Chapter 1

“Ma’am,”

She didn’t hear me.

“Ahem, ma’am?”

She turned from the celebrity tabloid and looked at me.

“What?”

“I see you’re buying Pluto Sip,” I nudged at the 12-pack of soda in her cart.

“Yeah, so?” She gave me a weird look.

“Um, uh,” I tried to think of something to say, but my mind was somewhere else.

“Look, bub,” she thrust her hands on her hips. “I know what you’re doing.”

“You do?” Fear surged through me.

            “Yeah, I do,” She scoffed. “And it’s sick. Hitting on me in the supermarket when I’ve got my seven-month-old in front of me.” She pointed at the metal seat of the cart, her gaze maddeningly intent on me.

The fear washed away as quickly as it had come over me.

“Oh yeah,” I exhaled with relief. “I’m sorry, it’s just that, y’know, I’ve seen you around and haven’t gotten up the courage to say something.”

She sighed heavily and said, “Look, bud, I’m a single mother and I don’t have time to date. Also, no offense, you smell like Crazy Joe’s Burger House and printer ink.”

“Oh yeah,” I didn’t care about her, but the remark stuck like an arrow. “Part of my job.”

“Well, I’m sorry, but you’re just not my type.” The register line moved and she began to splay her items out for purchase.

There was a honk of a car horn from right outside. It was my cue to vamoose.

“Well,” I said, setting aside the basket of items I had never actually intended to buy. “Thanks for the chat.” And with that I left the Owen’s Grocery and walked to the car in front of the building that had honked its horn. The passenger door was unlocked and I got inside just as I heard the screams of the woman in the supermarket.

Reviews

[spence]

Excellent opening! How could anyone not read on?
This is an excellent example of 'show don't tell' conveyance of information and exceptionally funny in content and insinuation too. I like dialogue driven accounts like this- they show so much more than paragraph after paragraph of literal, and apparently universally understood, character descriptions that I think are getting out of hand since the advent of celebrity obsessed culture, 'reality' themed media and chick lit.
Due to this well structured comedy scenario, I've already got a picture of the protagonists personality as 'likable loser that needs lessons in assertiveness'- I'm looking forward to more, take care, spence