Breaking The Commandments

Everybody have their own personal temptations where they couldn't resist.

 

Thou Shalt Not Forget Thy Lord...

...And I Shall Throw Down The Sword

 

Thou Shalt Not Have Another Gods...

...And I Shall Laugh At All Of The Odds

 

Thou Shalt Not Take The Lord's Name In Vain...

...And I Shall Say It Right Out Loud In The Plain

 

Thou Shalt Not Skip The Lord's Day...

...And I Shall Look At It And Run Away

 

Thou Shalt Not Dishonor Thy Father And Mother...

...And I Shall Rebel One Way Or Way Of Another

 

Thou Shalt Not Give Out The Act To Kill...

...And I Shall Know And Keep The Thrills

 

Thou Shalt Not Commit Any Adultery...

...And I Shall Run Out As The Adversary

 

Thou Shalt Not Look For To Steal...

...And I Shall Take What's For Real

 

Thou Shalt Not Speak Of The Lies...

...And I Shall Close Both Of My Eyes

 

Thou Shalt Not Do Any Of The Covet...

...And I Shall Corrupt The Covenants

 

Author's Note

Please, don't forgive me for that I have sinned.

Reviews

[KayOss]

Don't worry; you're not forgiven. This is a wonderful piece. I really enjoyed reading it. It has a certain musicality that was infectious. For some reason, this put me in the mind of Corporate Avenger. I hope you don't mind the connection; my mind made it almost subconsciously. Anyway, I think we all spend our time searching out our truths, which can and will vary from person to person. Thanks for sharing.

[Kena Dawn Augustine]

I can tell you are a rebellious man. Anyway, this was a litle bit of dry humor. I have never seen a poem such as this, very unique. thanks for sharing.

[Jd Young]

OMFG!

This is amazing. Ok now, I'm hooked. I love this whole centered stanzas type convention you have going on. I love biblical themes, and this poem is absolutely brilliant and dark. I love how you cam up with a single line to match and degrade each commandment. it's creative and genius, and it's definitely going into my favorites. I always wondered what it would be like in Hell. If they had laws, like heaven.

This reminds me of Ten Commandments that would be shifted in Hell. Opposite of what we do. After all, the world comes in pairs. Different, bu true in any way, shape, or form. It really digs deep into religion, but the way that you conveyed each one, makes it out to be humorous, at the same time, dark and alluring.

[Aries]

Very Original ... raw and uncensored....I like it!!

[justjenn_2u]

Finally, a poem I didn't know how to comment on in a way. I don't feel like I can say I agree with the lines, because conviction would hit me pretty hard. Now, if you are writing in a sarcastic form, as in you have sinned, I can relate. : ) The wording is good as well as the choice of words. Well written poem with a controversial tone.

[Chillbear Latrigue]

This is really an awesome poem. Very raw and original. A lot of energy in this one. Nice work.

[Jane Doe]

This is a wonderful piece. I love the pace. It is a very unique poem that truly shines. Thank you for sharing.

[Spilled Her Guts in Cur..]

This was a great read. It had a really great rhythm to it and the rhyme sounded flowing too. I love the idea of this since i've probably broken like 8 out of those 10 commandments i can relate totally...

[[untitled]]

I won't forgive.
LOL!
Great poem!
I enjoyed it.
I have sinned that is for sure,
so it is good to know someone else has.
I have probably broke about 5 of those commandments.
Sorry I am not perfect,
but no one is.

[Ruby Moon]

haha...
its your own interperation
who are we to say you shouldn't or can't?
^-^
we are who we are...
no matter how we try to hide it would peek out one day
might as well show it openly and get it over with

[Drea]

Look for the divine within and not without. For when we seek it outside we only see where we do NOT measure up. We see only where we need to deprive and to be punished. The great akasha creator force loves us all and created us all perfect with divinity's light from the moment we uttered our first cry. We ALL have purpose; We All are connected to the divine. It may be that some of have lessons to teach that are difficult; that some have been sent as examples; that some have heavy karma payment this time round.
The divine has many faces make no mistake and it manifests in each in many ways