Unshed tears

who? what? where? how? why?

One night,
my mother received a call,
saying someone died,
What? When? Who? Why? How?
she told me
that it was my stepgrandfather,
I met him before,
But that was long ago,
how will I react?
shall I cry?
I searched my heart,
I felt nothing,
Nothing but emptiness.
I'm not sad because he's dead.
why? I know I should shed tears,
I should cry,
but what's wrong?
I just can't feel it,
as if nothing happened,
as if a stranger just died.
I really want to shed tears,
but my eyes wont obey me.
24/8/12

Author's Note

This poem is not related with "I met him.. today" (the first one about my greatgrandpa)
This states about my stepgrandfather who died last thursday...
I am depressed that I wasn't able to cry.... *cowers in a corner*

Reviews

[Talks To Trees]

My sweet young child, your soul has wisdom. I read your reviews after the poem. Others see this as well. I saw abit of myself in your youth of grasping the future and conveying feelings of growth in the penning of words. I am 55 and have had many experiences with death. Some I had shed no tears over, some I have. Though we all grieve, we all don't grieve alike. Just because no tears came does not mean that you are without compassion. Tears hold many emotions, anger~joy~sadness~depression and so forth. You are fine, ask the heavens above for the answer that you seek. Sometimes there is none. Your grief comes thru in writing of it and your step-grand-father knows this. I felt as a 14 yr old when I read this. I became young again, like you in a way, full of wondering, full of question, full of life. Thank you for this. I will share a few that I wrote at your age. You relayed your emotions elequently. O:) We have a hurricane upon us now (the outer bands of it) and will write them down later and send in mail. In a few days. Blessings young lady...I do hope your mother is fine with the news. ~

[Rhianne Ney]

she's quite surprised but she quickly got over... She cried a lot for her real father...

[Kuhr Gred]

I felt sorry for this :( .. seems like the way how you express your thoughts how to cry. But, on thing. I know is to let go and cry as much as possible to remove all your pains that carries in your heart :) God Bless
-Kuhr Gred

[Rhianne Ney]

Thanks for your kind review, (:

[FelicityAllona]

I know how it feels .. Really, it happened to me.. My Auntie died but like you I didn't cry.. I became depressed that day too.. I know I should cry or at least worry but nothing, nothing at all.. Beside from the fact that I met her more than thrice a year and we always chat a little.. That was depressing.. I really don't know why..Now I was having a problem of not crying and it bothers me, you know why??.. Because people who do not cry are weak and I don't want that...


haba nun ah.. hahahah :))
Let's just try to be showy or expressive sometimes :))

[Rhianne Ney]

Really? Then I'm weak... I don't actually cry now, the tears won't come down, it's always stuck on my eye lids not bothering to move at all.

[FelicityAllona]

mine too.. seems it was there forever and not willing to move..

yeah.. that is a psychological fact :))

[Rhianne Ney]

Hmm.. really, that's sad

[FelicityAllona]

i know right? :))

[Rhianne Ney]

Yes.

[RachelReaper]

You didn't cry, because he was a stranger to you. I didn't cry when I was told how both of my grandpas died, because they died before I was born and I'd never known them. And though you feel sad, I think you feel more sad for the people around you that were hurt by this tragedy rather than yourself, you show your compassion in a different way.

[Rhianne Ney]

(: I see, didn't think of that but thanks anyway, I just feel like it's wrong not to be sad about it.

[Ruby]

I sorry for your loss. I like the poem that you made about it. It's really touching. 100/100 everyone deals with pain in their own way.

[Rhianne Ney]

That's right, thank you for appreciating it ;D

[Ruby]

Your welcome.

[Rhianne Ney]

;D

[Ruby]

:)

[Allycat]

Death of any person, even a stranger..is tragic. Sometimes we can't cry when we want to..and we feel like we are heartless for not doing so..but this isn't so uncommon. I have been in a similar situation, when my grandfather died, I never cried. Sorry for your loss

[Rhianne Ney]

thanks for reading... That's right I can't shake the feeling that a stranger died..

[Icarus]

I'm so sorry for your loss. Everyone deals with pain differently so there is nothing wrong with your reaction. Give yourself time and allow for whatever feelings you have to be there. There are no wrong ones. A heartfelt write Rianne.

[Rhianne Ney]

Thanks for stopping by and reading I love your name... Icarus..

[Rhianne Ney]

and your message (:

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Amazing. I have felt this when a relative you have not shared time with dies. You portray it with such emotion and show the struggle between your true emotion and the expectations of society so very well. I DO not believe you are fourteen!

[Rhianne Ney]

You're the second person to tell that to me but I'm really sorry but I'm really 14 just turning 15 on October 27... (:

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Stop apologising! You are what you are and you are amazing as a writer at 14/15 years of age. Use your special talent!

[Rhianne Ney]

I nearly apologised again... crap...
anyway thank you for the review... I really appreciate it

[John Alexander McFadyen]

No YOU ARE WORTH IT!

[Rhianne Ney]

Thank you *embarassed*

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Learn to take compliments when you earn them. You earn them and I am certasin I am not the only one on here that thinks you 'rock'!

[Rhianne Ney]

thanks a lot... I do receive compliments and they are my basis to hold on (:

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Rhianne, Learn to believe in yourself you don'r need to hold on just accept who you are and that you CAN write, do have a deep emotion and need not to let the self doubt side of it be dominant.

[Rhianne Ney]

I'll take your advice, thanks a lot

[Patricia B. Hepler]

Rhianne, I'm very sorry to hear of yours and your family's loss. It's ok to cry-or not- for everyone grieves in different ways~ Peace to you, my friend,.~pat

[Rhianne Ney]

what's painful is I can't cry because I'm not close to the one who died...

[Katherine Enma Pineappl..]

I heard, were you able to get your card by the way? My father said you nor a representative for you was present. I feel the same way with some funerals I have attended I'd see everyone crying and I would have not the slightest clue as to why I should cry with them

Condolences

[Rhianne Ney]

someone get the card for me... my aunt...
thanks for consoling...
You know I lost two persons related to me by blood but I haven't shed a single tear for them

[Katherine Enma Pineapple]

It all matters on the connection you had with them in some cases really blood is sometimes not thicker than water

[Rhianne Ney]

yeah..