Disillusioned

when i blinked last it wasnt there,
the red of the rain,
the black of the sea.
I am so disillusioned. Its the mirage I see.

The pain in the soul, yearning for more.
And yet all was well till some time ago.

The night has fallen like a veil on peace.
The swords are thrust, it is a gory scene.

I hate to be killed by the mocking dark.
An unknown enemy feeling my parts.

The blood that trickles leaves no trail.
and yet my wish comes alive

Its the song that strums that makes me faint.
I've heard it before and then i realise.

This is not a mirage, its a deja vu.
i know the undertaker. He knows me too.

To be Stoic i try. Wincing pain seeps out.
I cry ...
Who will love? Who will seek?
When all is gone and i shall sleep.