The Wait

last night we celebrated-
today i hide from the world,
trying to maintain some kind of sanity.
the beautiful people,
they smile and laugh
not a care in the world,
so consumed by their own existence,
and why not-
they have all they desire.
at times i envy this,
but then at times its so painfully clear,
that their souls are paralyzed by the same,
insecurities, anxiety and fear.
as mine,
maybe more,
because they have more to lose.
and this random thought,
makes me smile inside,
it motivates me to rise up,
from my fetal position.
ready once more,
to seize the night.
that primal desire,
to light the fire
once again.
and let it burn, burn, burn.
ready to put on my mask,
and hide in plain sight,
and enjoy the freedom,
of a squandered life,
a life lived hard and fast,
destroyed slowly and methodically,
never realizing until it was too late,
until I had sealed my fate,
the emptiness and pity,
all hope already lost,
or traded for impossible dreams,
that beautiful naive glow,
that only comes with youth,
and the hope of tomorrow,
but what happens when tomorrow never comes,
one day you realize all that is left,
is the hangover from the night before,
and the sad realization that you were wrong,
about everything.
you were sold the dream,
you fell for it,
hook, line, and sinker.
and as the youth faded,
and turned to grey,
all that is left is an empty shell.
the living hell,
of time gone by.
no where else to fly.
alone and confused,
with nothing else to lose,
the celebration that never stops,
that kind of single minded obsession,
that can only come from,
a soul that is already dead.
just waiting for the body to catch up,
and put an end to the pain,
to truly set me free,
to release me from the captivity.
my only hope is that when this day comes,
i can dream again.
and this thought,
makes me smile inside.

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Reviews

[micha779]

I absolutely feel this in every pore of my existence. It's rare to find true love, someone so profoundly beautiful that their eyes take blue your breath. For me the poem explains how I feel and regret anyonefeeiling this way. Micha

[Captain Rilen]

Melancholic and emotionally powerful. I really liked the line "their souls are paralyzed by the same,
insecurities, anxiety and fear", I just found it to be a very true statement. Great poem and the title fits perfectly.