Ascension Of The Fallen

One of my imaginary stories that I'm working on.

 

 

 

 

The Angel...

 

    .                                         

  .                                  

   .                              

    H                         

  a                  

  d             

   

        F   

         a

              l

                  l

                      e

                          n

                                 .

                                     .

                                          .

 

...In Love          

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 Then, He Was Given Choices To Make

 

Somehow

 

He Made A Choice Which He Truly Regrets

 

Tried To Change His Fate

 

His Decision Earned Him Damnation

 

 

 

 

 

 

 Heaven Refused To Accept Him...

 

 

...And Now...

 

 

...Hell Is Fearing That He'll Take Over

 

 

 

 

 

He Threatens To Destroy Everything

 

That Were Created To Serve

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Never-Ending War Between Heaven And Hell

 

The Epic Battles That Have Been Going On For Centuries

 

 

 

All Of Sudden, It Was Put On Hold

 

Because The Fallen Angel Became Far Worse

 

Than Both Heavenly Angels

 

And Hellish Demons

 

 Ever Will Be

 

Combined...

 

 

 

 

 

Now, For The First Time Ever

 

They All Are In It Together

 

 

On The Hunt For The Most

 

 

               Renegade...

 

 

...Rogue...

 

 

...Ruthless               

 

 

Fallen Of All Time

 

 

 

 

 

He Believes He Overpaid His Due

 

And He Wants His Revenge 

 

For It Was All In The Name Of Love...

 

 

 

 

 

Author's Note

Let me know what you really think, honestly. I guess I really do need some of the encouragements before I go any further, so I don't feel like I'm wasting my time.

Reviews

[Legion]

I like the way you formatted this. All over the place like an angel falling and trying to take flight. Kudos on that. As for the write itself, you have an interesting idea but I think you sell yourself short by limiting your vocabulary on this. Get yourself a dictionary and a thesarus and look at what you have written already. Then use the two to improve on what you have done. This is something I did years ago when I first began writing and it has helped tremendously. It is good, don't get me wrong on that, but I think you can make this remarkable if you try a little more. Kudos.

[Michelle Lea]

Wow, Wow!! I like the way you arranged this write, it's so creative like always... (-: It flows and the play on and usage of words....so powerful, yet so expressive!! Awesome job, keep writing!!!!! (-:

[Lia]

I love how you layed this out, very powerful and strong piece. Great flow and rhythm..Well done!! x

[K. Aurora]

Hmmmm... I think this "Fallen Angel" is someone who fights against fate. Trying to mold the world and people hearts into what he wish's rather then what is pre-ordained.
I can see how both heaven and hell, would fear one such as this. They would see the fallen angel as a loose cannon that could destroy the fundemental underpinning of what is.

I'm curious to see how it goes from here. Please do continue! :)

Kansas

[Wolfwind Words]

This has a lot of potential. I like the way it flowed to bring people on edge, awaiting what will happen next. It seems to speak to me of an arranged marraige by the gods, that an angel refused and fell for. Choosing instead to find love on his own. The gods are angry. He is angry at the gods, the Devil seems to fear him.
A wonderful starting point for a momentous tale.

Continue it! I look forward to see where it shall lead in time.

Maycroft

[Burr the Story Sorceres..]

I think it is brilliantly written. Your words flow well and I totally believe it. It tugs at my heartstrings and I am siding with the fallen angel.
You are never wasting your time when you're writing! You are a wonderful poet and you should never feel that way.
I give you a ten out of ten.
^_^

[darkgurl]

I like the way this is written, it shows power and strength, even through the fallen angel. It shows there are hidden battle lines inside of everyone. This is very well writtn, like this you have done a wonderful job putting this together....Kim

[JC]

There was a show on the BBC called HEX, that I absolutely adored and this reminds me of that. I think I am agreement with the others about what this could become. We all write and then re-write and again and again second guessing ourselves. Like any artist, we are never quite satisfied with what we have done.

I would take Legion's advice about the thesarus, I know it has been an emense help when I get writer's block.
I personally don't think you need the format you've chosen, the work stands on it's own.

Hope that helps.

JC

[Blade & Blood (The ..]

Wow! You know, this being you're describing seems a lot like a metaphor for humanity: "Because The Fallen Angel Became Far Worse/Than Both Heavenly Angels/And Hellish Demons"-- Those lines gave me that assumption. ^^ Which brings me to say that I simply love your choice of words. And the bit about the angel falling in love was a phenomenal touch... however that little detail gives me a strange feeling in my gut that it's an "ethical appeal"....

Anyways, this is an excellent idea you've got here! An angel who's not fit for either Hell or Heaven! :) I agree with "Poetess"; this really does sound like a preview... Certainly a great way to start a full blown story if you ask me. ;)

Ironically Yours, Blade and Blood

[Meridian]

To me, this piece reads like a preview of a movie. It has just enough substance to have the reader wanting more. There is a goldmine of a tale behind your words. I, for one, want to know what happens, what takes place after the piece ends...

Love the format too.

This is a very good start. Are you planning to expand this piece? I truly hope so.

[GenMuffin7]

its a great idea, i really enjoyed reading it.

as constructive criticism:

i know this is just the beginning for you, but i feel it could be a lot deeper. don't be hesitant to channel all of your emotions into your writing. once you do that, this will truly be beautiful. because the tone of the writing seems detached when it could be sorrowful and bitter.

then again, it could just be me. either way, keep on writing, its definitely worth it.