UGH!!!!

This is a poem of the short story that I wrote that I also called "UGH!!!!"

Love betrays the mind

It lies a false foundation

An in conceived notation of someone's own needs.

Taken away my mind was.

A certain girl took the very heart that should never have left

I see her now so distant as she is.

　

A friend she wants to be

A nullified lover she doesn't understand I cannot be

Distrusted you now are.

　

 

Taken away, loved conceived and tossed away

Power taken away and thrown to the side

Gripping sentimental value you share in my mind.

　

You played my mind, embarrassed me

Public displays of my affection that were never shared

You told me it was love that you felt.

　

 

Yet where are you now????

Bedding another????

That was never love.

My vows broken,

yours never existing,

where are you now???

　

 

I hope you well

The man you think that you have

In two weeks time there will be another.

　

 

You will get what you want

Drop him like a hot potato with an old excuse.

I want to be friends!!!!!

　

 

WELL HEAR ME NOW!!!!!

As my heart screams at me

I shall not be your friend it tells me.

　

 

My mind tells me that to be your friend

It will show you a horrific reality of a life lost.

A life of love that you will never have.

　

 

A true man that I am

A true woman that you are not.

Take my word a lover you will never see me as.

　

 

Because this day I decide.

My fate is in my hands and my path is chosen.

You have taken another and lost me FOREVER!!!!!!

Reviews

[Aehr]

Honestly I don't read long poems much, lol. But this one caught me by the sleeve right from the start :) I love the description. I'd love it if you toyed with the idea of writing about the same from a girl's perspective. It might come out as good as this one. But whatever it is, it is a great poem, and I loved it.
Shelving it :)

[Richard Anthony Goulart]

Why thank you so much. I hope to hear more from you about my work. Thank you again for the great review.

[Jesse Jacques]

well written. theres a lot of feeling in this poem, good job

[A Soap Mess Stories]

Excellent wording and so full of emotion. the title surprised me. The time caught me off guard.

[Ice Girl]

Very nice poem! :) I really liked the flow of emotions that you gave to the speaking person

[Richard Anthony Goulart]

Why thank you for that lovvely review. Message me anything that you would like me to review for you.

[Miles Wilburn]

I like this a lot! A ton of passion! Heartbreaking :/, but a great work!

[Call_Me_Miss_Imperfect]

Oh my gosh, I truly love this Richard! I've recently went through something that relates back to this poem. A guy that was one of my best guy friends started to like me again, basically forgot to tell me that he had other girls he had close to him. One of the girls in our grade came up to our lunch table and said, "Boo I know someone that wants to date you and she really likes you too! I think you also kissed her last night at the firework show, too!" --by the way, Boo's his nickname. I was so pissed off when I heard that with my two own ears. I knew then that he lost his chance for a possible relationship and a good friend at the same too. I'm glad that you shared this! I can really relate with this and your friends! If you're going through this or have been through this in the past just know I'm right there with you sadly! Great job! :)

I love these lines:

"My mind tells me that to be your friend
It will show you a horrific reality of a life lost.
A life of love that you will never have." ----Those lines are what tugged and pulled on my heart to read more! You really caught my attention then! :)

Ashley Rivers-Dream BIG and you'll win BIG ;)

[Richard Anthony Goulart]

Thank you for this wonderful review. Whenever I wrote this I was going through a rough time and I have found that I write the best at those times. I wrote this and thought that someone will take something home from it. So it is very nice to know that someone has.

[Call_Me_Miss_Imperfect]

You're very welcome! :) I know exactly what you mean too. There has been people to relate to some of my poetry too. It's good to know that they're some people that likes it.

[MandaBear]

Very well written

[Leslie Philibert]

A fine rant from the heart, a poem we all understand - good job.

[Aly Jones]

I really liked those first few lines. They really set the tone and mood for this poem. It was a very well thought out poem. One thing that bothered me by the !!!!!!. I'm sorry if I embarrass you by saying that, but it's just one of my pet peeves. It probably didn't bother anyone else.

Anyway, I loved the poem otherwise. As I said before, I found that it had real meaning and depth. :)

[Richard Anthony Goulart]

It is fine. :P I know lots of people that have that very same pet peeve. I just like putting that many to show the extreme emphasis upon that word or meaning. Thank you for your kind review.

[Aly Jones]

You're welcome.

And I used to do that, too. Then it started irritating so many people and I decided to quit. XD

[KATHY SUE SILLS]

Very well written with strongnesss and emotional strength! Excellent job!