About me...

part of me actually

I sing in the shower only,
The four walls admire its beauty,
This is my stage,
Created by an delusional mage.

I danced in my room,
Stepped on my foot and boom,
Laughing while lying upside down,
Breaking my own crown.

I speak in front of the mirror,
Imagining a shining armor,
With a sword in my hand,
Conquering an enchanted land.

I beat the drums in the air,
Loving the bounce of my hair,
A music in my brain,
Playing again and again.

I put my thoughts on paper,
I am my world's creator,
With this, they will always remember
That someone like me exists.

Author's Note

Reviews

[Dhaye]

A beautiful piece. I always like poems about oneself because before anyone else, we should know ourselves.

I only have few suggestions here. You have the rhyming aabb from the first up to the fourth stanza. But I found out that you broke it in the last one with abac format.

I think it would be better if:

"I put my thoughts on paper,
I am my world's designer,
With this, they will always reminisce
That someone like me exists."

I hope this would enhance this piece. :)

[Rhianne Ney]

Sure, thanks for that (:

[The Scholar]

Aww I love this poem! It's so incredibly relatable. I felt like you were talking about me sometimes. So fun! Loved it. One for my shelf for sure. :)

[Rhianne Ney]

Thanks for shelving it, (:

[Patricia B. Hepler]

Imaginative & fun :) The last verse is very astute. Enjoyed!
~pat

[Rhianne Ney]

Thanks a whole lot :3

[Jetta Zippora]

Playful and beautifully magical. Great write. :)

[Rhianne Ney]

Thank you :3

[Castonovia]

I stare off into my own pieces of fantasy sometimes then write it down lest I forget all of the places I've been to, where I know they exist... This is a very charmng, lyrical verse that probably many people including me can relate to ;)

[Rhianne Ney]

I'm glad you can relate to it (:

[Katherine Enma Pineappl..]

ahonhonhonhon.... This was for the assignment is it not?

Anywayz :) You're trademarks are still trademarks don't remove that k? So keep that up and at your last line that should be exists XD Anyway good so far

[Rhianne Ney]

Yeah... I'll edit it... some lines

[RachelReaper]

I know what its like to be a daydreamer, and I have to say the "singing in the shower" thing fits perfectly. Could relate to it well

[Rhianne Ney]

It's good that you can relate to it :D

[PurpleQuartz]

I think this poem is so GREAT! I can relate to a lot of things in it : )

[Rhianne Ney]

I'm glad you like it ;D

[Anonymous Girl]

Wow that is sooooooooooo beautiful!!
I speak in front of mirror as well!!
Its really good.. I am putting it in my library!!
Good going Rhianne!!
100/100

[Rhianne Ney]

thanks (:

[Anonymous Girl]

My pleasure :)

[Rhianne Ney]

;D

[Anonymous Girl]

:)

[Zubier_abd]

this is a really quirky sweet little poem and i really liked it. very nicely written

[Rhianne Ney]

thankee!