Three Nails And A Bullet

Just one of those time when I felt like joining The Man himself in the other way around for no reasons whatsoever.

Along The Time That Never Before Gone Bold

I'm So Tired Of Being Surround By The Cold

All Ready To Give Up For The Priceless Lives

Looking For Those Who Got The Knives

Instead, Saw All Of Them Just Stood Still

Finally Found One Who Know The Wills

Calmly Gave The Three Rusty Steel Nails

For Those Without Yellow Back Tails

Also, Gave In One Silver Bullet

To The Soulless Of The Scarlet

Will Not Do Any Of Screaming

Just To Watch My Blood Streaming

Pouring Out Of My Body Like The Rain

So, I Can Remember The True Pain

Don't Shoot Me In The Head

Already, I Would've Be Easily Dead

Do Not Shoot Me In The Heart

That Way, There's No Lack Of The Art

Shoot Me In The Center Of Stomach

Need To Feel The Uttermost Ache

Please, Try Not So Much To Fret

You'll Leave Me Without The Regrets

You've Already Forgiven From The Deeds

Because, I Just Died For Your Needs

 

Author's Note

Think I need some serious help?

Reviews

[The Archangel Gabriel]

Very nicely stated. Thanks for the read request and the others as well.

I found the capital letters to be distracting and to reduce my ability to follow the flow of the work. That does not mean that they should go or that this is always the case. I think that the longer size of the lines compounded this issue. Dunno. Shooting from the hip.

Great work.

Peace and love,
Gabe

[Sean M. Addams]

man i'm missing out on alot of your great pieces ... another great crafted deep powerful write...

[Lia]

I totally love this poem, so bold strong and deep. Emotional and dark. Amazing. Well done! x

[Angel's Lady]

Need To Feel The Uttermost Ache - Wow, what a powerful line. Great write, very dynamically written!

[None]

When I read your excellent writing I get the feeling that you lived at the end of the 18th Century or were around at the beginning of the 19th. I see an element of long ago in your writing, you have a knowledge and delivery in such a way. Your poem is powerfully emotion-filled. You do a wonderful job getting emotions out on paper and your writing style is excellent.

[Anonymous Shadow]

definitely not. its the extreme emotions that fuel art. if you use it as your method of escape, then you dont need help, in my opinion. its when the emotions take over too much for you to express them: thats when to get help.

i think the rhyming, in places, is a little forced, but that could just be my bias; i hate rhyme with a passion.

the last two lines really stuck out for me; in my eyes, the last few lines should hold the most emphasis, since they are the ones that stay in the memory of the reader(s). you done this perfectly.

keep it up.

[Blade & Blood (The ..]

I really did like this! It definitely is a powerful piece; it's pretty ballsy too because I've never read anything that actually potrayed this particular Character in first-person... I think they're afraid; lol wimps. ;)

The silver bullet was a real neat touch to the poem. It sort of gave a suicidal feel to the Character; you know, a darker feel that could definitely catch and keep anyone's attention, so great job with that. ^^ Gotta love those suicidal tones. The entire bottom half of this lovely piece of work was too powerful... in a good way, though. It really got through to me that the Character was depressed but didn't regret the sadness or pain that He felt.

Anyways, to answer your question... it sort of depends on your asking it. When it comes to the poem: no worries, you did an absolutely excellent job, and it needs no changes because you pretty much set your point across. If you're asking if you need help psychologically: That's for you to decide because even if writing brings out the best and worst of people, it doesn't really "tell all".

Thanks for sharing this with me. :) I really enjoyed reading it and I loved reviewing it... Can you tell?

Ironically Yours, Blade and Blood

[Kena Dawn Augustine]

No, you don't need serious help. but your poem is one serious good piece. a little confusing to follow, but very deep and a unique style all your own. Very unique, and very dark, but I felt it read very smoothly. nice job.

[Nik Dendera]

Wow. Loved it! It has passion and such a strong feeling to it... can't describe it...
Excellent work! The last two lines are so powerful, its been a while since I read something like this. Hats off, my friend!

[A.r. Bazian]

no!
i dont!
in many ways do we set our feelings free, in many shapes!
and this is just one of them!
its not about the blood or the killing! its abuot what you feel...
you have given many sacrifices!
and ... you're feeling pain, but you somehow want to keep giving!
one thing i got out that!
some things i dont understand!
but i've read the poem twice, and i'll still read it over and over!

very good write
be well