haiku suite (nearing season)

Haiku

bitter breezes breathe

soaring leaves fluttered respite

 hue strewn forest floor

textures richly mute

nude limbs buttress pale gray skies

bareness now lives here

snowflakes  a-flurry

brightened mantles cold n clean

quietly lie still

rw jenkins
©2015
 

Author's Note

Constructive critique is always welcome! : )

Reviews

[William Michael Reeves]

Would this be considered a choka of haiku? I recall you had a blog or lesson about Japanese forms I need to read. As I understand haiku it should also reference a season. Maybe that is not a strict rule. I've noticed nudity is a common theme in your poetry in one fashion or another. Nothing more pleasing to the eye than form revealed. Particularly the female words formed in beauty. (?)

[Richard🖌]

Greetings, Bill 👊

It simply is as stated: A Haiku suite. In Haiku, the season (Summer, Fall, Winter, Spring) written about is never mentioned, but rather revealed in the spirit and imagery of its lines.
Nude, in the sense it's used in one of the Haiku, refers to bare limbs.
Nudity is a naturally beautiful state for humans … it's weather, occupation, and societal/moralistic mores and inhibitions that allocates its unsavory connotations.
I would agree with your poetic assessment, when done with skill, admiration, and respect.

"Choka"
A form of long waka (Japanese court poetry of the 6th to 14th century) about any topic, of at least 9-lines, consisting of alternating lines of five and seven syllables, ending with two lines of seven syllables.
With no rhymes, capitals, or punctuation, the total length of the poem is indefinite.
5/7/5/7/5/7/5/7/7
(or)
xxxxx
xxxxxxx
xxxxx
xxxxxxx
xxxxx
xxxxxxx
xxxxx
xxxxxxx
xxxxxxx

Thank you for your visit, Sir! ⁓ Richard🖌

[William Michael Reeves]

Interesting how different definitions and rules can vary. My research had me believing a Choka was just a series of Haiku strung together. And Waka is any Japanese poetry written in Japanese and Shi is Japanese poetry written in English. Like anything, multiple sources are required to avoid alternative facts. Thanks for the enlightenment.

[Temperance]

Hello Richard, I don't know much about Haiku but, I liked this! I understood, and felt, the seasons depicted through your words. Lovely! I hope to learn more about.....

[Richard🖌]

Hi there, Temperance 🍂

It's so very pleasurable to know you've found favor and understanding in this Haiku suite of three; especially, that you think they're lovely.
Any time you're ready to learn more about this interesting charming, ancient Japanese poetic form, I'd love to teach you what I know … just tap my shoulder. : )

Thank you most gratefully! ⁓ Richard🍃

[Temperance]

Thank you, Richard!!

[Richard🖌]

You're so very welcome, Temperance 🌾

[kitty]

Even humans go through 'seasons' in life eh. Well presented piece. Imaginative. Thanks for this lovely piece. A re read. Surfing the pages for a meaningful read.

[Richard🖌]

Thank you, Kitty! : )
How very true, what you've said, and I so very warmly appreciate you reading and saying this in reference and support to the spirit of my humble little effort.

Big New Year hugs 'n happy smiles! ⁓ Richard

[kitty]

Wishing you and yours a happy and successful 2019... mentor and 'friend'.

[Richard🖌]

"A Most Happy New Year To You, too, Kitty Dear!" : )

Thank you ever-so warmly! ⁓ Richard 🌟

[Stella Armour]

An utterly gorgeous haiku string Richard... a pleasure to find :)

[Richard🖌]

Thank you ever-so happily and gratefully, Dear Stella, for selecting and praising these wee poems.read moreThank you ever-so happily and gratefully, Dear Stella, for selecting and praising these wee poems.

It is a pleasure, too, to be read by You! ⁓ Richard : )

[Stella Armour]

i love haiku poems , haibun too, have you tried writing one Richard ?

[Richard🖌]

Many … I find the Haibun far less confining in its more free structure.

[Stella Armour]

I have written one or two , but will write more as i like prose as well as poetry ..

[Laurierose]

I wouldn't change a thing about this piece. That's the beauty of haiku poetry, less is always more. Haiku is actually one of my favorite forms of poems and you've nailed this. The imagery was imaginative and the nature seemed so natural through the word flow. You've captured the moments of the wind and the effect it has on it's surroundings quite well. And then it was still. You've somehow captured an image of stillness in a moment's time. Great read, my friend.

[Richard🖌]

Ah, Dearest Laurie,
To receive such knowing, appreciative, and gratifying sharings from a poetess of your obvious understanding capacity of this form truly embraces the senses of a bard's hopeful wish to please at least one of his reader's desire to find and enjoy.

Your praise is a sweet embrace … thank you, too, M'Dear Poetess! ⁓ Richard : )

[Laurierose]

You're very much welcome. It's always a joy, Richard!

[‘Thoughts In Time..]

Beauty , colours, hues as the seasons and times change- beauty or bareness - couldn’t care less- bringing deeper awareness- just beautiful as always🌹

[Richard🖌]

Bless you with warmest, most humble, and grateful thanks, Dear Kelly.
Your accolades brighten an otherwise dreary day … big hugs! ⁓ Richard : )

[‘Thoughts In Time’🌹]

Blessings in abundance right back at you🌹

[Lyn Anderson]

I am sure the form and technique are perfect. What I like is the content. The feeling it evokes. Even though it's sunny and hot outside, it draws in the cold.

[Richard🖌]

Hi, Lady Lyn! : )
It is so sweet to see you on this lonely, overcast day, and to receive your vivid words of praise and appreciation … a lovely aura glows through the air.
I am so very happy you found favor in my wee Haiku suite.

I love it when too much heat is dispelled, and when too much cold is heated just right … hugs! ⁓ Richard ; )

[Neville]

an absolutely splendid trilogy.... am most impressed, wish I had written myself.... N

[Richard🖌]

Sincere thanks, Neville.
Your accolades and expressed sentiments of admiration and appreciation ore than amply gratify my humble efforts to write something enjoyable for all readers.

Bright Tuesday blessings, Dear Poet! ⁓ Richard

[Neville]

my pleasure entirely and true.. sentiment well and truly reciprocated my friend.. Neville

[barleygirl]

To me, it’s always sheer pleasure to read haiku as it’s meant to be. Many poets focus on form, obsessed with syllables, but the true sign of haiku is in the expression of nature thru imagery. The words you offer here are unmistakably haiku in tenor. Another sign of effective haiku is in choosing words that convey maximum imagery with no empty connective words. I rarely see such a concentration of meaning in the many haiku poems offered here. I don’t try to change the way people approach haiku anymore, but I do want to celebrate an excellent example in the hopes that some will see what I’ve tried to say about how this form is really done (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Richard🖌]

Gosh, Dear Margie!
"Warmly embraced" is closest to the sensations felt from the praising caresses aglow in your inspiringly encouraging comments, gifted these humble little Haiku.
Coming from a poetess of your caliber, a bard surely is blessed for his earnest labors and efforts to compose and please.

Bless you and thank you sincerely for such gracious gratification, Dear Poetess! ⁓ Richard : )

[lightsong]

first what a title! haiku suite (nearing seasons)! I love it, I don't know why I got this feeling, nor I know how to explain it because I'm afraid You might get me wrong, and this isn't what I want... there is something different here, something not "You", it's not a bad thing or meant it in a bad way what I say... until the last line (storms anon fluff birds), I said... "ahh that's SO Richard!" lol, there is dim sadness and pale gloominess like Autumn, and there is cold quietness like Winter, sweep through Your words with silent splendor, and I say to You, this what a true master Poet is able to do, paint and let us feel in His few verses.

[Richard🖌]

Thank you, Gh Dear!
What a pleasant surprise and humbling honor that you've read and reviewed this scenic little piece.
Yes, it is true that Haiku tend to have a mind of their own, pulling from deep within aspects of an individual's thoughts and feelings not usually seen, but in as much that the words and their inferences of this suite came from my pen, it surely is me reflected in them; yet, I do get the deep, more profound gist of your meanings, M'Lady.

I thank you warmly for sharing them, and your most lovely self! ⁓ Richard : )

[lightsong]

since You've explained it to me, maybe it's something connected to Haiku form?! though I read it before from You, maybe it's connected to me and how I was feeling at that moment?! I don't know, but I do know that I'm happy You didn't get me wrong, You know how bad in expressing I'm sometimes lol

anything You paint with Your pen, it's You, and it's driven from You, that's an absolute truth that I do know and feel :)