In these quiet places (softly sensual)

Free Verse (lines of poetry written in a poetic voice, with no particular structure, no rhymes, that flows, with line-breaks in smooth and comfortable places)

In these quiet places …

Come, let me pull you gently into our quietness,

where wonder has etched the loveliness of

your softly alluring "take me" eyes

permanently into my hopeful,

azure blues,

where the dawns rise silently ~ gently

to mist our early skies with gold

before surrendering...

on unto the day.

Let us entwine our ever-willing, hungry fingers

in quiet, reverent solitude...

to stroll through boundless amber fields,

where wild stalks of wheat in training

learn to weather life's gloriously

gentled breath of creation,

waving as one together

at all awe-struck

passers-by.

Let me know you in your quiet stillness,

as I have known you like soft waves

fondling the excited shore, while

You are siren, I am sailor...

where the all of us is

~ Eternity.

Let me love you in your calm moments,

that I may know it is me your loins

open in aching hunger for, and

it is for me your eyes close

when your sighs breathe

and flow softly down

o'er me from your

lusty throat.

Then, in the solitude of this time, Our time...

embraced in these hushed surroundings,

let our souls meld into matrimony,

with no clergy or witnesses,

....and....

in these quiet places, let me be

the sole reason your arms,

your moist lips, and

your world

exists.

Richard W. Jenkins

©2016

1st PLACE

Blue Rose Café's

Free Verse Romance Contest

Author's Note

Photograph, from Wikimedia Commons.

This may be a bit too long for some — it is my shamelessly-exuberant pen I blame it on … LOL!

Constructive critique is always welcome. : )

Reviews

[George Coombs]

Great writing richard, words taking one on a journey to celebrate the potential and value of the human person-for me the key line is "let me know you in your quiet stillness" I think its psalm 46 where we find "be still and know..." the stilness and quiet are what we can share and enrich for anotherperson

[Paul]

Richard,

This free verse read to me of a story, yearning for an everlasting love. Your words paint a picture to me, of a dream like setting, full of soft, gentle imagery throughout.
The smooth line breaks, only make it a pleasure to read, through my novice set of eyes.
While I agree, the length may be too long for some; to each their own, in that aspect.
Our pens will sometimes take us on these long, wondrous journeys that only prove to be so rewarding in the end. The proof is right here, My Friend, In these quiet places.

Thanks for sharing ~ Paul

[angelina neves]

both are lovely (from 2016 and 2017). i feel the first is ... "more soft"! but the second has more "rhythm" (or may be is just the way i reed them!)
I think they are beautiful!

[Richard🖌]

Thank you for your lovely review, Angelina! ; )
Your praise, expressed appreciation, enjoyment, and input are truly gratifying and valued.
I agree with your assessment between the two versions, as it definitely requires more skill to make longer, more descriptive, and metaphorically descriptive lines flow with a rhythmic meter, than it does shorter, less expressive lines.
One involves the reader more deeply, allowing them to smoothly and gradually become a part of the moment and ambience of the poem's story, while the other economically strips all but the most necessary and powerful phraseology to more directly and expediently drive the poem's impetus into the reader's consciousness, for a more impacting enjoyment.
Personally, I am able to enjoy both versions for what they each offer in style and content, while knowing some will prefer one over the other … but, is this not the versatility and wonder of poetry, that there are endless ways to say the same thing, and something that appeals to everyone's taste?
Hah! Angelina, you got me thinking so deeply I've about talked your eyes out … LOL!

Thank you so much, Dear Poetess, for sharing these pieces with me … hugs! ⁓ Richard : )

[angelina neves]

it was a pleasure! and i'm glad to have made you write another "poem" just to answer to the "pieces" i share!
and i agree with you!
Hugs flying from this side of the world

[Ardra]

let me
be the reason
your arms, moist lips,
and world
exists.....

let our souls meld into matrimony,
with no clergy or witnesses,

Sweet like the soft whisper of winds soothing the skin....

I liked the way you have described the union in a sacred manner....

I came to check the tutor of yumna Heheh....enjoyed reading your creation.

[Richard🖌]

Hi, Ria!
How beautiful of you to select one of my humble little pieces to enjoy and appreciate so sweetly.
I love the lines you've embraced, as they convey so much of the man, the artist, the poet alive in my heart and spirit … it is wonderful we connect and relate.
How very happy it makes me you came to check me, Yumna's tutor … she teaches me as much as I teach her by just being in the glowing circle her presence … now, yours.
Hugs 'n most grateful blessings of warmest thanks to you, Ria! ⁓ Richard

[Ardra]

I liked the way each poem title has small note of what it is....easier for the reader to choose what they want to read.... yes yumna does have a positive vibe to her ... :)

[Richard🖌]

If, while on my Profile page, you click on "Writing" above my name, it will take you to my Portfolio, where each poem is listed with its (topic) and Form it's written in, as below:

In Eternity ⁓ (heart-whispers)
A Poem by Richard
Unmetered Quatrains

I agree with you, Ria, that "each poem title has small note of what it is....easier for the reader to choose what they want to read."
I wish everyone would do this, too, eh?

I really enjoyed reading and reviewing my first poem of yours … you're quite the brilliant artist! : )

[Ardra]

Yes....it would be lot better to tag them... I will try to do for my new poems ...

[tracey]

a truly remarkable piece, im new and i love your work so much talent

[Richard🖌]

Thanks a bunch, Tracey! : )
Who doesn't enjoy such praise and appreciation expressed for their humble efforts … I know i do!
Many blessings, and a warm welcome to the site … smiles to you! ⁓ Richard

[Jenny]

Being the reason that someone is is such a romantic yet destructive concet. This love reminds of a dream. Old school with a new feel
Thanks for sharing!
J

[Richard🖌]

Thank you ever-so warmly and gratefully, Jenny!
Your words in praise for and understanding of this gently romantic little piece truly touch my heart with sincere gratitude and appreciation.

Such a review as yours truly stirs the senses, encouraging my pen filled and ready to keep filled and ready for the next inspiration … warmest hugs to you, Dear Jenny! ⁓ Richard : )

[Richard🖌]

Footnote:
Jenny, I've reposted the original of this poem, if you might be interested in comparing form, essence, meaning, and style.
Again, smiles 'n hugs of warmest thanks! ⁓ RJ : )

[Jenny]

Anytime! It's my pleasure sunshine!

There are certains things in the edited version that I really like the changes. But there are also little moments in the original like "our quietness", "alluring 'take me' eyes", and a couple other places that have magic of their own. And I miss in the new one. Poetry, to me, doesn't need to have boundaries and should't always be short. I kind of like a verion of your original with less edits. It takes me on a walk down memory lane and they aren't even my memories lol
Both are wonderful! Thank you so much for sharing

[Richard🖌]

Thank you, Jenny,
Your trip back for a second taste made my day smile with joy.
The edited version was by a lady who writes in one to three word lines, with little to no poetic embellishment in expressing thought, feeling, or emotion.
I think it is interesting to experience what she did in whittling this one down into her own style and liking.
You take on this poem certainly says a lot about you, too.
Hugs 'n grateful blessings, M'Lady! ⁓ Richard

[FIN]

Beautifully penned.

Only thing I'd add is quotes around "take me eyes" (or some other delineation) had to re-read a few times to understand the meaning (thought it was a grammatical error, at first).

Otherwise, lovely heart-felt and smooth write.

I enjoyed it.

Much love,

LR

[Richard🖌]

Thank you, Dear LR … sighhh!
Your words of praise and expressed appreciation, deeply warm my core and gratify the ernest effort put forth in creating this sweet and gently sensual piece.
Your wonderfully thoughtful and caring assistance in helping make it better understood, truly honors me.

How very happy I am you found favor to feel in it … hugs and "much love" to you, too! ⁓ Richard : )

[Dr. YumnaKay]

"let me
be the reason
your arms, moist lips,
and world
exists."
This is sensual indeed! I like the emotions here, if the need, the longing one feels when desires creep in.. And then you can feel no one except for the one you would love to be with.. It truly is an amazing piece!

[Richard🖌]

You know so much, Yumna, feel so very deeply, understand vastly in so many dimensions … how fortunate I am, indeed, to receive the wonderment that is You.
Hugs with grateful thanks for your effulgent presence and core warming praise! ⁓ Richard

[Richard🖌]

Dear Yumna,
Below this edited style you reviewed, I've reposted the original of this poem, if you might be interested in comparing form, essence, meaning, and style.
BTW: "Welcome Home!" I trust your hard work and final efforts while away have been amply rewarded, leaving you exuberantly happy!
Again, smiles 'n hugs of warmest thanks! ⁓ RJ : )

[Chris]

THIS left a smile within. A meltingly gentle and full of care work.

Well said sir.

[Richard🖌]

Thank you, Chris, kindly and gratefully! : )
The personality of this one is owed to Vanessa's lovely touch.

Many blessings, My Friend! ⁓ Richard