The Blue Eyed Monster

Technology has grabbed a hold of emotions and captured some into the deep pit of feeling alone.

I sit there staring at a black screen. Standing up pacing around like I actually have things to do. Five minutes pass and it’s still black. My thoughts begin to wander and leaves my soul feeling like it has a hole. Am I not good enough, is my love not needed? Or does it not fill you the way that it should? I think I have made you fill my holes because I don’t want to look anymore. I will let you be temporary because it feels good. All while I am knowledgeable of the bigger hole that you will soon leave me with. My feelings dip so low till that blue light flashes, letting me know someone out there requires my attention. Then my heart beats faster filled with this feeling of finally being needed. That feeling is only as temporary as my happiness seems to be. The moment the blackness comes back it seems to me only seconds till I am filled with that empty longing feeling again. Your words can’t fill me enough, so why do I keep trying to make them. I don’t want to have to need you. I don’t want to be the one chasing around after you and waiting. Simple thing to do would is just stop? How do you just stop? You can’t stop yourself from wanting love. It’s something as a human we require to live a “happy” life.