A Pillar of Salt...

She refused to look back, in spite of what her heart said, for fear that should would be turned into a pillar of salt.

How were they ever supposed to grow into a unit pair when he forbore the time needed to fuse them together?

She had read in magazines about women who had conducted themselves as she had recently behaved. How they allowed love to blind them to the most obvious red flags that others could see so clearly; the way their eyes lit up in surprise with each unannounced visit as they allowed that certain gentlemen to enter and exit their lives at leisure. To her, it seemed that they had become pillars of salt because they looked back at a hope instead of moving forward which kept them at a stand-still in life. But she never consider that she would be one to follow a wolf in sheep's clothing; after all, she thought she was a know it.

 

It seemed to her that he carried out every detail of his unspoken plan which sadly did not consist of yielding to the desires of her heart. Though he claimed to be single, he behaved like a married man who was determined to have his fun, and also keep his happy home in tack. 

 

She wanted to know him, but instead, he gave her bits and pieces of his time, and that kept her in want for more. For instance, he would visit her during random hours in which he controlled the lengths of his visits: some mornings, during the day, and at night. His actions kept her guessing and wondering, and her blindness to that unknown kept her toiling along for the hope of the treasure at the end of the rainbow. The less he revealed about himself made him a mystery as she involved herself to solve. With few conversations that he entertained, it gave her the mood to create a novel in her mind and she gripped and wondered about the twist and turn of each page that her thoughts created.

 

Unknowingly and loosely, she had allowed him to manipulate and commanded every movement of their so call relationship. Though she showered him with affections, she was the one left wanting more and yet, he left with all the affection he wanted; even if he left with a small amount was only because he simply wanted a small amount.

  

Whether he knew the affects he had on her or not, she summed him up as the best crafter ever who made her craved love. Because of that, she wrote a list, and forced her heart to consider every jot.  By doing so, she finally realized that he was missing the most vital parts necessary to reciprocate the affections that she had showered upon him. 

 

Her heart had recorded ever instance in which he opened up to show what she considered to be “his emptiness.” For his actions lacked the details she sought for in love as he would bury himself in is work. His time was the essential element she desired because she wanted to know him. But he created projects to involve himself and his time, so that he reflected that he didn't desire a permanent one-and-only love to call his own. She was never sure of whom she was completing against for his attention and time, another woman or his love for his work?

 

She was left with no choice other than to focus on the reality that he couldn't love her as she needed to be loved. She thoroughly concentrated on what she knew she deserved and his lack of capability to make it happen; this was not an easy task. But so often she had viewed other women as foolish in how they had allowed men to disregard their offerings, yet they continued to throw themselves at them and become stagnated pillars of salt. 

 

For her own sake, she forfeited her desire to be loved by him and decided to mourn her lost and allow her heart to bleed; she gathered her pillows, blanket and handkerchief and her tears meet them in wetness. And as such a night turned into day as she too was freed from the widow's web of deceit that she had created from her own hope and figment of her imagination. She knew that it was God's grace that had allowed her heart to see that her natural and spiritual life was at stake; so with all haste, she forsook the love in which she pursued, she pushed forward, and she never looked back, for she too would have become a pillar of salt.

Reviews

[Thescientista]

Sometimes you just have to let a person go."A man's rejection is God's protection" Thanks for sharing this, and thank you for commenting on my other poems. =)

[Reveal]

I totally agree with you. I love that quote, "A man's rejection is God's protection." Thanks for sharing.