A new year ~ to spend loving You (longing)

Free Style: No set syllable-count per line, with intermittent rhymes throughout. I warn you, "it's long", but the heart and pen must have their say.

             

  A new year ~ to spend loving You

_________~**~_____________________

How sad it must be

for the cattails and pond,

when lovers who once strolled

are longingly gone;

when chill takes a’hold

on hot Summer nights,

haunting the places

they've loved-in

so long.

A memory caught

of moments e'er free ...

moonlit owls

soar quietly across

the heaven's dark night;

into stardust streams

woven like braids,

ever so tight.

By fortune they met,

tho' love drew them near ...

soft dove to nurse

with the lion.

The willow unfolds

her branches of gold,

while wishes

like ribbons

wove through her hair.

Another year's passed,

each season has gone,

feeling their lives

drifting away;

and, tho' once they were here,

so amazing (I know);

now it's harder

retracing their ways,

to bear loss of

soft words they spoke

deepest in care,

to recall the warmth

of soft, tender breath ...

and yes,

the night's much darker

these days.

Clouds now drift on by,

birds winging high,

they never

come down anymore,

to rest on a shoulder ...

sing gentle songs.

______~**~________________

By-the-by,

oh, how I miss now

thy sweet soothing voice

and apple green eyes.

Mental photographs,

scenes fade slowly, alas;

yet, my soul's deep memory

(it won't forget)

love's endearing,

fulfilling repast.

As the new year appears

new seasons come, too...

as with all our years

there comes a new vision,

a ne'er forgot portrait

of me wrapped-up,

inside of You ~

The pond and the willows,

tall cattails a'sway

longingly beckon,

"Come stroll me,

come share me your dreams."

Once again...

it's "A new year,

to spend loving You ~"

and my heart,

it trades its dark chills

for joy from your charms,

for the infinitely bright,

ever-endearing...

warmth of your arms.

_________~**~_____________________

                    Richard W. Jenkins

                              ©2015

Author's Note

Critical reviews are always welcome and appreciated. : )

Sorry!
I know … it's long, but when a pen's in the moment, it just seems to write on its own.

Reviews

[Jennesis]

'Soft dove coming to nurse with the lion'. What a beautiful image. Such tenderness and vulnerability here, and courage need for both. The flow of warm / cold, winter and summer gently rocks the reader. Natures loneliness personified is fantastic. Oh how I would love to stroll along the pond here.

[Richard🖌]

Gosh, Jenn!
I must have really been a good boy to receive so many of your wonderful reviews, but I surely am not complaining. ; )
I cannot begin to adequately admit how much I agree with you, and how deeply difficult it was to learn to make myself soft-natured and vulnerable … I was always afraid to be that brave. My youth taught me well how to be tough and show no weakness, or what I perceived weakness to be; that which I came to understand were among my greatest strengths as a man. Ah, but how you inspire me up onto the humbling soapbox.
What a thought, to imagine my words rocking you … in such a wondrous voice you speak, and how the pond would love the company of you beside it, Jenn.

A beautiful review — wonderfully inspiring and warming to the senses … thank you! ⁓ Richard

[Jennesis]

Richard!! Oh my goodness, how your path has mirrored mine. As I approached my 40th birthday, I as do many people began this midlife (I won't say crisis) transition. I had been a very independent woman my whole life, never really letting anyone take care of me. My work over the past two and a half years has been about knowing I can be both strong and vulnerable. I don't have to chose one or the other. The process for has been long and full of many grieving days, sobbing in a heap on my living room floor. But I guess that explanation is for another time :) being able to be both strong and is a skill for both men and women we have to have some wisdom to embrace. And the good boy comment made me crack up. :)

[Richard🖌]

Sharing with you, Jenn, is a wonderfully enlightened and growing blessing of joy, bonding, easy and welcome familiarity … thank you for You! ⁓ RJ
PS: Imagining you "cracking-up" has graced me with a very happy smile! : )

[Sira YR]

I think this is my favorite poem by you. I mean it was so eloquently worded and just sparked so much creativity. I got so caught up in the poem that i actually got lost in the words- as in i started mispronouncing words and skipping over them. It sounded like something somebody like Shakespere would write :).

Amazing job, Richard. Brought tears to my eyes. :)

[Dave]

Richard - we had a pond we shared on warm Spring evenings. Early enough to see the first stars blink into being. Holding each other as the lightning bugs flitted about waiting for the moon to rise. I hold her now as I held her then, but the pond is long gone. The pictures you conjure are so real, you touch the ones engraved in my memory. Thank you Richard.
Take care - Dave

[Coyote Poetry]

Hopeful and wonderful words shared. I enjoyed this poem my friend. Thank you for sharing the outstanding poetry.
Coyote

[Richard🖌]

Thank you kindly, John,
It is a distinct pleasure to write and share my humble poetic efforts with you, My Friend … your praise and expressed appreciation more than gratify it all.

Blessings to You and Yours these Christmas Holidays, and throughout the coming New Year! ⁓ Richard : )

[Coyote Poetry]

You are welcome Richard.

[Angelheart1]

Nothing from you can ever be “too long” Sir. This is a very professional grouping of words that is filled with deep emotions allowing them to overflow into the reader. A beautiful well writ piece of poetry. Your Angel

[Richard🖌]

Thank you, Dear Angel,
Your words are a soft alluring poem of welcome inspiration and gratifying encouragement in themselves.
Yes, I can be long at times, but that's the bardic passion aroused from my deep stroking pen ✍️ ⁓ Richard

[Angelheart1]

You are welcome Sir and you can never be too long - i look forward to the words and passion that you so skillfully allow to flow through your deep stroking pen. As always Angel

[J. J. Nightingale]

Causes a body to pause, and be thankful for those special loving days..along those shared paths... this work touches places of the heart body and soul.... simply lovely..........

Jazzy..

[Richard🖌]

Thank you, Jasmine, ever-so warmly and gratefully for reading this lengthy piece, and for leaving such a lovely, heartfelt review for it, too.

For as much as my words touch your heart, body, and soul … you touch mine 🌺 ⁓ Richard

[J. J. Nightingale]

You are welcome Kind Sir.... and thanks for the warm thoughts....................... Jazzy

[Tomás Ó C..]

Im a bog fan of the long verse... enjoyable read...

[Richard🖌]

Thanks, Tomás!
I certainly appreciate that you selected this piece to read and comment on, and that you enjoyed it.
I feel inspired! ⁓ Richard

[Gabrielle Esposito]

Your imagery is incredible. Looking through your poems, I can see that you have a profound gift for observing life and placing it delicately onto a page in all its glory. I really enjoyed this. Wonderful job!

[Richard🖌]

Thank you, Gabrielle, ever-so warmly.

That you've taken your moments to browse through my poetry is gratification and a praise beyond that which I ever could have hoped or expected … and, the sensation of your words, seeing into me — the poet, the man — speaks in a voice I love to hear; so few look deeper than the way my words make them feel.

You are an amazing reviewer … warmest, most grateful hugs to you, Gabrielle! ⁓ Richard

[softlyfall]

It is long but that was a strong element. If a reader has no focus or genuine interest, why try to entice them with brevity when this winds like the ghosts of the vanished couple walking around the pond.
With the one possible exception of the last stanza. It is iterating sentiments previously stated but so does the stanza right before it. That, in turn, overplays the echo effect. And the penultimate stanza is a perfect ending anyway.

[Richard🖌]

Thank you, Dear Lady-Poet!
How encouraging and gratifying your words are to this humble bard … there is no doubt your depths grasp the essence of my works in a truly special way few can, or express they do.

Rarely, do I allow thoughts, feelings, and emotions to flow freely (without reigning-in), as when writing this one, and your keen comments reflect how clearly you see it … probably, more than half of this piece could be tossed-out and it would retain its worth. I am pleasantly surprised, but overjoyed, you favored it as much as you have … thank goodness for that last stanza, eh?

Many bright blessings of sincere thanks to you, for your brilliant review, thoughtful attention, for taking your time to read this epic, meandering musing, and certainly for your inspiring praise.
Warmest hugs 'n smiles to you! ⁓ Richard

[JayceeC]

I had a.long...Maybe too long message here for you, and then I lost it somehow, but let me hit the highlights.

Personal favorite of yours. Love the loose rhyme structure to free verse and the emotional transition of this. You build in good background scenery, made me think of the homeplace, and insert your five that tamed the lion. Three imagery sits both, somehow.

Place to look at is the fourth line. It feels too abruts. Almost like a complete jarring stop. After looking adding an adverb before "gone" or evening up the strophe and aging a line before it may help. The dramatic pause interrupted the thought enough that it jolted my brain. That days, I think overall this is almost perfect

[Richard🖌]

Aw shucks, Jan, and after so much effort … I am so very sorry, dear.*
I would love to have read your original message, but this one is simply excellent, and I love your spot-on interpretation, too — thank you so much for your always thought-provoking and inspiring review, so genuinely encouraging and helpful.
*Helpful Hint: When losing what I did not want to on here, I find that if I click on the return to last page arrow (before doing anything else) it will often take me back to where i was before losing it, where I can copy/paste in the new page, or continue from there. This might help you if it happens again … I hope it does.

I am truly fortunate to have a poetess of your caliber that is willing to read, feel, appreciate, enjoy, love, and comment so eloquently and thoroughly on my humble efforts. A rare few come even close to reviewing in the depth you do, Jan … I sincerely appreciate You, far more than simple words.

Yes, Jan, "the loose rhyme structure to free verse" is Free Style poetry, as Free Verse is completely without rhyme, and further, many do not realize these two forms have rules of structure and refinement.

I have willingly followed your keen suggestion, adding an adverb (the word "longingly") to that fourth line, and It is my hope you will enjoy it all the better now. I think it is just the touch it needed … you're a lovely gem! : )
You said, "I think overall this is almost perfect." Goodness-ME, Jan … I feel all a'blush!

Thank you, Dear Lady-Texan, for sharing with me! ⁓ Richard

[JayceeC]

I was on my phone when it reviewing and got interupted. I would have been fine if I had looked at the still open windows, but I restarted the app, which wiped out my comments. You might be thankful that I did loose it because it would have totally hogged your page. It was long. I think I waxed a bit about the background scenery and how although your lion and dove seem not to fit, they work perfectly in out South Texas landscape, do they not?

Thanks for the Free Style vs Free Verse. I learned something today and will have to look at the structural differences also. Sometimes I think many mistake monologue or narrative poetry for free verse, and free verse can be monologues but are not always. I guess its kind of confusing if you don't understand the basic structures or read the classic poets who write in the style.

As for your assessment on caliber of both writer and poet, I humbly thank you. I truly believe that if you cannot review in depth, it's hard to write in depth. I try to encourage new writers and also help them along. Sometimes that careful critique is appreciated and sometimes not. It depends on if the person is willing to sharpen their craft, or they just want adoration and praise for mediocrity. I do not haunt the later often. My brain sometime has a hard enough time really looking objectively without mindless blather, that neither touches or moves. I never find that here.
I'm glad that you took the general advice and found it helpful. Of course if your looking at free style and free verse the only thing other than the rhythm of the lines, breaks, and the odd word choice, there is not much else to complain about. Unless it's just horrid to start..LOL

Next time I get down that way I'm going to have to give you a heads up, and maybe we can grab a cup of coffee. Strange how we have this huge state and rarely go visiting outside our normal venues.

[JayceeC]

PS.-- Yes, I love the change. It gives an romantic aura that was missing before. Its a smooth stroll instead of a stumble.

[Richard🖌]

Jan,
in teaching this crazy, endlessly-faceted art of poetry over the many years, I've run into practically every variety and variable of writer imaginable, so there is no doubting I fully grasp every single word you've shared about them.
I learned a long time ago not to bother frustrating myself by trying to teach those putting-up defense and argument, one after another, screaming and kicking all the way — it's difficult enough to help the learner break bad habits and get across all it takes to be an excellent poet … when the student is passionate and willing.
it is I who blush from your accolades.
If I cannot take excellent advice and put it to good use, how would I expect others to receive mine. Practically, everything I've learned in life can from those who went before me and paid their dues, including poetry, and only after learning correctly and adequately was i able to begin putting my own twist into creative writing, and i am still a student, you the teacher, just as you spotted that faux pas, eh, and it made all the difference : )
A cup with You would be my pleasure, anytime.
Would you for like me to send you the requirements for the Free Form and Free Style forms?

Smile, I would not want you to stumble on your stroll around my pond, Jan.

[Richard🖌]

Oh, yeah … she the dove, he the lion, both nursing together on love. Rather abstract, I guess, but those with depth (as You) will feel their way through it, and yes, it does work well in our South Texas world. ; )

[JayceeC]

Please send them. I play around with forms on occasion, but almost have to feel challenged to do so, or inspired by them. Love japanese forms, Haiku, Tanka, Choka, but also have played with Fibonacci which I liked, and Wave Waltz which I don't like. I occasionally do metered pieces, although I haven't written a sonnet in years. I figure the world has an abundance of them. And then I created my own. At some point I must take up that intellectual exercise again.
However, most of my deeper works seem to be pure free verse with lots of symbolism thrown in or perhaps, as in a lot of the more sensual pieces, they are poetic monologues. I think the art is trying to pair down the words, so they are precise and minimalistic, but that's me.
Okay now I need to write something for tonight's World Open Poetry Mic.

[Richard🖌]

I should sign-on tonight and listen to poetry recited in your sweet South Texas voice, Jan … how delightful that would be.
I've read no one on here who writes a correct Sonnet, except my students, so yours would be a wondrous treat for this bard's eyes. Post some of yours and tell me when … I'd dearly love that.
Meanwhile, you might enjoy checking-out one, or some, of mine … try this one for a start: http://www.writerscafe.org/writing/RichardJ/1558270/

Whatever you may think of your poems, Jan … I love them, especially the sensual ones! ; )

Okay, I'll send the Free Verve, Free Style rules to you in the messaging, and we can chat about the finer points of them, if you'd like.

[JayceeC]

Only two writers I know that possibly have correct sonnets, and definitely a love of metered verse are CD Campbell, Tate Morgan, and James Hanna-Magill. James has several sonnets here is one, http://www.writerscafe.org/writing/jameshannamagill/1432321/. He is currently not online or writing as he's busy marketing a book, but take a look. I'll check out yours.

[Richard🖌]

Thank you, Jan … will do!

[Richard🖌]

Precise in iambic pentameter, word choice, rhyme, and flow, Jan … a beautiful example of the English Sonnet.
Thanks again for sharing! ⁓ RJ : )

[Willard Wells]

A very soft and loving work of your undying love and a future together. I enjoyed this lovely read from beginning to end. To give a critical review, my skills would need to be far superior to what they are. It's hard to be critical of work this well done.

[Richard🖌]

Hi, Willard!
What a wonderful take on this piece, My Friend … few can interpret my meandering musings so accurately … it tells me we've connected through my poetry, and what higher praise is there for a hopeful bard?

You've really brightened my day and inspired my future efforts, My Fine Friend.
Thank you so very much for honoring me with your praise and interest, Willard! ⁓ Richard