Memories

just a short story about some of me and a lot about what i hope will never happen!

 

As I lay here with nothing to do, but wait for time to pass, I look up to the empty sky. Well not quiet empty? More like covered, the rain has been falling for some time now. Doing its dance across the thatch, placing a spell over the house, which a clap of thunder can’t even break.

 

The rain seems to drumming through my memories allowing them to flash before me, stopping at one or two a little longer allowing me to see a bit more, remember a bit more, bring up all the lost, the forgotten, the happy, the sad, the pleasurable, the hurtful, flashes of early childhood,

 

“Was that me? Was it mine or was it from some forgotten story told to me”.

 

Is it looking for something?  

 

“Ryan where have you been? It has been two days. What have you been going?”

 

“You told me to leave, so I did.”

 

“I never told you to leave!”

 

“What?! You told me to GET OUT!! And I did, now you have the cops looking for me, telling them that I threatened you? They where on the verge of beating me! If it weren’t for Whitie, they would have!”

 

“How did I threaten you? What did I do? You kicked Che and she is pregnant, all I said was…. “I have a good mind to report you.”You then went all mad, started hitting and swearing at me, demanding that I get out and how useless I am…….”

 

The rain not only brought the memory, but the tears too, I can feel them now as I did then, running down my check. Annoyed by the weakness, I angularly wipe them away.

 

My memories shift again. Flashing through them one after another. It is cold, the rain is falling down hard on my head and shoulders,

 

“I must find some shelter, well at least my cloths are getting a wash.”

 

“How long has it been? A few days at least. God I am hungry, I cant go on like this, I must get something to eat. But first shelter….” 

 

I don’t know how I got through that, ha ha, was it that long ago? It feels like yesterday. Drip, drip.

 

“What the …. they said they fixed the leak, obviously they did, hey?”

 

The rain is still going through my mind, pulling at the fabric of my memories, seeming to slow down. Is it getting close to what it is looking for?  

 

Ah yes I remember this one….

 

“Ryan wake up. Ryan, Ryan its Christmas…”.

 

“Christmas? Already?”

 

“Yes love”

 

“Yay!!!”

 

“Here is your first present. It is from Nana and Oppa.”

 

“The box is big, almost as big as me Mom!”

 

“Ha ha, yes love that it is, come on open it let us see what it is.”

 

Together we opened the presents, it felt as if the day would never end. Again with the tears, or is it the leak, must be the leak. Like the shuffling of a deck of cards, that is how it is feeling, with the rain being the coupe and my memories the cards.  

 

The alley is damp and the pungent smell of old urine fills the air, but stand here long enough and you become accustom to the smell. The little bags in my pocket, are my current meal ticket.

 

“Oi! Have you got?”

 

“Yeh! What you want?”

 

“Blow.”

 

“Ask George, over there”

 

Pointing in the general direction of a scruffy looking creep about 10 meters from me.

 

“No, I won’t deal with him. What have you got?”

 

“Some rocks, a little weed, and some pinks. What you want?”

 

“Got any pipes for the rocks?”

 

“Yeh, over here.”

 

Walking a bit further into the alley. Stopping at my bin, I take a quick look around and dig in the bin for a pipe.

 

“While you are digging in there, how about the cash too?”

 

“What?”

 

Swinging around and coming to a stop with a barrel shoved against my nose.

 

“You heard me, the cash too.”

 

“F**k you!”

 

“Have it your way.”

 

He steps back. Run! My brain screams. Turn and run! What for? If the f**k head is going to shoot, let me look him in the face.

 

“Bye”

 

The bullet never came. The gun jammed and I started finally running…… My heart still ponds when I think of that day. Hell it is getting cold. That day was the turning point in my life. I went and got a job as a waiter cleaned myself up and got my head straight. Was it then that I met my wife to be? Ah yes there it is….

 

“Good day, my name is Ryan and I will be your waiter, what can I get you to start with?”

 

I look up and look straight into her eyes. Blue, soft blue and long straight blond hair, with an inviting smile. That was me gone, all my professional mannerism, out of the window. And that was the start of it all.

 

“Let’s get married.”

 

“What?”

 

“Well have known each other now for what, 9 years?”

 

“Yes I will marry you.”

 

The heart soars and the soul rejoices, yes was the reply, how could it have been anything ells. We have over come all the obstacle, the interfering parents, the friends that don’t like ones partner the pregnancy scares.

 

You name it the chances are we went through it. Ah but the fun and the fights and obviously the make up sex, some times it was worth it to just start a fight for the make sex, hot, passionate and full of anger, love, revenge and lust. Ooo yes all the good things of love.

 

Then we decided to have kids. Not one, but two. And we had them, two boys. Well yes they gave a new meaning to life. A reason to live, a reason to go on. Drip, must get them back to repair the roof.

 

“Mom where are you? What are you doing? Where have you gone?”

 

“Do you know that you have two grandsons? Do you want to get to know them? They are beautiful. Can you put aside your hatred towards my wife?” it is getting cold so cold.

 

“Ryan? Ryan are you ok?”

 

Is this all there is to life. Yes it is, to have loved, to have hated, to have known what fear is, to have tasted it and smelt it to have seen the birth of child to have heard the first cry of a new born child, and when you hear,

 

“Dad, I love you”

 

and heart just melts, and all you can do is just hold your baby and when they ask,

 

“Daddy, why are you crying?”

 

then you have felt love for something grater than you.

 

“BANG!!, BANG!! Ryan open the door!”

 

The rain is still dancing on the thatch….

 

“RYAN PLEASE OPEN THE DOOR!”

 

…paging through my memories slower now giving me the chance to relive them one more time, to feel the little arms around my neck once more, it felt like it was so long ago.

 

“How can I forgive the one that has toke them away?”

 

“How can I forgive myself for being the one……”

 

With the sound of splintering wood as my bed room door is kicked in. It was the last thing that I saw, the look of utter disbelief, total pain.

 

“I’m sorry love.” Where the last words that I would ever utter.

 

“NOOOOOOO!!!!! Ryan what have you done?.....”

Reviews

[Dawn]

I really like the set up of the story, there is a lot going on here, and i think the memories are well played.
There are a few spelling mistakes here and there but it didnt stop me reading it, i am bad at grammer and things myself, and its always easier to spot it in someone elses work, not your own.
I am wondering what happened at the end, why does he blame himself for taking away the kids....

Good write hun.. Dawn

[Samuel Dickens]

Memories are very important in our writing, and you have obviously tapped into something full of emotion here. Nice work.

[Dragon Witch]

This is so touching and truely heart felt, you bring a tear to my eyes for seeing you hurt, hurts me aswell. It has been so many years now that our memories seem to intertwine. I love you and always will. We will never allow the world to come between us. That is old history. A nice perspective .