About me...

part of me actually

I sing in the shower only,
The four walls admire its beauty,
This is my stage,
Created by an delusional mage.

I danced in my room,
Stepped on my foot and boom,
Laughing while lying upside down,
Breaking my own crown.

I speak in front of the mirror,
Imagining a shining armor,
With a sword in my hand,
Conquering an enchanted land.

I beat the drums in the air,
Loving the bounce of my hair,
A music in my brain,
Playing again and again.

I put my thoughts on paper,
I am my world's creator,
With this, they will always remember
That someone like me exists.

Author's Note

Reviews

[Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)]

A beautiful piece. I always like poems about oneself because before anyone else, we should know ourselves.

I only have few suggestions here. You have the rhyming aabb from the first up to the fourth stanza. But I found out that you broke it in the last one with abac format.

I think it would be better if:

"I put my thoughts on paper,
I am my world's designer,
With this, they will always reminisce
That someone like me exists."

I hope this would enhance this piece. :)

[Rhianne Ney]

Sure, thanks for that (:

[♔ CrownedDevil &#..]

Such a powerful write, brilliantly written. :-D

Kaze~

[Rhianne Ney]

Thanks for the read :D

[♔ CrownedDevil ☾]

Your very welcome. :-) :-D

[anxia]

These are the things that we all do. You have put it all in such a nice way. Lovely.

[Rhianne Ney]

Thanks for the review (:

[The dark story]

"I put my thoughts on paper,
I am my world's creator,
With this, they will always remember
That someone like me exists."...these were my favourite lines...i liked the flow of this poem...it's a really nice and sweet piece of writing...it sounds so frolicking and elegant..nice work!!Keep it up!!

[Rhianne Ney]

Thanks for the review (:

[Writer #00]

かわいい~! I just got a different image of you, but not in a bad way. I admire the way you can just let your feelings out in your writing so explicitly...it must be very therapeutic sometimes. I love the first line of the last stanza, it really sums up recreational writing, doesn't it! Nicely done.

^.^/100

[Rhianne Ney]

Thanks for the review and for reading. I'll read yours if I've the time(which I'm lacking because of being so busy)

[Writer #00]

No problem, (and I understand, I haven't had much time either : ) ).

[Rhianne Ney]

(:`

[Frieda P]

Silly things we all do in life, you made it fun here. Putting thoughts on paper makes it all real...and your unique creation.

[Rhianne Ney]

Thanks for the wonderful and kind review

[Frieda P]

My pleasure.

[Muhammad Qasim]

haha....nice flow and great lines!! by the way which songs ??

[Rhianne Ney]

anything that comes to mind

[Muhammad Qasim]

oooh... whats in ur mind right now!! hehe

[Rhianne Ney]

Here comes goodbye by Rascal Flatts

[Muhammad Qasim]

oh!!! nyc song thou havent heard it !! ;P

[Rhianne Ney]

Search for it, and watch the official video 'kay? Rascal Flatts is a great singer

[Muhammad Qasim]

on top if my to do list

[Rhianne Ney]

(:

[Muhammad Qasim]

:)

[Dr. Wood ?]

great poem, as you know I am imagining things to write constantly..It is a great world to be in...But you need an S on the final word..Exists..not exist

[Rhianne Ney]

Thanks for the notice~!

[Ruby]

I love it don't worry I sing in the shower :) lol 100/100

[Rhianne Ney]

Hello, fellow singer! We have a golden voice in the shower only ;D

[Ruby]

lol :)

[Rhianne Ney]

;D