Divine Treasures ⁓ (sensually alluring)

English [Shakespearean] Sonnet

               

1st Place Winner

Sensual Sonnet Contest

Author's Note

Honest, constructive reviews, please.

Reviews

[Poetic Beauty]

This is what I would refer to as passionate. It has the longing and the yearning of those first heated encounters. Those unskillful yet so wonderful moments.

This is beautifully written. The flow is so smooth and delicate like the young lovers heart and yearning. Brilliantly done.

[Richard🖌]

Again, our thoughts' sensations entwine! 🤗

It's astounding the knack you have of expressing precisely what my mind enfolds beyond poetic words … a very rare few possess this gifted insight.
Thank you, Dear PB, for gracing me with your kind intelligence, lovely countenance, and endearingly gracious praise.

Warmly* ⁓ Richard🖌

[Poetic Beauty]

You are welcome. I have a detailed oriented mind and tend to be an empathic so I pick on small things others may not.

[Emunah June.]

How deliciously sensual! It’s beautiful, it’s alluring, it tells a tale of a lustful love that still had its own admirations within. I love the way you presented the boys feelings as an admiration of Gods creation, two fold. You’ve done a beautiful job.

[Richard🖌]

Delightfully spake, Dear Poetess 🥀

I can conceive of no more gratifying words, than these of yours, to warmly satisfy a bard's hopes of touching the depths of another in the ways you've so graciously and eloquently expressed yours have been.
That you "love" anything about my humble poetic efforts, embraces with the pleasant warmth of grateful joy.

With my warmest hug of sincere thankfulness! ⁓ Richard 🌾

[Aura]

This is an exquisite Sonnet capturing the exoticness of a first love. Admiring nature, the beauty of flowers. I liked how you compared flowers to the boy's crush, in that he loved God's flowers but he loved his loves bouquet even more, showing that his feelings is of the everlasting, eternal kind where nothing can get in the way of his love for the person, not even God.

I do have a question about the Meter in this Sonnet. Since it's supposed to be written in Iambic pentameter, in the first stanza, second and fourth lines... isn't filled and stilled stressed-unstressed words? STILLed, FILLed? Maybe you could rewrite it so that it is:

" the pleasures of this young boy's heart were full"
" his yearnings for our never would be dull" ... just a thought, I believe full and dull are hard sounding words, I can't be certain but there is stress on the "ull" sound.

[Richard🖌]

Salutations, Poetess 🌸

I have joyfully received your unique take on this rather succulently simmering little Sonnet with a brightly uplifted spirit, that you've proven we harmoniously relate.
To receive such words of expressed appreciation and praise, by far, exceeds a hopeful bard's expectations, but I'm greedily and gratefully keeping each 'n every word. : )

Your questions are excellent -- and, the best kind to learn from:
As I am certain you already know (therefore, for the benefit of others reading this), rhyme is based on sound and not spelling; although, words closely spelled alike can be exact rhymes.
Addressing the end-rhymes in V1, L2 & 4 you've inquired about: both "stilled (ie: gild, field, build, etc)" and "filled (ie: field, killed, milled, etc)" are 1-syllable words, not trochaically pronounced STILL-ed and FILL-ed. And, from these examples, we are able to discern they both are correct, spot-on, iambically STRESSED rhymes.
Yes, by themselves, they would be HARD or STRESSED sounds. However, in your example of "full" and "dull": "full" (pull, bull, wool, etc) and "dull" (gull, lull, skull, etc) are not spot-on, precise, or complete rhymes; rather, they are false/near/slant/half, etc; rhymes.
A great review, Poetess … one to learn something poetically useful from.

Thank you for reading and making this poem so very interesting! ⁓ Richard🖌

[Aura]

I see. I had the misunderstanding that if a word ended with "ed" he dominant word would be stressed (e.g ENDed) and the 'ed' would be unstressed. But from your comment it seems that the entire word is stressed. Thanks also for clearing up the rhyming, yeah when you see words that are spelled almost the same,, you'd think it would Rhyme but that's not always the case.

[Richard🖌]

You misunderstood....
"ended" ENDed is a 2-syllable trochaic word, and by the way it's pronounced, it DOES end trochaic or unstressed, but not all words ending in "ed" are STRESSED/unstressed trochaic words.
By itself "STRESSED" is a HARD word (pronounced "strest", but it ends spelled in "ed". And, likewise, "spilled" and "filled" are 1-syllable STRESSED words. They're pronounced "spild" and "fild"; so, the "ed" in those two words do not make them unstressed.
It isn't how a word is spelled that makes it unstressed or STRESSED, it's how it is correctly pronounced that makes it unstressed or STRESSED / soft or HARD.

[Aura]

Oh yeah it depends on the syllables as well. if it's 1 Syllable ending with ed, then it's STRESSED. If it is 2 or more syllables like ended then the ed is unstressed.

So words like skilled is STRESSED, words like enchanted would be iambic enCHANTed, word like headed would be trochaic HEADed.

[Richard🖌]

"enCHANTed" would be both iambic and trochaic.
"enCHANTed LAND" would be iambic.
For ANY multi-syllabic word or line to be iambic, it would have to begin unstressed or soft and end STRESSED or HARD …
softHARD or unstressed/STRESSED is the definition of iambic.

[William Michael Reeves]

Your words wear veils of innuendo. Your thoughts throb in your pen. Down boy!

This was a good illustration of punctuation. Less complicated so easier to see the use of the mark.

[Richard🖌]

Thank you, Bill,

For your read and review.
It's great to know you're still working on your punctuation.

Keep the studies and practice going … you'll get better all the time! ⁓ Richard🖌

[Lisasview]

Dearest Richard,
As always I can never read a Sonnet or poem of yours just once. And, so it goes that I have read this one at least three times.
With each read more of what is going on behind your lovely words finds its way off the page and into my heart,
The feeling of youth..the very edge of beginning to understand the feeling of love.. Of what is important... is what makes this lovely write of yours so very amazing.
To say I admire you is not enough...for truly you are so gifted.
Lisa

[Richard🖌]

Most humbly and gratefully, Lady Lisa 🙏

I warmly give thanks for such sweetly expressed pleasures and insights flowing from the gentle depths of your lovely heart.
Your compliments, insights, and expressions of sheer delight dance ever-so harmoniously with this rather sensually pleasurable Sonnet … and, three times, oh-MY!

Moments of sensual sharing are such wondrous gifts! ⁓ Richard🖌

[Lisasview]

My please to give a honest opinion for your amazing work..
You are so welcome,
Lisa, now pouring with rain in Spain...

[Ankita Dwivedi]

SENSUALLY ALLURING it is, i love the way you say "he loved god's flowers but never near as much as your bouquet"It's looking simple to write sonnet i think but i am sure it's complex ..but i really want to give it a try now and learn it ..Though the thing is i have trouble writing short poems .lol don't know how to limit words and that , beautifully like ths ..i have always so much to say ,but i will sure try this ..teach me ..but i ask a lot of questions and i am gonna trouble you ,so think twice ..you can't back out .XD YOU can .
Love, Ankita

[Richard🖌]

How delightfully lovely of you, Ankita,

To read this rather scintillating homage to divine womanly treasures, expressing such warming sentiments of enjoyment.
Smile … I'll never back out on a promise, M'Dear. The Sonnet is, indeed, a challenge to properly learn and compose, but the biggest challenge of all is being able to make it seem so easy and simple to those who come to read and enjoy.

Thank you, Ankita, for your kind love, and all the gracious words of praise … happy hugs! ⁓ Richard 🍃

[Unspoken poet]

Such a wonderful and beautiful write. I like the form

[Richard🖌]

Thank you again, Lady Kay-T,

Your special treasures in review are most desired and warmly appreciated, too.

Hugs 'n blessings! ⁓ Richard 🍃

[Jade]

This is so wonderful and lovely, very nicely written and expressed.

[Richard🖌]

Again, Dear Brandie 🌸
You've blessed me with the lovely warmth of your gentle praise, expressions of appreciation and enjoyment.

What more could a bard wish … thank you ever-so warmly! ⁓ Richard

[¿]

As am trying to learn the best poetic verse sonnet for me...this one is just amazing to read!
Am a novice and so constructives I hardly can give on this wonderful piece...thank you so much for sharing this...Helped me a lot☺!!

[Richard🖌]

Ah, Tahsin,
Nothing warms a bard's heart more than knowing he's helped a lovely lady-poet in her time of need. ; )
I cannot thank you enough for your beautiful praise and expressed enjoyment of this sensual little Sonnet.
If you'd like a hand in learning your Sonnet, just tap me on the shoulder.

Thank you for the morning sweetness, Tahsin … hugs! ⁓ Richard : )

[¿]

All was my pleasure!! Heartedly welcomed you're😊!!

[Phill Oz O'fee]

Just as a sonnet should be - a tightly structured thematic write! Thou shalt have my vote ... :-)

[Richard🖌]

Thank you, Poet,
Well, the voting's over (LOL), but your comments and expressed approval gratify an olde bard's humble efforts, assuring my weathered pen has done something, at least, worthwhile to a fellow-poet's keen discernment.

A day's bright blessings to ya! ⁓ Richard : )