Light and Dark part four

just came in mind

Tomorrow. As promised by her mother, everything we’ll be sort out tomorrow, she repeated to herself. She clutched her blanket. Eyes filled with the imminent fear from earlier. She was wary of her surroundings hoping that nothing will appear.

She breathed hard.

"Come harbinger, you need not be afraid of me"

The raspy voice of the Evil, resounded on her head, calling on to her. Wanting to grasp her and plunged her to its dark depths.

"One day it will catch you and consume you as it did to your predecessors"

Angeal clutched her head, tears felling from her eyes.

“Please, stop!”

The voice didn’t go away. Though it’s all in her head, it still sounds real. It’s still calling out to her. Still, wanting her to accept what it was trying to say.

She shrieked, tears flooding her eyes. Fear gripping her heart and mind, coiling its poisonous venom in her young mind. Her scream did down in her lungs as she heard that sound.

Creak…

Creak….

Creak…

“M-Mom? Is that you?” she blubbered while sniffing.

No response.

The sound of heavy footsteps on the wooden floor was the only thing that was heard. It was getting louder and louder every step it took.

“M-Mom?” she repeated, desperate to hear the answer of whoever was approaching her room.

Creak…

Creak…

CREAK…

CREAK…

The sound stopped on her door. She swiftly hid in her covers, covering her mouth. The fear had succeeded on holding her heart tightly that there’s no possible place for her to think.

The door was opened with a jolt. The footsteps resounding again on the wooden floor, right now it sounds terrible to her ears.

Creak…

Creak…

Creak…

A hand pushed away her covers as she let out a terrified scream.

Author's Note

I hope this is okay...

Reviews

[Imara]

"..everything we’ll be sort out .." Awkward phrasing. I think you mean we will sort everything out.
Wow, very scary beginning. I love that you had the "Creak" thing going on.
"..blubbered while sniffing." I think while should be replaced with and.
A cliffhanger? No fair! I need to know what happens. Great write, very strong. I hung on every word. Your imagery was great and I loved the part where she puts the blanket over her head. Not only is that something we all did as children, making it easier to connect with, it also adds to the fear! Great job!

[Rhianne Ney]

Thanks I'll repair that later. This is intended for a contest but I didn't win (got over that)
Here's the parts;
part 1: http://www.writerscafe.org/writing/GDMonster/964750/,
part 2: http://www.writerscafe.org/writing/Bluefire/1069474/
part 3:
http://www.writerscafe.org/writing/Forgotten-Days/1092502/ - See more at: http://www.writerscafe.org/contests/continue-the-story-3/47555/#sthash.HNoWF6KV.dpuf
http://www.writerscafe.org/writing/Barklight/1120901/

[Imara]

Haha read request me?

[Rhianne Ney]

Ah, fine but it's not mine,

[Imara]

All the same to me ^^

[Rhianne Ney]

Yeah

[♔ CrownedDevil &#..]

I love the intense emotions. Great write. :)

Kaze~

[Pax]

oh how the ending leaves us on many open doors... it leaves me wondering on what had happened after ... a thrilling write kabayan... i enjoyed the intense emotional fear of the character... a haunting reality...

[Rhianne Ney]

Thanks for the review, Kuya Pax. This is intended for a contest which unfortunately didn't win but it's fine...
I'll give you the link to the others:

Here:'

part 1: http://www.writerscafe.org/writing/GDMonster/964750/,
part 2: http://www.writerscafe.org/writing/Bluefire/1069474/
part 3:
http://www.writerscafe.org/writing/Forgotten-Days/1092502/ - See more at: http://www.writerscafe.org/contests/continue-the-story-3/47555/#sthash.HNoWF6KV.dpuf
http://www.writerscafe.org/writing/Barklight/1120901/

[Writer #00]

Your really good at conveying suspense/horror. I felt like I would have to hide from some mysterious intruder after reading this-- frightening! Do you plan to continue this or leave it as a short story (it would be fine either way)?

[Rhianne Ney]

Actually this is an entry for a contest and I'm not sure if it will win or not.

[Writer #00]

What is the contest?

[Rhianne Ney]

Ah, it's done... but I didn't win but it's alright I'll just send you the links to the four parts of the story (:

part 1: http://www.writerscafe.org/writing/GDMonster/964750/,
part 2: http://www.writerscafe.org/writing/Bluefire/1069474/
part 3:
http://www.writerscafe.org/writing/Forgotten-Days/1092502/ - See more at: http://www.writerscafe.org/contests/continue-the-story-3/47555/#sthash.HNoWF6KV.dpuf
http://www.writerscafe.org/writing/Barklight/1120901/

[Writer #00]

Thanks a lot, I'll be sure to read them soon (I was wondering why this said 'part four'... it all makes sense now!)

[Rhianne Ney]

Yeap~!

[Writer #00]

Ah, it's a collaboration.... that's why I couldn't find the other parts on your page.

[Rhianne Ney]

That's right (: