When you need me

You'll never know pain like that you've caused,
You'll never know the friendship that you've lost...
You'll never experience the warmth of my smile,
Nor the love in my eye,
Or the hug every once in a while.
I'll never trust you as I once did,
I'll never love you like a brother, or like a sister...
I won't respect you like I used to,
But not to worry I won't be bitter.
I won't bother you as I must've done once,
I won't worry you with my personal affairs
I'll let you know that I won't be there,
Just like you when I needed you most.
I'll make sure not to go to parties you attend,
I'll stray from places you'll be in
You do your thing while my scars I mend,
And I'll make sure not to announce the pain that I'm in.
I'm sorry for the hardache I must've caused,
For the stress I must've put you through
I apologize for the friendship I put on pause
And the hurt you'll feel when you realize the truth.
I'm sorry that I can't be sorry enough,
Especially when you always want more.
I just can't be who you want me to be,
I've worked so hard my heart is sore.
My endeavors are a lost cause
As I see you don't really care
But I'll leave you be
So you can rebuild what isn't there.
I really do wish you good will
And hope you can find your way
Cause I'm tired...
Tired of being just a convenient step away,
Tired of you only being there when you want to be
Tired of acting like I don't notice the hushed whispers,
Or the betrayal in the air,
Or the lies on your breath.
So I may have been there then,
I may or may not be there now...
But I can assure you,
Next time you need me... I really won't be around.