The Life Theif

The pain life leaves us with can only be briefly touched by writing. This is my story of a hurtful memory in my past

Thud thud thump. Green eyes, short brown hair, and a gleaming smile; I came clumsily falling down the stairs. I had so much adrenaline. This was the day! You could feel my energy radiating off of me, it was contagious. As the shining sun shone through the window in the grand kitchen it made my mother’s face glow. Today she got up to go see the doctor. The sun hit her mint green eyes making them translucent, all while she smiled the same radiant smile as any other day. I ran up to her asking “are you leaving now!?” But her radiant face read to me that she had fear. The feeling came and went, I was way too excited to read too far into it. Today was somehow different, I had no idea what to expect. It was the day everything changed for the better?  "How about the name Opal?" my mother screamed as she was heading out the door. The doctor was going to tell her the sex of the brand new sibling I couldn't wait to welcome to my life. As I sat and pondered the name, even though my mom had already left, all I could think of was Because of Winn Dixie. I couldn't have a little sister with a name like that! It was too weird. But, how it grew to mean so much more than just a simple name. I paced back and forth waiting for my mom to come back home. Never had I been that excited, this feeling was better than the sound of the ice-cream truck making its way through the neighborhood! Then as the door opened to welcome my mother it caught me off guard that her face was no longer radiant and glowing. I could feel an impending doom fill my whole body, encasing me in sorrow. It was the same feeling I got when I thought about monsters possibly being in my closest. As the tears slowing ran down her beautifully freckled face, I knew that no good news could come of this. Her normally vibrant voice lowered to a quiet gentle whisper, which was weird for my crazy dysfunctional family: "Lauren, I don't know how to tell you, but we lost the baby." My face fell flat without a single twitch of any muscle. My brain went flat, it was as if I no longer had the ability to feel or think. So all I could do was stand there feeling the life being sucked out of me. As I began to process the idea that my family was going to just stay the same, it made my stomach turn. That beautiful baby girl I hoped and dreamed of and that my mom was so excited to bring home, she was never going to set foot in our house. Right there I decided that Opal was the perfect name and the reason I was going to live the best life possible. Some days the thoughts overwhelmed me, while others I let them escape without even giving it a moment to think about. I had to forget! It was all I wanted, the pain wasn’t welcome anymore. But why forget something that will be a part of you forever? You don't, so in order to cope we all slowly got back into our everyday life. We woke up went to school or work came home to do homework just living life as if nothing drastic had happened. Slowly letting this part of life settle in its place. It made me question what my purpose was in life. Was it my fault that I couldn't have another sibling? But how could it be? It played tricks on my mind filling me with guilt. The way I valued life was forever changed by one little baby that didn't even get to breath its first breath. I never thought that something like this would happen much less change me. I wasn’t even aware of the possibility of losing something you never fully had. I began to see the value I had and how lucky I was to be able to do all things the world had to offer. I still had the same loving family, it just didn't get the chance to open its loving arms to another beautiful soul. Such a little thing had such a huge impact. Waking up every morning meant so much more to me. I had all these chances to do things that I always took for granted; things that seemed so little yet they carried great significance. With this I treasured every hardship I faced and even the days that passed with ease. Having this happen had shed a whole new light to being able to accept things as they come. To turn them into something positive, let it change me for the better. Bad things happen to teach us good lessons, that's what I made of the mess of those few days many years ago. All learned in spite of someone I never got to meet. Every now and again I think of the beautiful smile that would have pulled across her face because I made her proud. I image her to have taught me more about life in the few months she existed than anyone who has breathed on the earth. She was a beautiful soul robbed of the fire to live. 

Reviews

[Sophimare]

An interesting story, quite sweet and enhancing. I do think it would’ve benefited from having indented paragraphs, though, since it kind of seems like one, big, block of information.