Just as I was about
to sleep I sat down and look around disturbed by the sudden visit of a vague memory
that my brain is trying to perceive. I sighed laying myself down. I tried to
remember closing my eyes and unconsciously drifted to a soundless sleep.
When I opened my eyes, I saw a room inside a dark apartment,
the first thing that caught my eye was the white curtain which seems to cover
something. I moved the smooth piece of woven cloth revealing what’s inside. I
saw two young kids, both girls, I crouched on my hands and feet crawling to
them, their bedroom are too cramped-up just like a small rectangular box
painted blue on its insides. The beddings are neither hard nor soft but it isn’t
comfortable for kids like them. I stooped at the nearest girl, I squinted my
eyes to look at her properly, trying to defeat the darkness.
I managed to
recognize her, this is me eight years ago when I six years old. The younger me
who can’t stand darkness because she is afraid to see ghosts that only appear
in her imagination. She also hated the curtain that stands as a cover to her
bedroom, it wasn’t like the other bedrooms that own doors. I sighed, this is a dream. Maybe the memory
that tried to present itself in my mind earlier, they say that your dream will
always be what your conscious mind is thinking of. I was in those thoughts when
a light from a light bulb suddenly opened. I closed my eyes and opened it slowly
for it to accept the sudden attack of brightness. I look around the small
living room of the apartment, the six-year-old-me had her eyes on a fairytale
book with the television opened. I looked at the television, the program she is
watching is about the ‘Sleeping Beauty’ same title as the book she is holding.
I felt the sides of my lips twitch, that’s right I’m a fairytale addict when I
was a kid and I know that she’s doing something illogical. Why read a book and
watch a show with the same title? She smiled, her eyes shone as she closed her
book, she turned the television off and standing up she went to the comfort
room.
“Princess, are you sleeping already?” her mother asked as soon as she got
out.
“Yes, Mommy...” she politely answered.
“Good night, sweet dreams and don’t
forget to pray, okay?” the younger self of my Mother said with a broad smile.
“Sure,
Mommy,” the little me said. My mom’s younger self stooped and kiss my younger
self’s forehead.
“Good night...” my younger self entered her room where her
younger sister is, she laid herself down, stared at her younger sister for
awhile and she soon fell asleep. I smiled, she sleeps early compared to me
while I’m used to staying up late.
I sat down staring at the white curtain until
it suddenly brightened, emphasizing its true color which had been dimmed by the
darkness of the night. The curtain was moved and the younger self of my Father
appeared.
“Good morning, young ladies, wake up now!” he said in the voice not
so low and not so high, he shake the little girls by their feet, my younger
self sat down with her eyes not fully opened, “Still want to sleep,” she
mumbled laying down again.
“Come on both of you, the noodles is ready,” he
announced with a smile. My younger self awakens upon hearing the word noodles,
so with my younger sister, the two of them quickly went to their Father’s arms.
He carried them up, “Now, my little ladies, wash your face first... and gurgle
with warm water before breakfast, okay?” he reminded putting them down. The two
girls obediently followed and even raced to the comfort room.
I smiled despite
of myself, I miss my childhood days where I can be open to my parents. That
time when I don’t hide secrets away from them. That time when I still say ‘Good
night’ to my mother and she says the same to me. That time, when my Father is
not that busy that he can still wake us up. That memory gave me a struck of
realization. A lot had changed since I had grown up, my Father who is always
leaving to go to another part of the Philippines for work, the not-so-close
relationship with my Mother and the loss of family bonding. Changes do come in
a family and I always dreamed of bringing our old relationship back.
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