Bleed

A Senryu

In excited bliss

In fickle titillation

Dignity bleeds dry

Author's Note

I can't decide to make the last line; Bleeds dry dignity or Bleed dry dignity

Reviews

[Yellow Butterfly]

Sometimes things are not exactly what they seem.....

Which ever way you read this it still reads well....

:O)

[Revery]

Thank you dear. I'm always honored by your reviews.

[Yellow Butterfly]

Your welcome.

In answer to your question re disappearing reviews... yeah... I thought that's whats been happening to me too.... strange... Oh the joys of WC.. :O)

[Revery]

Hmmm, besides me, your the third person to confirm this happening lately. Thanks

[Michael G.]

Well written senryu. When said in one breath this sounds like a perfect fit.

[Revery]

Thank you Michael.

[Donald Cole]

i like it as it is. interesting thought here. yep i like the message as it it, because sometimes it is in those moments that we lose our dignity and act like a fool.....
Don

[Nona]

Ah! I am frozen with my mouth open -- lost inside your stunning metaphor!

[ame]

I'd go for Bleed dry, Dignity!

[emmajoy]

Dignity bleeds dry .. changes the meaning but ..

there are so many interpretations anyway, depends on where the stresses are per reader .. how the words move in the mind .. where the indiviual pauses, if does indeed.

Thoughtful, to say the least, tho senryu brief.

[Muse]

bleed dry dignity.

the redundancy makes it artful. Almost an alliteration, but more like a tongue twister. I like it! :D

[Sleeping Maiden]

Aww, the message is deep and straight forward! I love how powerful your words are using the work of senryu. Awesome job! =)