piece and being a total dumb in poetry I found the reference to style of writing quite helpful!
I think dreams are the best place in which everything can happen without them being real.. Good work ☺

[Richard🖌]

Thank you ever-so warmly and gratefully, Dear Yumna!
Your words of insight and understanding truly are touching and meaningful to the mind and heart; your expressions of appreciation and praise inspire and encourage my spirit to keep writing and sharing.
The excerpt you selected is, also, one of my favorites, as it exemplifies the very essence of this deeply-touching, poignant piece.
M'Lady … I believe a poet lives in all of us, waiting to be born, and whatever form our poetic expressions may appear in is determined largely by our very natures, desires, thoughts, emotions, and needs.
As a long-tenured student and teacher of poetry, I was drawn to nearly all poetic forms in composing and passing on that which I've learned along the way.
To write and share a poem in such a brilliant form as this one is, without explanation, would be to deprive the unenlightened reader of the poem's soul — would you not agree, or that at least by doing so it's added another aspect of appreciation, if not enjoyment?
Ah, you got me on a soapbox … but I love it when an accomplished, knowing poetess inspires me. : )

With big hugs of thanks and gratitude! ⁓ Richard

[Richard🖌]

Without "dreams" we have nothing, Yumna … all things were first created in a dream.

[Dr. YumnaKay]

And I have still so much to learn.. I think it's a never-ending thirst of knowledge (atleast for me) but I will keep trying ☺
To be called a poetess, by you is a great compliment for me since I never considered myself as such.. You're welcome! ☺

[Richard🖌]

Yumna,
It is my contention that a truly accomplished poet would be able to express equally well in any form, if they study, learn, and practice them sufficiently, just as an accomplished musician can play any kind of music they study, learn, and adequately practice.
The more we learn, the more capable we become, and the further and deeper we can perceive.
It all depends on your passion and to where you're drawn.
Most poets are not even aware that poetry is an art, with form and and syntax that makes it poetry, instead of something else. Even Free Verse poetry has rules that allow it to be poetry (which most do not realize), and Prose and Prose Poetry are altogether different, but you may already be aware of all this … in that light, it is good to confer and share, eh?
We all will keep learning and improving as we progress … it is the nature of the art that we must, or become frustrated and discouraged at some point when we read poetry that surpasses our own abilities, skills we admire, respect, that inspire us to become better at our craft, and that we yearn for.
You are a poetess, indeed, and your originality and passion show how great a potential you genuinely have, if you've the drive and desire to take advantage of that which is offered from so many sources … you level of accomplishment depends entirely on your hunger, passion, and desire … your drive and determination to study, learn, and practice toward your highest level of proficiency in the art of poetry, as it does each and every one of us.
I see so many (most) waste their opportunity to shine by not taking that all-important, necessary step forward.
Yes, you inspire me, Yumna, as it seems you inspire your growing fanbase … smiles 'n hugs! ⁓ Richard : )

[Dr. YumnaKay]

Woaah! Then you're probably my first fan 'cause the list is empty😛
To me, I get inspired everyday, like I did with your writing style and most of all what attracts me are emotions because in my opinion whatever writing style one adopts if the reader can't feel the emotions it's useless to write.. And I agree with you, the more we learn the more we grow ☺

[Richard🖌]

Well, Yumna,
The world of poetry has no limitations: There is thought, feeling, dreaming, fantasy, darkness, light, sensuality, eroticism, philosophy, it it is as broad, deep, wide, and high as there are individuals, and yes, there is emotion, too.
Try to resist limiting yourself in your scope of outlook and understanding … it is to your advantage to keep a completely open mind when it comes to poetry; else-wise, you'll stunt your ability to grow and express vividly, openly, and completely.
Ah, listen to me … just can't seem to keep the teacher part of me out of conversations … LOL!
You said, "the more we learn the more we grow". Learning is no more than knowledge; information, if you will. One must take that knowledge learned and practice with it until it becomes understanding, and until that understand develops into skill and becomes a part of oneself … then, it is possible to learn and become proficient at anything, because one learns how and becomes better at it.
Ha-hah! You've got me running like a pouring a faucet someone left on!
Well, as I say, "You inspire me!"
Still, I've no desire to wear out my welcome … surely, you pretty much already know it, anyway, eh? : )

[Dr. YumnaKay]

I'm honoured to have a teacher as you, Richard! And yes, one shouldn't limit oneself to certain things.. It's better to try out new things because how else would we learn our true potential?
I feel bad, that we corresponded so late and most of all today, when it's going to be my last day around here for sometime.. I sure hope to learns loads from you when I get back ☺

[Richard🖌]

Yes, I, too, hope reconnect, Yumna, because, from your willing attitude, your obvious aptitude, I see wonderful promise in your poetical future.
That you claim me as "teacher" enthralls my senses … thank you warmly, Yumna, and a safe, enjoyable, and prosperous journey to you, Dear Lady-Poet! ⁓ Richard : )

[Dr. YumnaKay]

This means a lot to me! ☺

[Richard🖌]

It does to me, too, Yumna ⁓ Richard : )

[FIN]

Wow. Again. You were right. I felt this one all the more and can most certainly comprehend and appreciate this written piece.

Extraordinary how it played with my heart and soul.

This man (or woman):
Loving, even throughout all his pain.

Turns into a heart-wrenching expression, still, even whilst he aches, he remains lovingly holding onto her essence. Her presence, ceases to fade from his very existence.

Dedication to her ensues, through this painful journey of lonesomeness.

Depression evolves into his psyche.
Yet he stands, uprisen, broken down, yet holding on: Questioning erupts within him--crying out to be heard/cared for, yet still, his dedication continues (if not grows stronger from such pain, as if to exclaim: I will never, let, you, go!)

Suddenly, through an epiphany, a change of perspective, an opening up of ones heart, a letting go of greed and attachment.

He forgoes with questioning.
Evolving into a new being, one without requirements.

Standing strong, still scared; yet now forever proudly holding her softly in his dreams, where she will live on forever.

Eternally saved, protected, nurtured.

What once was lost love, which turned into depression, and then dire questioning is now redeemed: A guardian angel of sorts, if you will.

A broken (lost) piece turned into one man's glory; and strength. Depressingly rewarding.

Wow. I love it.

(My take on this rewarding of a read, piece.)

Broke my heart down with each line and each stanza.

Ah, or it could be taken as "complete" loneliness, never having a mate to begin with, interesting. But an imagination, a hope, a passion for a partner--ouch.

Stings all the more, as I read through it once more.

[Richard🖌]

Thanks a million, LR!
It is always my deepest pleasure to introduce a peer to something of mine a bit different than they might normally pursue to read and/or review I believe they might enjoy and appreciate, and thankfully, it seems you have. : )
I can imagine no more gratifying comments than yours to fill an olde bard's joyous senses to overflowing.
I'm wondering if my hat still fits … LOL!

Truly, My Friend, such accolades and keen understandings make my rusty olde pen smile and dance … brightest blessings to you! ⁓ Richard

[FIN]

As long as your pen overflows these pages with ink of such emotional integrity and beautifully composed art-work, there will always be readers astounded and left in awe, by your work.

Sincerely,

LR

[Morgan Yai]

Very lovely job. The words flow together so nicely. Often with rhyme schemes (at least for myself) it seems that sometimes words are misplaced in an attempt to complete the rhyme. I didn't find this to be the case in your poem, however, which was one of the first things I noticed. Reading the firsg stanza, I hardly realized the rhyme scheme was such, for it was so beautifully done, I had no reason to notice it in particular.

[Richard🖌]

I thank you, Dear Writer, most sincerely and gratefully 🍂

When one receives such concisely knowing expressions of appreciation and recognition for his skills … such as yours, Morgan … they are left with the enlightened sense that the reader relates in a deeply meaningful way to the author's own feelings, thoughts, and emotions.
What more could a hopeful bard hope for than this.

What a gratifying sensation it truly is … bless you for your graciousness!⁓ Richard 🍃

[...]

Wow, really beautiful words and crafting. Quite sad but lovely. I enjoyed this very much. Starz x

[Richard🖌]

Why, thank you ever-so much, Dear Lady-Poet, for your praise, positive input, and for enjoying this humble little piece … happy hugs to you! ⁓ Richard : )

[jacob erin-cilberto]

beautiful wording, so romantically sad...has that old time poetry feel to it...

love it.

j.

[Richard🖌]

From you, My Friend,
So much beyond your words is proffered, and whom could wish for any higher praise and appreciation.

Blessing unto to thee in this new year to be! ⁓ Richard

[Sira YR]

I really like this Kyrielle. It's so sad yet so poetic and beautiful at the same time. It almost made me cry for this lonely man whose lover died. It seems that the only solace he finds is that he will still be able to hold onto her in his dreams but when he awakens, he comes to the harsh reality that she is gone and that he is alone once more. Anyway, I'm rambling on. Great job as usual and I can't wait to read more from you Richard. :)

[William Liston]

I think the Kyrielle is my favorite form, and this my favorite Kyrielle.

I loved how in this piece, you've captured everything I find beautiful about this form, from its highly expressive nature to its beautiful simplicity. The refrain was perfect ... it was subtle yet impactful, fitting the vibe of every stanza.

I especially love the fourth verse because of how it captures the speaker's longing, showing how the unidentified "her" filled a void in the speaker's heart. The line "or take my hand when I am blind" had a special resonance with me ... it showed how caring "she" must have been.

As a whole, this piece is hauntingly beautiful. The feel of it reminds me of "And ask ye why these sad tears stream" by Alfred Lord Tennyson ... it has a similar theme.

Thanks for introducing me to this form and helping me with my own.

- William Liston

[alan peter kelly]

When I get home after a long day and sometimes half the night surrounded by and fully immersed in the trials, tribs, paradigms of a mass with whom, as artist, i have never completely felt at ease, serene and/or all four tyres aligned I am of mind which reads how much more lonely it would be without me for company.

[Richard🖌]

Interesting review, Alan.
Thanks for sharing a bit of your life … I am glad something in my poem inspired you to.

Blessings 'n btight holiday cheer! ⁓ Richard

[Cobblestone Traveler]

The structure in this poem is lovely; the rhyming flows very nicely. Beautiful poem.

[Richard🖌]

(something is wrong, as the Comments box will not allow my comments for your review to be displayed correctly … final try)
Thank you ever-so kindly for your praise and expressed appreciation of this truly poignant poem.
Gratefully yours! ~ Richard

[Cobblestone Traveler]

You're welcome! It was my pleasure.

[horizon]

The description about what is kyrielle helped me to know new thing...thank you for that additional information you added...

[Richard🖌]

You are most welcome.
Perhaps, now, you will compose a Kyrielle of your own … it can be about any topic you wish. ⁓ RJ

[horizon]

Okk...thank you...ill definitely try...

[Richard🖌]

Please, let me know when you've posted your Kyrielle, so I can read and review it for you, okay? : )

[horizon]

Yaa sure sir...