The Addiction

Addiction doesn't have to be alcohol or drugs. It goes much deeper than that. This is about exactly that.

An addiction runs through my veins. Its wild and unforgiving. Unfixable and undeniable. Only recently have i come to realize it to be what it is. To me it was always just something i enjoyed. But now i have realized it runs my life. 

"How are you doing?"

"Can i help you?"

"You can tell me anything."

This addiction, it has broken me into a thousand unfixable pieces. Each time i used it has broken me in a different way. Sometimes i used and it fixed one of my problems. But sometimes it didn't do a single thing for me. Yet i keep trying. And i still am. When will i finally be full? 

"Are you sure?"

"I can come over if you need me"

You don't actually need me. I just need you. I want that high. The feeling of euphoria is in your hands and i crave it so bad. Please let me have it. so you let me have some of it. Once more you feed the hunger. You are unaware of what you are doing to me. My addiction is becoming worse. I have no one to blame but me. 

"I shouldn't have said that."

"i'm so sorry."

The pain of the absence is more than i can handle. Its gotten so bad that in the absence i am nothing. Nothing but skin and bones breathing in the air. Breathing in desperation. My thoughts have broken me even more. I am my own worst enemy. Without this addiction what would i be? I cant live without you. I cant live without this. 

"Please tell me the truth."

"Don't you care?"

Desperation has over taken me. I want you to be addicted to me. I want you to desire everything about me. But i am the only one addicted. I don't want you to deal with what i do. Please go and save yourself. I will be here. Tears in my eyes, pain in my heart, but i will be here.

Slowly fighting the addiction. I will win someday. 

Author's Note

I struggle everyday with accepting that things aren't ever going to be simple. That not everyone has to accept me. So this is my addiction; Humans and love. I left it out so that you can let it be whatever you want.
Thank you Solidad for making me realize this.

Reviews

[K. Bridgid]

Beautifully told. It is very true. I know how hard it is to be addicted to somebody. It hurts so much when you can no longer see/talk to them every day and when it's clear you need them much more than they need or even want you. This really speaks to me, and you did a great job making me feel that.

[daniel lee johnson]

Excellent and I can think of worse addictions.