Beyond Repulsive

I wrote this true-story, based upon another side you have not seen. Take a step into a suicidal teenager's mind.

  

Assumptions

 An excellent disguise I posses. You

would never know I’m the girl, that is

full of misery. You don’t know what really

occurs. Enough with your assumptions.

I show you the only the sides, I want you

to see. You do not know me. Stop pretending like

you do. You only know my

name. Nothing more than that.

 

Exposure

 What lies behind that smile? Things beyond

your understanding. So why even try?

Why want all this negativity? I’m a

walking reaper. My eyes are empty.

These roses MUST be turned BLACK.

Everything is so much easier, if you hide it all.

All your thoughts and feelings. A smile is a barrier,

You are not allowed to break,

 

 

 Lurid

 Have you ever dragged that razor, across your skin?

A sensation and pain, like no other. All your

thoughts and feelings now on your body.

A emotional state, now expressed in a

physical state. It’s brilliant.

Can you see my pain and despair now?

Look at my scars, and you can feel the agony.

You feel oh so very numb after.

It’s a reliever, you don’t consider.

 

 

Remedy

 No hope or faith left. What do you depend on,

to save your life? Medication. Now you are in

serious danger. You never had taken medication,

for helping you cope, with your thoughts.

What you do now realize is, all those pills are

extremely addicting. You are now dependent, on

these little lifesavers. Without them, you are frightened.

But with them, you recognize how ill you are. You

actually consider overdose, on the one that is supposed

to help you be alive. You die trying to survive.

 

 Mysterious

 I will stay hidden in the dark. Never question it,

because you are smart enough to know. Society doesn’t

tolerate you. You are a cutter. You will be considered

a freak, emo, goth, weirdo,etc. Criticism is what this,

Earth revolves around. If you tell people, they will

very well, get disturbed and be driven away. You aren’t

like everyone else. You are DIFFERENT.

Reviews

[Cicera]

The worst thing I can think of today that could happen to a living human is to continue living having a side hidden that is unknown to itself. We normally take responsibility for our acts. I have a theory-in the sense that I'm not quoting it from anywhere I came upon-that inside everyone of us there is a monster who does all sorts of evil things. There is a rotten man inside each one who reeks of wrong matter. This matter maybe was put there by someone else. A trauma might have caused it or even a sequel of traumatic events. Usually we are not responsible for carrying that creature in our bellies, but still we are responsible for the things it does. Maybe we would never be able at any time to cure this evil or stop it from ruining our lives and the lives of other people. But denying the scale and depth of this evil by dismissing its existence is the worst thing that could happen to us. That would be the first major step that one must take in becoming a professional hypocrite.

Unfortunately society houses many of those professionals. Fortunately-or unfortunately perhaps-there are amateurs, if you like, who are constantly criticised for speaking openly of that hidden dark side beside and despite the fact that it does not show on the face. It is not a part of us that we have willingly acquired to display on our characters, but still it is a part within us that lives in the deepest depths of our consciences.

I don't think this is really practical, but at least I can be true to myself and my environment in choosing good from bad by being honest. And besides, why put an ugly face for the fault of something I never chose to carry?

This brood-now I'm thinking of a David Cronenberg film with the same title-should be not ignored by avoidance nor brought out to full explosion. It is a hard equilibrium to be kept nevertheless.

[I Am Svetlana]

I relate the the most with Lurid because I normally depend on the blade...then again, we all have our own forms of escape and what we depend on to help take the inner pain away. Soon, we just want to feel normal, have no problems and just be like everyone else. No one will accept our escapes nor will they understand why we depend on them to help us out. As long as they know that we are not like them and we aren't perfect. We are not broken, we aren't toys. We're dysfunctional, I say. There is not such thing as a broken person, except when one gets broken mentally...but thats a diferent story. But wonderful write, I could really relate :)

[Break The Broken]

i loveall the differnt parts in it, and my favorite is Mysterious.

Earth revolves around. If you tell people, they will
very well, get disturbed and be driven away. You aren’t
like everyone else. You are DIFFERENT.