When writers cry

Don't we all go through this?

It's not fun being a writer

Editing, correcting, sketching

All the work is so mind-wrecking

Sometimes you'll forcefully pull an all-nighter

Hand shifting from pen to cigarette lighter

And back to your pen as the cigarette's finished

Your shirt's soaked with sweat like one of a fighter

Nevertheless your intentions all but diminished

At desperate times you'll google and online rhymer 

Seeking for words that sound righter

And once again, you draft and sketch

You known your mind is near the edge

To snap, to scrap, to rip, to cry

And start again with a clear mind

You've probably done a hundred times

Yet you know you have no choice but try

You realize it's late

And all you did was stare into space

In a moment you're out

Waking up with words on your face

You swear, today'll be better

But for now you will rest

And continue writing later

Yeah right

Suddenly a spark appears

You rush to write the idea down

Wearing mentally a crown

Until the spark dies

You desperately search for words 

But your brain is locked

Passion, inspiration - lost 

There you've got your writer's block

You read through you work 

And close your eyes

And toss the papers aside

Each work seems more and more constrained

And by now your mind is drained

You have all these characters, crazy events

That can't get your mind off and it's making you tensed

The second you sit down and writing commences

You realize you can't really tie up the separate segments

In the end you just give up and say 'No more'

Till many days later you pick your writings off the floor

Thinking 'This doesn't look as bad as it used to before'

And now you're eager to write even more

And so goes the day, a last night's rewind

It's the same old routine day to day, again and again

But you really don't mind

As with every failure - progress and experience is what you gain

Author's Note

Did I miss any other aspects which I should add? Tell me what you feel.
It's very rough first draft, I'll submit a second version as soon as I'll have the time to edit and maybe continue. Just wanted to share this.

Reviews

[Ufi Auttorri ~ Amy C. T..]

Hello, Ria. You may think that I'm insincere but I do like this. However, I believe that you have committed one of the cardinal sins of writing: "show, don't tell."[1] It should not matter that this is a poem or a story. You have some wonderful elements in there. For example, "..an all-nighter Hand shifting from pen to cigarette lighter" or "..shirt's soaked with sweat like one of a fighter." These are great "show" elements. Fortunately, I read your bio first. That gave me the ability to SEE YOU doing these things even though in most of it you were merely telling your reader about "when writers cry." I know you can go back and rewrite this into either a poem or a short story that really SHOWS the reader what it's like to be a writer, to cry, and to become that writer if only for a brief moment. Consider it.

[1] http://grammar.quickanddirtytips.com/show-dont-tell.aspx

[Ria Kova]

Thank you so much for your review. It really helped me in my writing style - I can tell already as I've tried re-writing a few description paragraphs in my draft-book using the "show, not tell" concept. It made a gigantic difference. The simplest ideas suddenly seemed much deeper and random objects tell much more about their owners. I tended to not use that kind of description much as my teacher had once told me about the consequences of using it too often. The article you've sent me, and the whole site itself, explains everything so well - I once again thank you for your feedback and advice!

[Ufi Auttorri ~ Amy C. T. Serrat]

What did your teacher say about the consequences? Just curious. Without doubt there are many writing techniques that can be used too much. For example, I tend to use ellipses too much when posting reviews or comments... probably because it's stream-of-consciousness writing. :)

However, it does impart the flavor of the moment; that I'm trying to "think" as I write a review or follow-on reply. Be certain I probably would agree with your teacher, no matter what was offered as knowledge, simply because they are YOUR teacher. I wouldn't want to demean your education in any way. The world is also a teacher. Perhaps the most important teacher we will ever have because it is demanding and unforgiving. Back to the writing... writer/reader consensus in such things as style, technique, tricks-of-the-trade count for a lot. Hopefully others will comment on your work here and you'll get a broader perspective than my own biased viewpoint.

[Ria Kova]

Personally, when it comes to review or debating, I like to hear an individual's biased viewpoint more. Broad perspectives are too similar to each other, and are mainly divided into all-positive or all-negative (so it feels to me at least when I hear them). When it comes to these sort of things I like to hear an individual's personal opinion, as it helps me when I try to flatter a particular group of audience, or several groups.
And about my teacher, or more like teachers, as they change with each year, they all say different things. I've consulted with many of them about my writing style (mainly in story-writing) and I have a whole bank of critiques coming from them. However, there are a lot of cases when they're being paradoxal, or when one advice cancels out another. For example, Miss Louise says:
a) You like to write long sentences. While you seem to combine several related ideas into one sentence well, you tend to use s lot of dashes, colons, and you simply love to put commas, especially where they're not exactly supposed to be. I understand you do so to emphasize your words, bu then each sentence sounds like a matter-of-fact. The reader's brain will crash and they wont even get what you're saying.
However Mr Nike sincerely thinks:
b)I like how you emphasize every new detail. Each comma or dash gives the reader a pause to realize: "Oh, something has changed." or "Attention, wake up and keep up with the story." You can combine two paradoxes and a conclusion in one sentence in a way that doesn't confuse the reader's brain, but on the other hand makes their mind blow.

I still don't know what to listen to... -.-"""

[Ria Kova]

There are many more examples. The most annoying thing is that there is no majority. It's the same 'more-positive' 'more-negative' situation, but in a more 'fro' and 'against' manner.

[Ufi Auttorri ~ Amy C. T. Serrat]

Fascinating! I think that Miss Louise's recommendations seem more appropriate for technical writing. Writing that desires clear communication of a message or thought. Where as Mr. Nike's sentiment on positional mechanics is more in line with the artistic side of the equation; where the writer is "speaking" to a particular audience; one that they believe will understand the idoms and punctuation, such as commas, to mean either "and" or pause in speaking.

As for who to listen to... listen to all and then decide for yourself what is useful at any given moment. Only you know what you are trying to say and why. Your "true" readership, i.e., those that in some way may be required to "pay" to read your work, will have no problem telling you if they think it has value. But that is merely the commercial viewpoint of the other side of writing - the aspect of trying to make a living at it. If, on the other hand, a writer has the luxury of ignoring that aspect or if they are compelled by some unknown urge/force/desire/compunction to write a particular thing then often they will be the ones that achieve no fame in their life and yet history holds them in high regard. Sadly, many of those are lost to us for want of a "critical mass" of readers that seem necessary to elevate them to casual review over the ages.

Sorry for all the rambling... :)

[Ria Kova]

Rambling or not, I like it :P
Hey... You wouldn't mind me befriending you and sniffing around in your writings? Aaaaand maybe ask for an advice from time to time? Don't worry, I'm not going to bombard you with reading requests - I don't do that. If someone's interested in my ideas they'll find me themselves :p. I mean discussing, like we're doing here, various.. stuff, writing-related/non writing-related, debating maybe? I just like the way you think and talk.
^___^

[Ufi Auttorri ~ Amy C. T. Serrat]

It appears that friendship is not a precondition for "sniffing" except for viewing unpublished items & a few other arcana. I usually do my creative writing outside of the WC system (the editor software part doesn't like me) and then post-to-format. However, I would be delighted to have you as a new writer friend! I think you have a very thoughtful mind and I am fascinated with (almost) all entities/creatures that have the ability to communicate on any level. Sadly, at present, I only communicate in English or extrasensory; hopefully that will not be an impediment for either of us. I studied Russian for a bit but had to set it aside; life gets in the way sometimes... you know. So please, let us be friends and begin the grand adventure! :o)

[Mark Anthony Games (Human Voice)]

I just wanted to say thank you to Ufo, Writers cafe needs people like you. Taking such time and care in the reviewing. Great Job

[Ufi Auttorri ~ Amy C. T. Serrat]

Aw, gee... {blush - my green skin, turning turquoise} Thank you, Human Voice! ..just trying to understand humans and what it means to be human; as both you and Ria seem to be doing (quite successfully I might add.) I am so thankful to have discovered your wonderful minds! ...such an intriguing and pleasant experience. I look forward to reading you soon! :o)

[Purplerose]

You nailed it. It's like it's in our brain continually. I wake in the middle of the night a poem will come me to me, have to get up and write it or I can't sleep. Lol! Enjoyed! :)

[Storm K.]

I thought this was a really nice poem, and gave an insight as to how you feel as a writer. It's very easily relatable, and I think that every now and again all writers feel this way and it's true - "with every failure - progress and experience is what you gain"! Great imagery, and it has a really good flow. Nice work :)

[Mark Anthony Games (Hum..]

I love the humor running through this.

'Your shirt's soaked with sweat like one of a fighter
Nevertheless your intentions all but diminished
At desperate times you'll google and online rhymer
Seeking for words that sound righter'

A statement (Poets call it stanza) with justification and example very hard to do. I am afraid I cannot relate to your battle with words though, as I gave into them many years ago. I have never and doubt I ever will sit down to write. All of my works come out at once like a volcanic eruption. I never change, edit or expand. This is why I do not call my self a poet, I just write words. I wish I had the talent of your self to see a thought and build the picture with crafted words, which you do extremely well.

UFo Author is a good reviewer, we have crossed paths before. He makes a good point with 'Show don't tell' but there is nothing wrong with either. 'Tell' is one of the most popular genre's around right now. Reality TV, blogs and diary's are all massively popular. 'Tell' gives us the 'oh year I get that' 'Show' gives us the 'Oh yeah I feel that'. Not much difference really is there. I would agree that 'Show' is maybe more powerful.

'You have all these characters, crazy events
That can't get your mind off and it's making you tensed
The second you sit down and writing commences
You realize you can't really tie up the separate segments'
....could be....
Characters dance between events in the minds eye
No self will can heard the cattle of creation, suddenly tense
No incentives can bind character to event for solidity to commence
Leaving minds eye, characters, events and placements still in segments

......... It is no longer 'I am having issues', it is 'these are the issues'. I think that is what UfoAuthor meant. Do not get hung up on that though. You paint a picture very well indeed. x

[Ria Kova]

N'aaaaaaaaaaawww.
To be honest, I barely relate this poem to myself. Except for the 'characters' and 'segments' and 'cattle of creation' stuff, which you re-phrased to sound much better :P And the online rhymer part... I used to do that all the time back in year 7 when writing poems in class. Now I don't really need that thing -- I've used it so much I can recall all the rhymes in a snap :D
Really, this was a fifteen-minute work. The idea suddenly came when I, for once, actually sat down, took out all my old drafts, and tried to tie up the various scenes and events which I've been drafting for the past four years. I never had problems making up things and writing them down in class - I'm always the first one to finish the essay and the one who has the most words. They ask me to write a minimum of 300 words, I throw a 1000 at 'em. But when I actually tried to edit and expand an ideas which I've grown close to over the years, I struggled a lot. I them remembered my classmate's words. How A used to whine: "Gimme a first liiiine!... Gimme another one.", or how Z used to shout: "Screw this, I can't think of anything!", and my favorite one, J: "Ria! Inspire me, now!".
I remembered their irritation and blank pages, even tears during examinations... And voila! "When writers cry" was born. Thus the name, because I kept thinking of A's teary eyes when I get carried away as I list the possible turn of events in her essay when trying to give her an idea.

Now it's my turn to thank you for your kindness. When I write I mainly focus on how I feel towards my work rather than how I present it to others, which means I never really thought of my writing style like of something oh-so-great. I'm clearly shocked that I get SUCH responses to the messages I never really intended to address to the public that much... Not sure whether the last sentence makes sense...
Once again I'm on my way to complete an essay. Maybe people are right when they say "Shut up and accept the compliment".
You may see how I can overreact over stuff when someone actually returns the kindness and love. I don't really expect that from people much.

Damn, s'been just a week and I already have such amazing people saying such amazing stuff. (>w