Beside the pond ⁓ (wistful)

Free Verse

    

       

      Beside the pond ~

          Alone,

          I sat beside the pond

          this morning.

          Early sun ...

          vibrant in its warm flush

          of golden welcome

          came cascading down

          from treetops' glow,

          embracing grass,

          gifting colors vividly alive,

          lifting flowers' faces …

          with their honey-pollened smiles.

          I was amazed

          at how the breeze knew

          I missed you

          or was even thinking of you,

          but I’d swear

          it touched mine with your cheek,

          slid a wisp of your locks

          across my shoulder,

          and became the sweetness

          of your breath.

 

          Olive oil and rose bouquet ...

          ... it hung for awhile

          in the morning air,

          a fragrant marker

          along a trail of yesterdays,

          leading to You ...

          places of dreams and hope,

          of love and laughter

          and impossible possibilities.

 

          I almost started to believe

          I’d turn my head ~

          and you’d be there.

          Each year

          has come and gone …

          You, like fertile mana

          ever glowing, growing

          in my heart.

          It’s said all things end,

          and walking back to the house

          I sensed that coming truth,

          as Autumn's leaves

          began falling

          like tears ~

          washing around

          my feet.

              Richard W. Jenkins

                        ©2015

1st Place

"Poetry About Loss Contest"

Author's Note

Picture is courtesy of Wikimedia Commons.
Constructive criticism is always welcomed and appreciated. : )

I was asked to post a Free Verse for a change; so, here one is … hope you enjoy.

Reviews

[Norman T]

I loved the gentle imagery that you created, that ended with a poignancy indicated by the falling leaves.
Although not normally a writer ( or lover) of free verse, I felt that this worked particularly well. You may have helped to change my inhibited views. Thank you.

[Richard🖌]

Hello, Norman! : )
It is so nice to see you here today, M'Friend, finding something to love in this beautifully poignant piece, filled with the flow gentle emotion.
Your comments and praise have certainly gratified my efforts to write, share, in hopes of pleases my knowing readers — those like You.
It is certainly rewarding to know my poem may have inspired your beginning to enjoy the Free Verse genre of poetry, broadening your appreciation a bit more, let's say. The one thing I know is, we can always keep growing, eh?
Norman, I thank you so very sincerely for stoping-in to enjoy one of my poems … please, feel free to do so anytime, My Fine Friend! ⁓ Richard

[Richard🖌]

For those who might wonder:
The six deletions above were controversial comments from a wrongly disgruntled being, who took my response to Norman's review out of context.

[Great Aunt Astri]

oooooo, oh dear1

[K writes]

I don't see anything wrong with Norman's review.

[Richard🖌]

Thank you, Dear Kay✨
Your kindness is so gracious … it was not Norman's review, it something misinterpreted in my response to Norman's review that got her knickers in a wad.
Privately, she apologized and all was set straight between us … I never like to let misunderstandings go without making peace.

You're a sweetheart, Kay … thanks again. RJ 🍃

[horizon]

Again a lovely picture....I really liked this piece of yours..you might have a beautiful inspiration for all your writings sir...just want to know the meaning of fertile mana

[Richard🖌]

Aw, Dear Horizon,
How could I have missed your lovely, thoughtful review … I am sooo sorry!
The inspirations for most all my poems comes from my seemingly endless imagination, and from life's observations and personal learnings.
Fertile = fruitful, rich, lush, and/or productive
Mana = spiritually pervasive, supernatural, and/or magical power

Blerss you … heart and soul! ⁓ Richard : )

[horizon]

You never need to say sorry sir..thank you for the meaning sir.. I think its the Hindi word mana which I couldn't understand..thank you again :):)

[MsJewel]

The images you have described are lovely, but more than that is the soft tone of your words...sad, yet beautiful. Anyone who has felt loss will relate to your words. You have a wonderful gift. Julie

[Richard🖌]

Dear Julie,
When you've suantered along, selecting one of my pieces to grace with your own, always deeply expressed and meaningful words of praise, understanding, and appreciation of my hopeful efforts, I know karma is surely blessing one those good deeds I've done*

I happily agree, too, Julie, I do "have a wonderful gift"; it's your warming and inspiring presence … my most grateful hug to thee, Lady-Poet! ⁓ Richard : )

[Najam Us Saher]

A very beautiful imagery you have described here.
I could feel your emotions. I like the way yo have described the nature and that serves as a great metaphor. I loved the ending the way that you have come back to reality after being so immensely lost in thoughts and realised the fact that all things come to end and at that precise moment you have written about falling of the autumn leaves which not only shows the season but also shows the deep thoughts of your heart.

[Richard🖌]

Dear Najam,
I am not sure what I've done to earn such a lovely and touching review from a lovely poetess of your caliber, but there is one thing I know for certain … I love the manner in which your voice speaks to me about my poetry.
To this bard, there is no higher compliment than for you to tell me how deeply you feel and understand the essence of my words, and there is no more wonderful sensation derived than knowing "the deep thoughts of my heart" have been heard.

Bless you warmly, gratefully, and joyfully for your wondrously gifted review, M'Dear Lady-Poet! ⁓ Richard : )

[Najam Us Saher]

You've left me speechless. I am out of words. 😊

[Richard🖌]

Somehow, Sweet Najam, I doubt it! ; )

[Dave]

Do only poets write about lost love. To seek it out in the hope that it isn't really gone. That our will alone will bring it back. I feel such empathy for you in this. I know that we must endure the pain so that we can experience and appreciate the ecstasy.

[Richard🖌]

You know, Dave?

It's amazing how I've missed your deeply gratifying and insightful review for this rather poignant poem, but all too often the site is remiss in sending notifications. And, I just noticed William's review below was missed … sad, too, that he has passed and will never know how much I appreciate his wonderful words, as I do yours, so very wise and empathetically kind, My Very Fine Friend.

May your hours pass, each with the gratefully golden blessing of sheer joy! ⁓ Richard🖌

[Dave]

Richard - your work is always worth taking the time to read. I always enjoy what you say.
read moreRichard - your work is always worth taking the time to read. I always enjoy what you say.

It's been quite a while since we have written to each other. I don't know if you are aware, but I currently have four novels available on Amazon. Unfortunately, they are all romance based. I remember that you don't particularly like romance.

[William Liston]

I think this is my favorite free verse poem of yours ... it's certainly beautiful and captivating with its vivid imagery and gentle descriptions. This poem had a wistful atmosphere to it, and I could feel that more and more with each line. What made this piece even better was how much you focused on the sound ... the euphony and wordflow made the words dance across the page.

I have one little quibble: In line six of the second stanza, the "and the awe in me" felt redundant for two reasons: First, this stanza focuses on nature so the focus on the self seems out of place. Also, that phrase tells of an idea that can already be inferred from the beautiful descriptions alone. Whether you change it or not, this is still a brilliant piece.

- William Liston

[Richard🖌]

My Dear William 🌾

So sorry I missed your review for so many years … I must have received no notice of it, but am, nonetheless, so thrilled to find it in this solemn moment.

I know you're in Heaven now … hopefully, reading my gratefully humbled response to your wondrously amazing, insightful words, and generously offered constructive critique for this rather loose Free Verse piece. Student teaching teacher; how apropos this is, and how honored I am you cared enough to share and expend the effort to give of yourself so freely. I'm hanging on and considering your every word.

In your second review paragraph critique, I must have already caught and corrected that line before reading your caring suggestion; or, changed it because of your help and forget to thank you in review feedback … in whatever way it happened, I thank you you most gratefully my fine, astute student.

I miss you greatly, William, with your keen mind, imagination, and most enthralling potential to be that Master Poet you always dreamed of, strived, and so passionately aspired toward becoming.

How blessed I feel, Dear William, knowing your own glowing sentiments of this rather
melancholy Free Verse piece were so deeply favorable.

Now, I send my earthly love to You! ⁓ Richard🍃

[Einstein Noodle]

beautiful ..wouldn't change a thing ...very engrossing for me ..by the time i reached the closing i felt enough of this heartbreak to say "oh no! ...not the end!!!" :( so well done says i! and what a great pic .. and your speaker (it is inferred) goes to that place ...to see if hope can be nurtured ..to grieve and move on .. but each time ... he knows he will return again .. that's my ending anyway ;) and way in the distance his pain will be lessened enough so that he begins to forget ... amen! i am an optimist you see ;))
like i said ..very engaging read ..its a fine emotive painting for me!
E.

[Richard🖌]

Gosh, Gene!
What a wonderful review to receive from one of my most admired writers … you've made my day turn from overcast and cold to sunny and warm, not to mention making my hat way too small … LOL!

Thank you, My Friend, you are truly a pleasure to share with … brotherly hugs 'n many blessings this holiday season, and throughout the coming year! ⁓ Richard : )

[streetrose]

Beautiful...simply beautiful. Truly touched my heart.

[Richard🖌]

Thank you for reading this piece, for your praise, and expressed emotion. ⁓ Richard

[Marianne Rose]

Beautiful captivating imagery that took me to the place you described, and helped me feel the love and longing as it unfolded. The words are lush, full of life and vitality. And yes, poignant because of the subject. I felt the vividness of the memory of the one with you, and yes, expected to see someone standing there. Wistful sadness, and enduring love. Thank you.

[Richard🖌]

Ahhh, Dear Marianne 🌼

Such a delightful moment it is to have received your warmly favorable review (even if years later) for this tenderly romantic and poignant piece.
You've always had a way about you that touches deeply into my heart.

You're so very welcome, M'Dear, and I thank You! ⁓ Richard🖌

[Raylene]

Love the poem dear it flows very elegant and free and the imagery as if I was there really I cannot correct this for your poems always hit the viral points bravo dear

[Richard🖌]

Thank you, Raylene,
You're a breath of sweetness on a warm, sunny morning, setting my thoughts a'wandering off in delightful directions.
How lovely imagining you there with me, sharing it all together … such a sensational thought. ; )

Dearest, did you mean "vital" points", in as much that the "r" and "t" are beside each other on the keyboard? Whatever, I know your meaning, and blush from the praise you've bestowed.

I really enjoyed your review, Raylene — sooo encouraging and gratifying … warmest hugs! ⁓ Richard

[Raylene]

Lol Richard you honor me with the invite

[Richard🖌]

Dear Raylene,
I bow most gracefully to your sweet, effulgent charm ! ⁓ RJ

[Raylene]

Thank you dear

[=]

By far one of the better pieces I've read on here. At first I thought this would be a simple descriptive piece of your surroundings. But, at least this is what I've gotten from this piece, the way you lulled the reader into a sense of security before unveiling the true "plot" of the poem was fantastic. Your use of basic senses, I say basic but you've evidently gone past that in your descriptive terms, to explain emotion is utterly superb.

When the piece went from descriptive on your setting, to a love lost I really began to connect with it. It felt like you went from gentle imagery, to hard hitting emotion without blasting it at the reader.

Fantastic piece!

[Richard🖌]

Hi, Roy! : )
A most warm and gracious welcome to the site and my humble pages.

I would like to thank you sincerely for selecting one of my pieces to read, review, and comment on … it is an honor to share my efforts with you, My New Friend.

When another poet takes their time to not only read, but to understand the more intricate nuances of that which a more complex work (such as this) exemplifies, there is a great sense of appreciation, gratification, and pleasure derived form the effort I've taken to write for and please those whom come to read my pieces.

Your in-depth grasp of this poem's true essence in emotion, feeling, and substance assures me you have (indeed) entered a realm few can or do when partaking and relating to the very soul of this piece … what higher, truly inspiring, or more treasured thanks could a bard hope for that these?
This, I cannot answer, because i can imagine nothing.

Again, my most sincere thanks, Roy … a bounty of blessings to you, My Astute Friend! ⁓ Richard